Chapter 44 44
There was a weird sense of emptiness when I burned Wang Zi Mo to ashes. In no way am I saying that I killed the man, his own men did that for me just fine with help from Wang Chao or Liu Wei. I originally wanted to kill him, but why would I give him that power over me? Why would I give him MORE power over me? I burnt that man to dust, and not even a zombie could come back from that. I was satisfied.
But the biggest hurdle of my second life has now been dealt with, so what do I do now? Where do I go from here? I was feeling lost and confused. In most novels, it takes like a thousand chapters before they get their revenge… if they even remember their revenge by then.
I was sitting in the back seat of Wang Chao\'s SUV, looking out the window, just thinking. Colin was the boogeyman that I once considered my best friend. You know those relationships where it starts out perfect? He said all the right things, never pressured you, and everything just seems effortless. That was how it was for the first little while. He was always by my side, this rich man with all the best connections, the CEO type that all the web novels talked about… and he was interested in me.
There was never one day for two years where he did not call me beautiful, or compliment my intelligence, or marveled at something that I had done. He thought I was a Normal and that, when push came to shove, I would turn to him to save me. And I desperately wanted that too. I wanted a prince to come and save me from the world… what girl didn\'t want that?
Then came the small comments, "We should try and save more humans, do you think that you would know where to find them?" And like the good little puppy dog I was, I went out and looked for more humans while he stayed at my compound. When I got back I would get a pet on the head and a soft, "Good girl," in that smooth, seductive voice of his.
I was willingly doing whatever he wanted because I was so desperate not to be alone anymore. It had taken me two lifetimes to find a man that looked at me like he did. But as much as he drew me in, he also left me at arm\'s length. Everyone thought that we were a couple, and I wanted that, but not once did he touch me more than just a pet on my head. Not one hug, one kiss on the forehead, not even a brief moment where he held my hand, none of that happened, yet I still chased after him.
The killing started so subtly that at first, I never really paid attention. Occasionally someone in the camp would eat something bad and die from it. But when you were eating food that was years past expiry, you would expect it, right? The fact that the ones who died were those that did not support Colin was completely a coincidence. It was not until the Asymptomatic camp that I realized what type of man I considered my friend, that I wanted to be my lover. But by then, it was too late, I was already too far into his trap that I couldn\'t escape.
I never thought he would kill me though, I thought that I had made myself useful enough to be kept around. I didn\'t want to die any more than the rest of them did. But at some point in time, your usefulness wears away and there was always someone, waiting, to take your place. I am sure that I was not the only pet he had. I just never noticed anything but the world he created for me.
I could feel the tears quietly roll down my cheek and fall into my lap. I closed my eyes and let my feelings wash over me.
"Are you crying over that bastard?" Asked Liu Wei as he turned around from the front passenger seat and looked at me.
I shook my head and wiped my face, trying to pull myself back together. "No, I\'m not crying for him. Thousands of lives have been saved now that he is dead," I said, sitting up straight and rolling my shoulders back.
"Then why are you crying?" Asked Wang Chao looking at the road in front of him, but I could feel his attention on me.
"You mean you can\'t read my mind to find out?" I snipped with a half smile. How many relationships could have been saved if the guy could read his girlfriend\'s mind? Or in this case, how many uncomfortable conversations did I not have to have if he could just read my mind instead?
"No," was his short answer. I am sure that he was able to expand on that in some way but the frigger decided not to.
"Stop deflecting and answer the question," said Liu Wei, his eyes never leaving my face.
"I am not crying for him. I am crying for me. I was more than happy to come back here, to kill him and save all those people that he killed, but what about me?"
"What do you mean?" Asked Wang Chao. He had changed directions from where I knew my car was to somewhere else, but I didn\'t care.
"I found the people he killed, I looked the other way, I helped him. If it wasn\'t for me, he never would have found most of his victims and never would have been able to feed some of them to the horde. It is my fault that this happened."
"No, Sweetheart, it is not your fault," said Liu Wei, his voice practically purring. "You were as much his victim as anyone else." A part of me knew that; I understood that I was his victim, but it would take me some time to deal with my survivor\'s guilt. But I was not going to be able to do that in the back seat of this car before we got to God knows where.
Just then, a completely new thought entered my mind… Now that my revenge has been taken care of, did that mean that I was starting the apocalypse on completely new footing? My eyebrows raised at that thought. With Colin dead, I was completely free and the future would be changed. I was liking that idea more and more.
It was…blah… knowing exactly what would happen and when. Like you were living the same days over and over again. Of course, there were some surprises… the two men in front of my being the biggest ones… but for the most part, it was still the constant cycle that I had during the end of time. I got up, I went out and got supplies and I came back to a compound thinking of what more I needed.
But now, the future stretched in front of me filled with countless possibilities.
I straightened my back again and this time a genuine smile appeared on my face. A future with countless possibilities, a new attitude, and new friends. I would grab a hold of this life and do things my way. Fuck that shit, fuck Colin or whatever his name was, and fuck those that would stand in my way.
I was a bad bitch in my head and I was going to bring her out. I would own that shit!
Just as soon as I found out where the hell we were going.