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Chapter 159

I tried to act as nonchalantly as possible.

“Let\'s do that then,” I said. “It seems to be the best way forward. Let’s wait here until Do Han-Sol comes back.”

“Mr. Lee Hyeon-Deok.”

Lee Jeong-Uk had called my name in a low voice. I chuckled and continued to put my best face forward.

“Does anyone have a better idea? The rest of us should inspect the aircraft while Mr. Do Han-Sol goes to Daegu. We should be ready to go at any time.”

“So-Yeon’s dad, calm down.”

“If there is some remnant of civilization left in Daegu, that’ll be good for the survivors, and also for the researchers from Russia. What else could we possibly ask for?”

I offered up a gleeful smile. Lee Jeong-Uk let out a deep sigh and looked at the other leaders.

“Everyone, let’s end today’s meeting here.”

"Excuse me, I\'m not done talking yet."

“You. Calm down and follow me. I have something I need to speak with you about.”

Lee Jeong-Uk frowned and left the meeting room. I put on a bewildered expression, and the leaders looked away with bitter expressions. When I saw their faces, I realized that something wasn’t right.

Steam was coming off my body. I realized that I’d gotten worked up and had been rattling out words non-stop. The thought of not being able to see So-Yeon had taken over me for a second.

Realizing how I was the one who was sticking out, I got up with a grimace. I gave the other assembled leaders a slight bow, then followed Lee Jeong-Uk outside.

As I headed toward the main entrance of the terminal, I saw Lee Jeong-Uk with his hands in his pockets. He looked at me with a frown.

"Are you okay?"

"Of course I am."

“Hah. I’m glad you didn’t become an actor. Your acting is really awful, you know?”

“...”

"In fact, I know you’ve never been alright. Not once."

I smacked my lips. I tried to pretend that I was okay, but I’d ended up running my mouth and unwittingly causing my body to heat up and release steam, letting the whole world know how I truly felt about the proposed idea. The other leaders probably caught onto the fact that I was all worked up, just like Lee Jeong-Uk had.

Lee Jeong-Uk slicked his bangs back and spoke up.

“Let’s go out and take a walk.”

“It’s dangerous to go outside. The sun’s down.”

Lee Jeong-Uk snorted and put his hand on my shoulder.

"I\'m with you; what could possibly be a danger?"

I had no choice but to follow Lee Jeong-Uk out of the terminal. I took a deep breath, taking in the cool night air. For some reason, I felt incredibly empty as I walked down the runway with my hands in my pockets.

Lee Jeong-Uk looked up at the dark night sky and spoke up.

“I can’t believe I’m walking on a runway. I never imagined I’d do such a thing.”

“Yeah…”

“So-Yeon’s dad.”

I looked over at Lee Jeong-Uk, and he continued to speak while looking up at the night sky.

“Do you know what my daughter\'s name is?”

“...”

For some reason, I wasn’t able to reply. Unlike Lee Jeong-Uk, who was looking up, my head was bowed down. Lee Jeong-Uk gave me a sidelong glance.

“Didn’t I tell you?”

“So-Jin.”

"Huh? How’d you know? I don’t remember telling you.”

“When we first met, I heard Jeong-Hyuk say her name.”

Lee Jeong-Uk pouted his lower lip and nodded slowly. The events of that day suddenly floated into my mind.

- There was nothing you could do about that. So-Jin had a burning fever. I would’ve done the same.

I clearly remembered Lee Jeong-Hyuk patting Lee Jeong-Uk on the shoulder while the latter sobbed.

Lee So-Jin.

She was Lee Jeong-Uk\'s deceased daughter.

Lee Jeong-Uk sighed and stayed silent for a while.

"I… I actually know,” he finally said.

“Know what?”

“That you tried to save my wife and daughter when they were locked inside.”

My eyes widened. I stared at Lee Jeong-Uk in shock. I couldn’t take a single step forward, as if someone had suddenly grabbed both of my legs. Lee Jeong-Uk offered a small smirk.

“What are you so surprised about?” he asked.

“Umm… How long have you known?”

“The day my wife died… I saw someone in the apartment across from us reflecting light with a

hand mirror. I also saw my wife follow the reflected light and run into another room.”

