gogo大胆啪啪艺术自慰

Volume 10 Chapter 42 Feizhen’s Depressing Nanjiang History Exam

“Shut up. Who is Emperor Taizong?”

“Easy. Emperor Taizong married this chick named Dou Yifang and allied with Sun Quan to unite the six states. Unfortunately, his son was a loser and lost to Liu Bang, so he had to flee to Wu River, only to encounter an assassin, Fan Zhongyan, who took his indignant life in one slash!”

“I’ll take your dead brain in one slash!” As he clouted me, Shifu questioned, “Who is Li Shimin? Who taught you that nonsense?”

“What connection does Emperor Taizong of Tang have to do with Li Shimin?! What sort of question is that?!” And, I tried to beat Shifu, only to be hung up as his punching bag.

Later on, I learnt that Hong Jiu, out of spite, pulled apart my book and put it back together in the wrong order. How do you expect me to keep up with him when he did that? You have no idea how much I regretted trying to fight Shifu after I fixed my book and learnt Emperor Taizong is Li Shimin…

I burnt the midnight oil to relearn what I got wrong and finally passed with a C-. I’m still not satisfied, though. Who did Fan Zhongyan kill at Wu River, then? Why did Shifu never answer me? Why does he threaten to hit me every time I ask?

So, bear in mind I’m sharing this knowledge of Nanjiang based on the little information I gleaned.

Nanjiang worships the sun… No, I think they worship birds. Or not? Can I digress for a second? I didn’t believe in god from a young age, so I’ve always wondered how birds can have human offspring. Like, do humans in Nanjiang hatch from eggs? This is why I lean towards them worshiping the sun.

Nanjiang, land of the seven-coloured divine bird emblem, enjoys nature as pure as it comes. Because they believe it to be the sun’s (bird) land, their people call Nanjiang “Xiacang Anxi”. In their archaic language, that means “land of the sun’s descendants”.

Five hundred years ago, Beussent’s sovereign, remembered for capturing every troop the Central Plain sent after them, was summoned to hell when they were about to commence their incursion into the Central Plain. Upon hearing of their father’s demise in Nieyao City overnight, his twelve sons raced back to start their fight for the throne, splitting the once united country into twelve. At this point in time, there are only eleven left as Morcher is no more.

Although I’m not sure where Baimu got its name from, I do remember it being a dangerous place. Plenty of places in Nanjiang are still primitive, but Baimu is famous for being a tourist attraction that even Black and White Reflection recommended at one stage.

… Now I know why this envoy looks like he’s on holiday. Collaborating with Autumn Water Sword Sect must be the icing on the cake…

“Please take a seat.” Acting close, I inquired, “Um… Does your sun god have a bird?”

Whoa, Young Shiyi, relax. Why you look like you want to stick a knife in me?

I broached a different topic: “Has he… been well? Send our greetings to your King.”

“His Majesty has been well and also sends his greetings to Matriarch Qiu, wishing her good health and eternal youth.”

Well, a man who knows how to greet a lady, eh?

When Young Shiyi came back after sorting out the two assassins, I ordered, “Qiuk-, S-Sis, br-bring our guest a cup.”

Young Shiyi pulled her hand away from my rib and poured Wu Ba a cup of tea. “We bought these tea leaves from Jiangnan. It cannot compare to the pure taste of your springs, but it does have its uniqueness. Please have a try. Don’t you agree,” Young Shiyi winked at me, “Sister?”

Wu Ba’s eyes enlarged to the size of dinosaur eyes.

Meanwhile, Young Shiyi giggled and explained, “All of our members are women. My sister, being devoted to her job as she is, trained until she resembles a man. She is actually a woman.”

Is this revenge for naming you Qiuku?! I didn’t mean it. It’s not my fault you didn’t finish. You better pray he believes such a blatant fib!

Wu Ba commended my dedication with his thumb: “The Central Plain’s culture truly is profound!”

