Chapter 202 – Cat Dad Abusing Glitches
Xiaomao’s consciousness returned to the catopus. He blinked several times and looked at Wei Zhi.
“It’s done, munya.”
“I-I don’t have a choice, okay? You have to take responsibility!” Wei Zhi blushed.
Xiaomao rolled his eyes. This line was so cringe that he almost cussed Wei Zhi out loud.
The next procedure required Xiaomao’s game character to connect with Wei Zhi’s real body. Although the word “Connect” might hint that way, they didn’t need to commit adultery act.
Per Mir’s instructions, Xiaomao could use anything, such as fur or whiskers, as long as something from Xiaomao became one with Wei Zhi’s body. Tentacles and THAT weren’t necessary.
Xiaomao snorted and ordered her.
“Close your eyes and stop fidgeting, munya. Do you want me to rupture your eardrums?”
“E-Eardrums?”
“Would you rather prefer if I INSERT my USB to the OTHER port, munya?”
While saying that, Xiaomao’s eyes menacingly glinted, and his fluffy tentacles suddenly turned pink and slippery.
“E-Eardrums, please, Xiaomao.”
“Good. Be quiet and lay down on the ground. Don’t move around.”
Wei Zhi pouted as she was slightly disappointed. Her face was as red as tomatoes, embarrassed and ashamed.
Noticing that Wei Zhi stopped moving, Xiaomao began the operation. He sat next to her head and moved one of his tentacles closer to the former’s left ear. Controlling his fur with his Qi, one of the furs extended and entered the ear hole.
“It tickles!”
Wei Zhi bit her lower lips, restraining her laughter. It felt strangely good for her.
Xiaomao ignored her and focused on the strand of fur. Although it rapidly grew longer, he could not perfectly control it as he wished. Thus, he could only rely on his Qi cultivation technique to straighten the fur and direct it into the depth of the hole.
Then, it touched the eardrum of Wei Zhi.
Xiaomao warned the girl, “Don’t move your head. Hold your breath and grit your teeth. This will hurt.”
“O-Okay.”
Wei Zhi closed her mouth and shut her eyes tight.
Xiaomao took a deep breath. He directed a strand of Qi to the tip of the fur. Then, he let it stab the eardrum.
PU
Wei Zhi suddenly heard a rupture sound in her left ear before she could no longer hear anything on her left side. Meanwhile, the fur kept getting longer to the point that it entered the Eustachian tube.
“Ugh.”
Indeed, it hurt. Wei Zhi’s body jerked up as she felt weird inside her left ear.
“Okay. Now is the critical part.”
Xiaomao immediately injected the strand of Qi inside her. He directed it down the tube and fell into her nasal cavity. Then, it changed direction and entered her respiratory system, using it as a pathway to enter her throat. After it fell into her throat, it avoided the path to her lungs and went down to her stomach.
When the Qi strand entered her stomach, Xiaomao immediately dispersed it into microparticles, allowing her digestive fluid to dissolve and absorb it into her bloodstream.
DING
Xiaomao reentered the character creation void. He loaded the customized character.
The character was loaded. However, the void became partially static and glitched. Colorful square blocks appeared, and the button labels became unreadable.
Xiaomao maintained his composure. He pressed the character name’s label and input Wei Zhi’s name. Then, he changed the role of this character from the support character to the main character.
This was the glitch technique that Mir had taught him. While being connected with Wei Zhi, he had to create another main character.
DING
<ERROR! ACCESS DENIED!>
This result was expected. Xiaomao ignored the error message and tried again.
<ERROR! ACCESS DENIED!>
<Overwriting codes…>
<MUNYA MUNYA MUNYA!>
<ERROR! You already have the main character. Unable to create a new main character!>
Once again, the munya language tampered with the game’s codes. Xiaomao stopped breathing and waited for the result.
If Mir was right, the void would collapse and restart.
BZZ
The void’s glitches suddenly got so severe that the void collapsed into static. Xiaomao’s consciousness was thrown into a whirlpool of darkness for a moment.
BZZ
The void and the character creation menu reappeared 10 seconds later.
When Xiaomao could see everything again, there was an extra button that Xiaomao could press under the character type label. However, the description was glitched.
<1. Main Character.>
<2. Support Character.>
<3. &P$#QM&8!>
It came out as predicted. From this point on, Xiaomao only had one job. He selected the third option.
DING
<Creating &P$#QM&8! Character!>
DING
<Wei Zhi has been created!>
<Detecting additional add-on skills.>
<Bestowing new add-on skills…>
Xiaomao didn’t notice the last two messages. He immediately opened his eyes and pulled out his extended fur. He looked at Wei Zhi’s body and gulped.
As soon as Xiaomao’s fur was out of her ear, her body floated and glowed in red light. She slowly transformed into the Oni character that Xiaomao had customized.
