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“It’s gordon.”

“Gordon? Hmm… Gordon. I think I heard it once….” I felt like I had heard the name before but failed to recall it. “Ah! The poisonous herb – Gordon! I’ve seen it in herbal medicine books. It’s not in Acrab, so I’ve never actually seen it, but…. Perhaps the cause of depression… mental breakdown…” I closed my mouth after blabbing excitedly. It wasn’t the time to be excited about finding out something new. What was I so happy about? This came out from my blood.

“Seems like someone really hates me.” I smiled awkwardly scratching my head.

“It’s not something to laugh about. Alcohol with these ingredients… You may have been drinking it steadily for two years!” said Kaichen, frowning.

I flinched and bowed my head at his rebuke. He must think I did not understand the gravity of the situation. However, I cannot turn back time. I had possessed the body of this woman who had consumed this poison for two years. And, I might have done the same for a hundred years while I was in the time magic…

“By looking at the amount of ingredients, you must have been drinking a small amount consistently. Rumors of you being an alcoholic began to spread two years ago. It must have been a deliberate rumor to turn you into an alcoholic and as an excuse for the symptoms.”

“Can we make an antidote?”

“It’s not impossible because we know the ingredients, but it won’t be easy because they all have different propensity and are difficult to mix.”

Kaichen’s face turned dark, and I looked at the ingredients extracted from my blood. “But it feels somewhat familiar.” I narrowed my eyes and looked a little closer at Gordon, the only thing I didn’t know.

“Does Gordon have a cold nature?”

“It has a hot nature”

“Were hot-natured components related to the mind, maintained at high temperatures, mixed with the opposite ingredients, and then infused with magic at the end?”

“Have you ever done it?” Kaichen looked surprised.

“It somewhat feels very familiar.”

In a hundred years, I had accumulated so much useless knowledge. I learned magic, learned herbalism, read medical books, and read all the other books in Acrab. But these ingredients were very familiar for a different reason. There were many times when I developed novel drugs through all kinds of experiments, but there were only a handful of drugs with such a unique combination.

“Ah, Mickey’s disease…” My eyes widened and my mouth opened slightly. “Oh my god, teacher.”

Kaichen looked at me.

“I have made this.”

It was a nightmare that I didn’t want to remember, but it was a drug that I made after hundreds of experiments. At that time, I didn’t know how to use magic to infuse and extract the ingredients like Kaichen. I had, therefore, experimented on all of them. The medicine I had worked so hard on, to save Mickey might actually end up saving myself.

“I already have an antidote, teacher.” Kaichen frowned at my absurd words but didn’t protest.

“You mean you made the antidote yourself?”

“Ah…Yes, that is right. So… well, where should I start?” My head started spinning. The drug that I made to try and treat Mickey’s disease. Could that medicine be the same one that could treat my addiction? So, Mickey was addicted to the same poison as me?

“Dalia!” Kaichen’s voice brought me back to the present. Thanks to Kaichen, who called my name loudly, I was able to come to my senses. When he grabbed my head, I winced. He flinched too but he held on. He seemed to have bit his tongue a little. I tried to organize my thoughts.

“It’s okay to think slowly…. So, calm down.” His low, calm voice pierced through my confused mind with clarity. But I couldn’t brush off my thoughts.

The actions taken to cure Mickey’s illness, the artificial symptoms of alcoholism that drove me to the brink of death, are all because of someone’s poison? Did Dalia incur that much resentment from someone?

It now made sense that everything had been planned from the beginning. Everything had been premediated even before Dalia was chosen as a medium. Then, is it possible that the numerous things that had happened within the span of those hundred years were also part of somebody’s plan? What if Mickey’s illness was because he was tested on first before they applied the poison to me? Was the child’s illness my fault then?

“Dalia!” Kaichen’s voice brought me to my senses for a moment. I stumbled into the chair with staggering steps and shook my head. If I wanted to tell him about the antidote, then I needed to tell him about Mickey too.

What should I do if he asks me how I made the antidote? My hands began to tremble again. Everything became pitch black, and my eyes tingled. I knew what this meant, and the memories came flooding back to my mind.

Murderer! Mimi was right. I’m a murderer. Tell Kaichen everything. It seemed Dalia was urging me. I bit my lips and covered my face with both hands. It’s going to be unsightly; I can’t show him the face of a hideous murderer. He might notice it.