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“Please.”

I wanted to come off as assertive, but my final words sounded like a plea. I resolved not to break down before my plan even started. I needed to be determined. Even if Kaichen would treat me negatively after this, I wouldn’t mind. I had no choice. I had to get out of Arcrab, I didn’t want to face the people living here any longer than necessary.

My eyes, which had been fine, started throbbing and hurting again. I lowered my head in a hurry so that Kaichen could not see it and pressed my palms to my lids. It felt like my throbbing eyes would fall out of my sockets.

My body trembled as though some terrible memory was trying to flood in my mind. The discomfort towards Kaichen and the combined fear and anxiety of the memories made my body tremble even more that an onlooker would have no doubt that I was actually terrified.

“We will be leaving tomorrow,” Kaichen looked at my trembling personage and said in a low voice. He then got up and left.

The mere fact of being in Acrab rendered me unable to think calmly. I pretended to be composed and smiled and helped Angel, healed Mickey and joked with Lars as though nothing was amiss. I was just distracting myself, to put my mind at ease.

I still… am not ready. I had playfully told Kaichen that a hundred years had passed. But in reality, I wished I could forget the time that had passed. I can’t do that, so I had to prepare. If I am to sincerely face the people of Acrab without feeling guilty, I had to do this. What could I do to forget everything?

My eyes kept throbbing as though they were going to fall out, but I had become so used to the pain that I didn’t even let out a groan.

*

I had a dream. I was still trapped in time magic. The place was Mimi’s house which I saw in the morning. There, I fed Mickey the medicine that I had made myself as I had done in reality.

“Cough! Ugh!”

“Mickey!” Mimi screamed as Mickey shook and trembled. His eyes rolled back making the whites visible. I lowered my head as I watched the blood dripping from between his lips. The body which had convulsed in pain became still.

“Mickey! Mickey!” cried Mimi. I couldn’t look away from Mickey’s limp body. His eyes, heavy and sunken and lifeless. His pale skin had a bluish tinge. The medicine hadn’t worked. Mickey had died after taking the medicine.

“What did we do wrong? Why… Why are you doing this!”

Mimi had endured so much. From being thrown out of the mansion to being scammed for severance pay, she hadn’t lost hope and had cared for her sick brother. He had watched helplessly as the medicine caused seizures and then death. Mimi looked at me with eyes full of accusation.

I shook my head. “I just wanted to save him.”

“Shut up! Shut up! He is dead! You killed him! You murderer!”

I had really wanted to save him. Mimi’s fist grabbed my clothes and she slapped me squarely in the face. It didn’t hurt as much as Mickey’s death hurt me. I didn’t feel anything for slaps or fists. I ran out of the house. The people’s eyes that greeted me as I ran were full of contempt. They had probably heard Mimi’s cries.

“You shouldn’t have done anything. Why did you suddenly appear…”

“What do you expect from a drunkard?”

“Sigh, what’s the world coming to! I can’t believe she wasted a child’s life…”

I wanted to tell them they were wrong. I wanted to yell at them that I had studied and made the medicine. It was supposed to save his life, not kill him. “I… I…,” I stumbled on my words.

I couldn’t utter a sound. It was scary to endure people’s gaze which only had hatred for me. I had no choice but to run back to my shabby, depressing mansion. I curled up on the bed and covered myself with the blanket. I closed my eyes and covered my ears. Mimi’s cream reverberated in my mind. Mickey’s groans of pain kept ringing in my ears. I didn’t kill him. I didn’t kill him. No no.

It was only then I understood how irresponsible I had been. I took everything lightly. I thought that it would be okay to give him the medicine because we were trapped in time magic, so even if the medicine didn’t work, Mickey would be alive and well tomorrow. Even if Mimi looked like she wanted to kill me right now, she would welcome me again tomorrow because she would forget everything that happened on that day. Because the days kept repeating.