Chapter 44 - Risk, Always Risk
ETAN
Etan rolled over, sleep not quick to fade. But he could feel the weight of her head on his arm and the warmth of her back, and he smiled. Ayleth, his love. He pulled her back into his chest and she sighed. He buried his nose in her hair and breathed deep as she stirred.
Then he became aware of the smell of hay, the hard floor beneath his cloak, and—his eyes flew open to find the sky beyond the large hole in the wall painted in pinks, yellows, and pale oranges and he sat up in horror.
Holy shit, it was morning.
Ayleth made a grumbling noise when his arm was pulled out from under her head, but then the clunk of buckets being stacked, and voices calling in the stable below echoed through the loft and her eyes flew open too.
She sat bolt upright, her mouth dropping open and Etan clapped a hand to her mouth before she spoke—he could hear men walking in the tack rooms below them. Her eyes wide over his hand, she nodded when he pointed down and mouthed "Men there!"
He removed his hand, and they stared at each other, the danger of the situation they found themselves in descending on both of them.
Her gaze clouded as she stared, searching his eyes, pleading for something—probably for them to make it through this without discovery, just as he was. And he realized… if they didn\'t get out of here… if one of them—or worse, both of them—were discovered returning to the castle now… everything they wanted to avoid could happen.
If that happened there was every chance that after that incredible night, this could be the last time he would touch her. And by the look on her face, she realized it too.
His hand shook as he lifted it to her face, stroking her soft cheek. She closed her eyes and leaned into his palm, turning her head slightly to kiss the heel of his hand.
With a deep breath he let his fingers slide into her hair, and brought her close, kissing her deeply, fiercely, praying she understood that he would do everything in his power to keep her safe—to make sure they didn\'t face this yet. But that if they did… if they did, his heart was true.
She whimpered and clung to him, but didn\'t move away, and they had to move. They had to get out of there!
But, unable to stop himself, Etan kept kissing her until the low rumble of the men\'s voices below moved away. Then he pulled back, mouthing I love you, and she nodded and returned the gift.
With a deep breath, Etan quickly, but carefully, got to his feet and offered her a hand to help her up. He pulled her into an embrace. She buried her face in his chest and he sighed. His heart was pounding—and not just because of his fear that they\'d be discovered. Having her close, waking up with her… he wanted to groan.
She pulled her hair back then, her eyes puffy, and lines on her cheek where pieces of hay had pressed into her skin for too long. She touched his face, kissed him once, softly, then let go, creeping carefully across the floor on her toes towards the hole in the wall that she hated, and peering carefully over the edge.
He saw how her body naturally pulled away from the open height, but even as he approached, intending to offer a hand to lower her down, she swung herself over the lip of the loft, walked her feet down the outside wall, and then let herself hang off.
He was dropping to his knees, to offer a hand, but she smiled at him, then let go, dropping quietly to the grass outside, ducking immediately into the bushes that ran along the road between the castle and the stables. She was out of sight in seconds and Etan buried his face in his hands and sighed.
Below him, but inside, the men were at work. He had the choice to drift downstairs like a still-drunk Lord and let them think he\'d only stumbled in there overnight… but if Ayleth didn\'t get back without being discovered, the link would be drawn quickly.
No, he had to try to get out of there without anyone knowing he\'d been there. And he couldn\'t risk being seen returning to the castle anytime near when she had.
So, he sat and waited. For a moment he lost himself in imagining a night with her that wasn\'t stolen, that wasn\'t ruled by fear of discovery…
He had to stop thinking about that before too long, or he wasn\'t going to be able to walk out. With a sigh, he forced himself to watch the sun rise over the castle, and marvel at the woman God had given him…without remembering the details.