gogo大胆啪啪艺术自慰

Volume 1 Chapter 14 Goodbye Shiyi

I disagree with that view. My unscrupulous shifu also strongly disagrees with it.

The most important attributes for martial art practitioners are their talent and disposition. Their comprehension skills aren’t the most important.

Through my many years of training, I’d say that being blessed with luck is the most important attribute.

Putting everything else aside, my sleazy shifu was able to make a name for himself in the martial world because he gifted my sect’s founder Hero Shen Zhou some cornflour when he was in a pinch. Hero Shen Zhou was deeply impressed as a result and took him in as a private disciple.

But to tell the truth, he didn’t actually gift him cornflour. He was actually stealing the cornflour when Hero Shen Zhou passed by and he thought he got spotted. So he decided to shar a portion with him to keep him silent…

Si Tuo is one of those people blessed with luck. She was using the Qilin Guards secret style, Qinlin’s Nine Character Formula. This was the first time Junior Shiyi and I saw this style, but it was well-known throughout the pugilistic world. We recognised it at first glance… Well, to be fair, it was Junior shiyi who pointed it out to me. I felt it was very familiar but I didn’t recognise the moves because I was never interested and it was my first time hearing of it.

As for Tang Ye…

This man was the real deal. His luck was superior to Si Tuo’s.

His twin palms style is remarkable. He countered all of Si Tuo’s attacks with his continually adapting style and even managed to sneak in a few moves.

Junior shiyi whispered to me the moves he was using: “Shan Xi Eight Probing Hands, Kunlun’s Three Gifted Palms, Tian Shan’s Nine Cloud Tiger Fists, the Imperial Family from Hebei\'s Pigua Quan. Incredible, that’s Shaolin’s Boluomi Finger Strike, Oh, and even Ming Jing Palace in Beihai\'s Wheel Flower Finger Style."

I felt stupid listening to her.

What ‘Secret Pineapple Juice’?*

I\'ve never heard of these styles.

Junior shiyi giggled and said: “You only know those ridiculous styles that nobody’s even heard of, so of course you don’t know these reputable styles.”

Hey! Are you saying shifu is some sort of dropout?!

I just remembered… He’s her nephew, so of course she’s able to talk down to him…

Shen Yiren gave Junior shiyi a surprised looked and said: “Not even I can recognise a single technique. That’s Ming Jing Palace’s Wheel Flower Finger Style?”

Junior shiyi responded with a smile and said: “His hand movements are really quick and the blend of martial arts is very complex. However, each technique has a source which it originates and is well-structured which makes him much more admirable. This proves that he has a solid understanding of each technique.”

A look of joy crept up Shen Yiren’s face as she said: “He knows so many styles… I want him!”

It’s only right, after all, Tang Ye has horseshoe triceps and his martial arts talent is quite profound. I bet he has an unscrupulous shifu and his master taught him martial arts starting from age eight. I’ll even bet the first manual he was taught was Yi Jin Jing…

Keke, Si Tuo’s Nine Character Formation is useless against Tang Ye. Forget thirty moves, fifty moves would still be a cake-walk for him. Not only is Si Tuo unable to take the lead, but she’s also been in danger several times.

Tang Ye wasn’t taken in by her beauty. Forget the old man that I am, he’s just a twenty-two year old young man. I can’t believe his ability to resist temptation is so strong.

Miss “Fucking Bitch’s” clothes were in a mess since her tussle with Shen Yiren, so now that she’s in another fight with Tang Ye, she had a fairly sexy appearance and her hair was in a mess. She liked to dress in loose-fitting clothes, which was now even looser… Even her shoulders were revealed. There was plenty of eye-candy.

Si Tuo recognised her predicament and decided to forfeit, resulting in a draw.

“Vice-captain Shen, I’ve cross-examined your recruits, and this guy seems to be the only worthy one.”

That’s a line reserved for losers, Miss “Fucking Bitch”.

Shen Yiren paid no heed to Si Tuo and was occupied with joyfully shaking the hands of her new subordinates. She looks surprisingly friendly when she’s acting friendly.

But just a heads up, I think you revealed your true nature when you dished out that beating…

Si Tuo stomped her foot and said: “We Qilin Guards won’t let this go. I won’t let your assault on me go just like that! You… You said your name was, Tang Ye, right?”

Tang Ye Bowed and said: “That is correct.”

Si Tuo held her eyes on Tang Ye’s face for a while before said: “Okay, I’ll remember you.” Miss Si Tuo then left. She walked out in a very reserved and modest manner. Had her clothes not been torn in those three areas…

Although it was officially declared a draw, no matter how you look at it, it was clearly the Qilin Guards’ loss.

First win… Bashing her brain into retardation, courtesy of Miss Shen.

Second win… She got her momentum destroyed and her clothing ruined, courtesy of Miss Shen.

Credits go to those unnamed.

That’s 2:1! Shen Yiren completely owned.

But since these people will be my future superior and colleagues, I’ll stay silent. Amitabha, don’t look for me…

Shen Yiren clasped her hands together while she surveyed us with a smile and nodded her head with satisfaction, and said: “I’ll accept all those who lasted more than five moves against that fucking bitch. But you must all work hard. Will you agree to start working your way up from the bottom?” When they heard this, half of the people present reacted with surprise. Of those who fought with Si Tuo, over half of them lasted more than five moves. They’ll have to start from the bottom, but hey, it’s basically the same as having set one foot into Liu Shan Men.”

