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Chapter 26.2 You and Mine, the Alcohol (2)

“…. That’s, because… it’s necessary for me to control myself, and I didn’t let it go too far… … since this is happening, please forgive me for saying this, but my Lady, you are overlooking something.”

The lips that had been mumbling and the eyes that had been trembling, suddenly stopped. Kaid opened his mouth with a determined feeling. I was pondering over the words he just said. Hmm, “overlooking”. I didn’t think of it like that before.

“That’s right… I’m sorry. I have said it before, but recently I’ve been saying it again. In the past it’s rare for me to be able to talk to anyone, and even now I still like that…. Thus, I’m happy. Of course I’m happy talking to Caron and the others, but talking with you like this makes me tremendously happy.”

“M-my lady.”

“Kaid, All of the people in the territory are looking at you, their eyes are always sparkling, it’s very beautiful. Although you were being stared at by so many eyes, you were always looking dignified…. So, umm… I know that you always have to restrain yourself, but please, I hope that you can also get used to being stared at by me… can’t you?”

“It’s impossible!”

I felt dejected by his forceful response.

But after reconsidering what he said, It does seem unfair to constantly demand him to change. At the very least, I should also say “because I will also try as hard as possible”.

Although it may be a bit difficult, but… I should try to not stare at him so much.

Because I like Kaid so much, my love for him causes my gaze to follow him by all means. But, I think it’s the same way for Kaid, because our eyes always meet with each other. It has been like this, especially after both of us came back to the mansion.

Thus, we use our gaze to express the repressed feeling of love. Although, perhaps I should stop staring at Kaid so intensely, it’s unbearable (for me) to the point that I can’t hold back on staring at him because I like Kaid so much. It’s impossible to turn away my gaze and hide my love for him.

I wonder, what should I do? I was at a loss. There was no way in which I would not trouble Kaid.

I, who was at a complete loss, must have made a pathetic face, because Kaid became extremely flustered.

“My lady, I beg you, please don’t equate the stares of others to those of the people I cherish. It’s impossible for me to see them as the same thing, because I’m in love with you.”

Kaid said it with sincere eyes and voice. I didn’t even think to look for such things, but from his direct gaze and his tight grasp over my hands, I could tell that he was not lying. It was impossible for him to be lying, Kaid has always only given me the truth.

There’s no blindfolds to cover the malic, sadness, agony, and misery. Thus, he opened his feelings to me this way without pretense. My chest felt chaotic by his feelings being directed straight at me, however it was happiness that surged inside.

But, there was also a feeling of anxiety floating around.

I held back Kaid’s hand that was grasping mine. He raised his serious face, his golden eyes meeting mine, and a gentle heat began dancing around us. Despite him being an adult who carries a beautiful gaze, I am more anxious about when Kaid shows his childish expressions. I’m afraid that others might do something horrible to him because he’s too cute…

Despite him being an adult, I have always been concerned about him. But because he is someone who is such a successful feudal lord, I was hesitant to say too much. Up until now, I was unable to voice my concerns, but I thought that I should tell him properly once and for all.

“Kaid, you can’t. You shouldn’t be.”

“Yes?”

“You shouldn’t do cute things, and carelessly say such cute things. You’re a man so maybe you didn’t learn these things. However until recently, I have declared that I will never get married, perhaps it’s such a self-deprecating, but now… I’m able to say please marry me, so is it fine for the surroundings to realize such things, moreover realize that you’re the same way as me?”

Marriage and love are interconnected things for commoners, but for nobles, it is something one must never entertain too much.

Humans have desire, that is something that will not change whether you’re a commoner or noble. But, the direction of the desire also changes according to the position, especially for a noble. Although marriage is an issue between the man and woman, the family situations are prioritized over their feelings. Thus, it’s common for people’s feelings to become neglected when dealing with marriage, and sometimes leads towards the unpleasant direction of having and dealing with multiple partners (concubines and lovers). My parents taught me that I must convey love carefully, not because it’s something shameful or indecent, but because it needs to be carried out modestly.