My jaws fell open as I stared stupidly at Lee Jeong-Uk. Lee Jeong-Uk noticed my dumbfounded face and continued to speak.

“When you went out to get food, I spoke about this with Jeong-Hyuk and Da-Hye.”

“...”

“That perhaps we could trust this zombie. Stuff like that.”

“...”

“I sometimes think about whether I could’ve done the same thing as you. Jeong-Hyuk and Da-Hye said that they wouldn’t have been able to.”

My head sagged as my expression grew more confused. Deep inside, I knew that his wife had died in despair, and that their child had died before them because of my arrogance.

Getting bitten to death by zombies, or ending one’s life through one’s own will.

I couldn’t tell which was worse. But one thing was for sure—they both led to the same ending

Lee Jeong-Uk patted my shoulder.

“When we were stranded at the convenience store,” he continued, “we hadn’t eaten for two days.”

“...”

“And you came and gave us canned food and water, right?”

When I nodded silently. Lee Jeong-Uk broke into a hearty smile.

“That’s why I decided to trust you,” he said, “So-Yeon’s dad, someone who was more human than other humans. At that time, you were a zombie who couldn\'t speak, but that heart of yours, it was more human than any other human’s.”

Lee Jeong-Uk smiled innocently and tapped my shoulder. He looked at me with eyes full of determination.

“So-Yeon—I’ll think of her as my daughter and take responsibility for her until the moment I die.”

“Jeong-Uk…”

“It’s not like I’m trying to replace So-Jin with So-Yeon. I just… I also want to give you peace of mind, just like you did for us.”

“...”

“The belief that So-Yeon will be safe no matter what.”

I bit my lower lip and looked at Lee Jeong-Uk. He looked at me and chuckled.

“Oh jeez, why are you tearing up?”

“Me? Do you think I’m crying?”

“Alright, alright. But I knew you had a soft side to you. Maybe this is just the way thoughtful people are?”

“Cut it out, man.”

I looked away and sniffed once. Lee Jeong-Uk patted me on the back.

“We’re not sure if Daegu is safe yet, but if it’s really safe there, you should figure out what’s best for you too.”

“...”

“Stop worrying about us and think about how you’ll live your future.”

Hearing his advice, I realized that I had never once thought about my own future. My mind was fully occupied with the safety and happiness of So-Yeon and everyone else that I didn’t have room to think about anything else.

Lee Jeong-Uk scratched his head.

“Human beings should live in the present while they think about tomorrow. That’s why I hope you come up with a new goal in life. Not one for the sake of others, but something for yourself. Like figuring out the meaning of life.”

“...”

‘The meaning of life, huh.’

I wondered what would happen to my life after all the people I had to protect finally left me. I looked up at the night sky and let out a sigh. Lee Jeong-Uk glanced over at me.

"It’s getting cold,” he said, “I’m heading inside first. Think about what I said, then come back inside.”

“Yeah…”

Lee Jeong-Uk walked back toward the terminal, but I could tell from his footsteps that he was feeling empty inside. As I watched him go, I couldn’t help but wonder how he’d found a meaning to his life after losing his wife and daughter—his everything.

Was it making sure that Lee Jeong-Hyuk and Choi Da-Hye were safe?

Rescuing survivors?

I wondered what was on his mind. However, no matter how hard I thought about it, I couldn\'t figure out the answer. But there was one thing for sure… That Lee Jeong-Uk would make it through any hardships that came his way.

He was someone that I could trust.

And that someone said that he would do everything for my daughter. Lee Jeong-Uk probably had no clue how comforting his words were. I felt the remaining shreds of guilt dissolve after speaking with him. The guilt that had been on my mind all this time—not being able to save the woman and child trapped on the balcony—shattered to pieces.

I breathed in the cold winter air as I saw him get further and further away.

Lee Jeong-Uk was right. There was no reason to feel nervous and anxious over something that hadn’t happened yet. His comforting words helped to get me back on my feet. I took a calming breath and thought about what I had to focus on at the moment.

‘Let\'s focus until the end, and only when peace comes, then we’ll think about my future.’

* * *

When I collected myself and returned to the passenger terminal, Kim Hyeong-Jun came up to me, rubbing his neck.