Miss Shen then used her finger wearing her transparent jade to point to a few people.

"Su Xiao, Tang Ye, and you… Ming Feizhen. I’m recruiting all of you right here and now. You three are official constables of Liu Shan Men starting from today.”

Huh? Wasn’t I recruited by default? Are you telling me I have to go through the whole process? I don’t want to be stuck with Su Xiao and Tang Ye. I stood between Su Xiao who was on my left, and Tang Ye to my right. An old man like myself was surrounded by two suave young men.

I don’t know why I suddenly felt a sense of indignation…

Shen Yiren looked at the three of us standing by her side. She touched her chin and said: “Not bad! We’ll be counting on you three from now.” What did she mean by that? Before I could get a grasp on what she meant, she already began ordering around like underlings.

“What are you all standing there for? Sign the contract.”

Without moving my body I turned my head around to look at Junior Shiyi, only to find that she was looking at me too. Her face went red when our eyes met and she looked down. I didn’t know what that implied, but I felt a sense of pity. I silently muttered with my lips: “Gu… Junior shiyi, I’ll be on my way now. I won’t…be coming back.” It felt so hard to say those words to her. I’m lucky I didn’t say that aloud or my voice would’ve sounded hoarse.

"……"

Junior shiyi who loved to smile was silent. She knew I never liked Mount Daluo, don’t like the responsibility of leading a sect and didn’t like the life offered by the pugilistic world. This day was bound to come sooner or later, but I always brushed it off. Now that it’s come though, I really don’t want to leave. Junior shiyi made some small movements with her lips and then quickly left. The view of her back looked small and thin, like she was sad after being abandoned.

I wanted to give chase, but my legs felt so heavy. I knew that if I chased her, I’d never come back here. And if I did chase after her, what would I be able to do?

Junior shiyi left me with one word upon her departure… Traitor.

I don\'t have the guts to chase her, and I can’t chase her. I had a vague idea about some things, and Junior shiyi was hiding some things, but we both pretended to be oblivious. We were afraid of tearing down that paper-wall between us. She’s a senior. She’s two levels higher than me in terms of seniority… What can I do?

Junior shiyi had left for a good while I was sighing pointlessly.

Shen Yiren sighed and said as she watched Junior shiyi leave: “Whoa, she’s gone already? Her eldest nephew must’ve died terribly.”

I angrily shouted: "What the hell are you saying?!"

Shen Yiren tilted her head in confusion and asked: "Isn\'t that what you told me?"

"……"

Okay, I did fucking say that……

Shen Yiren muttered to herself: “Weirdo.” Then she said to the three of us: “Follow my younger brother to get the contracts signed. Then get your uniforms sorted.”

Then her younger “sister” stepped out and said with a smile: “Please follow me.”

“Okay.”

Wait.

Even though my goodbye with Junior shiyi was filled with sadness, I still couldn’t stop this strange omen coming on.

What did I just hear?

“Younger brother?”

Shen Yiren scanned me from head-to-toe before glaring at me and asking: “What else? You don\'t have one?”

Holy sh*t! She’s a trap!

“No, I mean, where’s your esteemed younger brother?”

Her younger "sister" looked at me with her cute-large eyes and said: “I’m right here.”

Who’re you?

Where?

I looked at the cute girl in front of me and felt like I just walked into a forest of fog.

“This girl is your brother? She’s… Your younger brother?”

I felt like a retard repeating myself, but seriously, I felt like my IQ hit a wall at that moment.

Tang Ye asked me in a direct fashion: "What\'s wrong? Did you mistake Master Kuang for a girl?"

"Umm…."

What he said combined with my hesitation caused Shen Yiren’s younger “sister” to turn red right away. He looked down and mumbled under his breath: “Did you mistake me… did you… mistake me for a…”

Tang Ye said: “He’s a guy.” Then he took my hand and placed it on “her’ chest. I could feel the disappointing wall, a layer of luxurious clothing, a layer of soft muscle, a traps… Fuck.

"She\'s" a guy?!

Su Xiao looked at me as though he couldn’t compare. What the hell are you looking at?! You’re no better than him is! Before I could return to the present, the hall had exploded.

“Hmph! Beast!”

“If you dare touch my dick, I’ll cut yours off!”

“You disgraceful excuse for a human being!”

“You sicko!”

“Holy sh*t, he\'s after men too!”

“I wouldn’t even pay him one-hundred silver ingots!”

In a single instant, I became the target of all the hate, curses and the most despised person around.

But what completely destroyed me, was when Shen Kuang went into a daze with his read face, grabbed his chest, shrieked and then ran off… Yes, he ran off…

My brain froze up from information-overload.

The cause of all this, Tang Ye looked at me confused and asked: "Why do they hate you? Did you not clean your hands after using the bathroom?"

Shut up man!

As soon as his oblivious remark left his mouth, another negative comment was attached to my list of negative reviews…

Could someone please tell me how to correct this situation?!

Notes:

*波罗蜜指 VS菠萝蜜汁 Same pronunciation, but different characters which give completely different meanings.