DING
<ERROR! TEXT FILE NOT FOUND!>
<Overwriting codes…>
<MUNYA MUNYA MUNYA!>
<Debugging completed!>
<Congratulations. You have created the first player retainer!>
<Wei Zhi has been assigned as your supporter!>
When the messages ended, Wei Zhi slowly opened her eyes. Under her floating body, her shadow manifested.
The oni samurai slowly sat up, and she descended to the ground. She looked around, adjusting her new vision, which was redder than usual.
Xiaomao was also excited. He hopped around her, examining his creation.
“Xiaomao…”
Wei Zhi’s voice changed. Her voice tone became somewhat dignified and calm.
Xiaomao gulped as the nostalgic memory kicked in. He accidentally replied, “Yes, mom?”
“Mom?” Wei Zhi was taken aback.
“Whoops. I meant ma’am! N-Never mind!”
Xiaomao sweated profusely. He hopped away from Wei Zhi in embarrassment.
Battlefield Warlord claimed her victory, and her body was restored. After the intense match with Jungwoo, she defeated the other contestants without breaking a sweat.
In the end, the Oni walked away with the grand prize.
After the individual tournament was concluded, the game’s hosts temporarily postponed the event to another day so that they could milk the live stream’s sponsors.
While the players and viewers got to rest, the game company’s employees and executives were busy preparing the stages for the guild war tomorrow, which was more complex than the round-robin tournament.
On the other hand, the true mastermind of the game company focused on the biggest league of them all – the Immortal Tournament.
Pan Xian’s consciousness hovered over the prepared tournament ground. Below him, 31 tube-like arrays in the sky trapped immortals from the game worlds there. Among them, one was empty.
Pan Xian furrowed his brows. He mumbled to himself, but someone from a distant planet could hear him.
“Where is Mao Miaomiao? Didn’t we trap him here?”
The voice of Pan Mei entered Pan Xian’s mind, ‘He was there a few minutes ago, but a higher power rescued him from our array.’
“Mu-Nyang, probably.”
‘Yes. No one else can infiltrate our universe undetected. But father, isn’t it odd? He didn’t rescue Ma Moxi, Xie Tian, and the others.’
“I assume that he intentionally left them there to test the strength of Hiiro.”
Pan Xian gazed at a valiant man inside one of the arrays. The latter also looked up, and their eyes met.
“Or rather, he knew that I already corrupted one of them.”
‘So, what are we going to do? Are we going to search for Mao Miaomiao in World Two again?’
“Don’t bother. Transfer 70% of our resources to support Narukami Hiiro, 10% to Asgard, 10% to the Netherworld, and the rest to Hongjun. Convince Odin and Solomon to help us capture Miao Xiaomao. If we have him, we will have a bargaining chip to bring down Mu-Nyang and Mao Miaomiao!”
‘Roger that.’
Pan Xian sighed. He stopped talking to his son and gazed at Xie Tian, who was still staring at him.
“Too bad, Xie Tian. Your nemesis has escaped. Oh, well. Kill Ma Moxi for me and let Hiiro win the immortal tournament. That’s your new task!”
Pan Xian’s consciousness left the game world.
Meanwhile, the sharp and valiant-looking cultivator still looked up. His long black hair, refined smooth skin, and handsome face could potentially make young maidens fall in love with him at the first sight. He was the perfect alpha male that even the trapped men in the other arrays sneaked glances at this person’s face, admiring his masculine charm.
Xie Tian’s eyes were cold. His killing intent kept rising as he thought of his nemesis, who had murdered him in his previous life.
When Xie Tian could no longer sense Pangu in the sky, he turned toward a man with pale tender skin.
The pale man looked so fragile that he resembled a pampered young master, who never worked out or saw the sunlight for decades. His pretty face was so otherworldly that many men mistook him for a woman.
Ma Moxi, the master of Mount Tian Yuan, was still in his silk robes. He stood in the array and flapped his paper fan as if nothing had happened.
When Ma Moxi’s eyes met with Xie Tian’s, the former smirked.
“What? You mad bro?”
Xie Tian spat, “Are you still working for Mao Miaomiao?”
“What if I do?”
“I’ll kill you first, then.”
“Pfft. How edgy. What happened to you after the Great Reset? You were so passionate about helping Miaomiao before. Now, you suddenly want him dead.”
“You have no idea what he did to me in the past.”
Ma Moxi folded his fan. Then, it transformed into a long sword, “I already knew that he killed your counterparts, but that happened in the other timelines. Or maybe, has your consciousness been devoured by those losers?”
“…”
Ma Moxi shrugged, “Bull-eyes, I see. I pray that we get to meet in the first round. I’ll make sure to pummel you until you come back to your senses.”
Xie Tian snorted, “Keep barking. Assassins are no match for me!”
“We’ll see about that!”