“Ahjussi.”

“What?”

“I got us two extra days.”

When I tilted my head, Kim Hyeong-Jun smiled.

“Han-Sol’s sleeping.”

"Oh…”

It seemed like Do Han-Sol had eaten the boss’s brain. Eating a black creature’s brain would put you to sleep for about a week, but eating the brain of an enemy leader who had eaten a black creature’s brain would knock you out for two days maximum.

After giving me the news, Kim Hyeong-Jun walked over to his son and wife. I watched him walk away, lost in thought.. I couldn’t help but wonder what was on his mind at the moment.

He probably didn’t want to be separated from his family either. I wondered if he had already accepted the fact that he would have to eventually, and he tried to enjoy these last moments with his family as much as possible, since there was nothing he could do about it.

Even though he was pretending that everything was fine, I could tell from his body language that he was feeling down as well. His stride, his shoulders, his back; every part of him showed his reluctance.

We were all handling the upcoming separation in our own respective ways. I sighed and went to find So-Yeon.

“Huh? It’s Daddy!”

So-Yeon, who was playing Gonggi with the other children, stopped and ran toward me.[1]

I smiled lightly and hugged So-Yeon. She smiled and buried her face in my chest. I felt her warmth reach my dead heart, making me feel as if my heart was beating again. I knelt down and looked at So-Yeon.

“So-Yeon?” I said.

"Yeah?"

“Do you miss the world we used to live in?”

So-Yeon wiggled her upper body.

“Hmm… A little?” she said.

I wondered if she was too shy to tell the truth. Even though everyone had adapted to this fallen world, both adults and children were still longing for the world they’d lived in before. I stroked her head.

“In a little while, we can go back to the world we used to live in.”

"Really?"

“Yes, really. Do you see the Russian ahjussis over there?”

So-Yeon looked around. After seeing the Russian soldiers sleeping in the corner, she nodded. I pointed at them and continued.

“The ahjussis over there made a cure.”

“Then can Daddy come back?”

“Well, that’s something Daddy doesn’t know yet.”

“Daddy, you don’t have to be Superman. Just stay with me.”

So-Yeon took my arm and smiled brightly. Seeing her grabbing my shirt with her tiny hands made me feel sad inside. She wanted a dad who would be by her side, rather than a dad who was strong like Superman.

I didn\'t know what to say.

If she knew that she would have to say goodbye to me in order to go back to the world that we had come from… I wasn’t sure if So-Yeon would be willing to do that. There were so many things I wanted to say to her, but I tried my best to keep them to myself. Since I couldn’t say anything, I smiled and nodded instead.

So-Yeon looked at me with her big, round eyes while biting her lower lip. It seemed like she wanted a definitive answer from me. But… I didn’t dare make a promise that I knew I couldn’t keep.

So, instead of answering, I held her in my arms and closed my eyes gently. I then repeated to myself that it won’t be long, and that I’d return to how I used to be.

So-Yeon’s face said that she had no clue what was going on. She didn’t look sad, but she also didn’t look happy. Rather, she seemed to be questioning my actions. It was often said that children are quick-witted. So-Yeon must’ve sensed the looming separation without even realizing it.

As the silence wore on, it felt as though she was beginning to feel some indescribable awkwardness. Her expression hinted that she couldn’t figure out what was exactly going on. I took a deep breath.

“So-Yeon, do you want a piggyback ride from Daddy?” I asked her.

As soon as she heard the word ‘piggyback,’ she started jumping up and down in excitement.

"Hehe, yes, yes! I like piggyback rides.”

I smiled and lifted So-Yeon up. I piggybacked her and walked around the passenger terminal. We talked about things we hadn’t had the chance to talk about and made memories that we would never be able to make again.

As we wandered around, I hid my emotions and hoped that So-Yeon would remember these sights that we were seeing together for a long time to come.

My daughter, So-Yeon.

So-Yeon, my pretty daughter, who I missed even while we were together.

I was afraid that she would catch on to the fact that we would be parting ways if I said I loved her out loud, so instead, I thought to myself,

‘So-Yeon, Daddy loves you a lot.’

1. Gonggi is a Korean children’s game that is played with five or more small pebbles or plastic stones. It is similar to Jackstones.