Now why would you believe her?! What part of me resembles a woman?!

“Hohoho, that’s a stark contrast to girls in Baimu. Girls in Yangchiu are compared to gorillas for their strength. Men in Nanjiang love strong women, so I’ve always looked forward to paying a visit.” Wu Ba eyed me and added, “You’re not bad!”

Shut up! I’m a man! I can’t believe there’d be a day where I have to say Su Xiao’s catchphrase! Is this karma for making fun of him? I’m sorry, Su Xiao!

To escape the mire, I voiced, “Mr. Wu Ba, as a disclaimer, we are not suspecting you. We do want to discuss the details, however.”

“What do you feel needs to be reworked? Matriarch Qiu has approved! Making alterations now will not work in anyone’s favour and damage our relationship! It is a bad idea!”

“Hmm, that’s a valid point. Still, our matriarch isn’t happy with our remuneration.”

“Still not? We’ve shown as much sincerity as we can show!”

I pretended to deliberate and then lure him into disclosing their negotiation when he exclaimed, “Miss Qiuyi, I can hook you up with any man from Nanjiang of your choice! I promise you will be satisfied!”

I’d rather your head than a man! I don’t want a man at all, you included!

Young Shiyi conveyed, “Do you mind explaining how you have shown your sincerity? In my opinion, I also feel our matriarch got the short end of the stick.”

“Do not think like that, Miss Qiuku!” Oblivious to the fact that Young Shiyi nearly busted his head open, Wuba expounded, “Let me clarify so that we don’t have any misunderstandings. According to the agreement between my King and Matriarch Qiu, we shall offer you half of our annual taxes as compensation as long as you can kill Heisina.”

Using Voice Transmission, Young Shiyi told me, “There has to be more to it.”

I replied, “I wonder if that equates to three hundred thousand taels.”

Young Shiyi expressed disillusionment with her gaze.

Given Baimu was willing to pay such an exorbitant sum to an organisation I had only heard of today, it was safe to assume that the mission was risky and difficult. In addition, Baimu trusted Autumn Water Sword Sect to an extreme degree for some reason.

Stressing out because of our silence, Wu Ba said, “As a small nation, that is all we can offer. Miss Qiuyi, I can offer you men! Miss Qiuku, I c-”

“Let’s just leave it as it is in that case, okay?!”

Wu Ba couldn’t contain his jubilance despite being told to put a sock in it: “Do you know what’s in my sack?”

It was hard not to notice Wu Ba’s sack when he came in; I was just too focused on trying to think of a name to investigate further.

“… Three hundred thousand taels?”

Young Shiyi wrenched my skin at my rib: “It’s clearly a person, greedy sis.”

“It’s not money. It’s a person,” Wu Ba confirmed, opening his bag.

The eighteen year old girl inside was still asleep. While she had the features of girls from the Central Plain, her light tan and risqué clothing weren’t.

“She is…”

Wu Ba smiled: “She is Heisina Duohua.”

“Duohua? Her name is, uh… Who tore the flower?”

Glossary

“Easy. Emperor Taizong married this chick called Dou Yifang and allied with Sun Quan to unite the six states… - This man combined crossed the time barrier (Tang Dynasty to Three Kingdoms to…) to travel across different dynasties of China to run into people from different eras. In other words, Ming Feizhen just wrote a transmigration novel.

Fan Zhongyan - a Chinese poet, politician, philosopher, writer, and military strategist during Song Dynasty. Ming Feizhen is asking how a man from Song Dynasty transmigrated several centuries in the past, killed a man from Tang Dynasty at the location Xiang Yu committed suicide (not assassinated) during the Chu-Han Contention, and did so when he hasn’t been trained to.

Heisina Duohua - Duohua is translated as “flower”. “Si” in “Heisina” sounds the same as “to tear” in Mandarin. When pronouncing her full name, it’s somewhat similar to saying, “Tear the flower” in Mandarin. Obviously, trying to parse a foreign language doesn’t help.