gogo大胆啪啪艺术自慰

Volume 10 Chapter 79 I’m Dead Serious

“Mayhap the thirty-seventh generation patriarch of Mount Daluo will restore their image as heroes, as well as put them on the map, once again.” - Black and White Reflection’s Four Biggest Secrets: Six Evils Section.

***

I woke from my sleep when I heard my carriage’s wheels again. Riding all the way to Nanjiang in a carriage was a luxury. I wiped the grease from chicken drumsticks at my mouth with the tablecloth and shouted, “Where we at now?”

Wu Ba, outside the carriage, answered, “We entered the state’s borders a while ago. We will arrive in an hour, Sir.”

“Keep going. Don’t look back.”

Young Shiyi headed off to rendezvous with Boss first, while Heisina Duohua escorted her clansmen home. I needed to have a word with Martial Paragon; I had to travel alone, regrettably.

I’m telling the truth. I shed tears of joy every time I think about how much freedom I had. How would you like to be the sacrifice when Young Shiyi and Boss couldn’t agree with each other? My opinion should dominate, you say? It must be your first day here. I didn’t have any say when they were involved!

I leaned back on my cushioned backrest. Admittedly, the thought was toxic.

“Sir Central Plain, we will soon arrive. Are you going to follow us in, like this?”

Wu Ba, bitter over being fooled, asked me if I lied about being a woman because he wasn’t educated and hinted to me he had a lot of cash stashed away. Nonetheless, I beat him all three times until he was docile. I mean, a fourth attempt on me would be his last ever. That said, he copped another beating from Young Shiyi for calling her Qiuku, so he now called her “Grandaunt” and me “Sir Central Plain”.

“You sound like you’re in a pretty decent mood, huh? I knocked the socks off your superior and assassins, not to mention releasing your captives, yet you look jolly.”

“Wahahaha!”

“What the hell did you laugh so loud for?!”

Wu Ba softened his voice: “Ah Su is only good at bullying those beneath him, so I have always been subjected to his bullying. I would have kicked him over the moon sooner or later even if you did not beat him.”

I pretended to understand Wu Ba prior to figuring out he meant to say “kick him into next week” and that he used “over the moon” incorrectly so that he wouldn’t know I was close to illiterate.

“Your way of using Mandarin is too flowery. When you want to use figure of speech, just say, ‘freaking insert whatever.’ When you need idioms, just switch them to, ‘Motherflipping insert whatever.’”

“I am grateful for the advice. Mandarin’s sayings truly are based on wisdom. You say, ‘Three people, uh, three people, uh…’”

“Nobody is doing anything with you, so get out!”

“You are right. That said, about what you just asked…”

“Oh, I have business at your royal palace.”

“Understood.”

While I relaxed on the pilgrimage, I never dropped my vigilance. Even though I knew I was going to meet Young Shiyi on the way to the capital from Huzhou and had her accompanying me from Huzhou to Najiang, I never smiled genuinely. Not once.

The first time I heard Shifu mentioned Six Evils, I looked away and grumbled under my breath, assuming he was telling another tall tale. I got kicked onto my back for it, but I digress. Only when I stood face to face against one did it dawn on me that there was an insurmountable wall for humans.

Young Shiyi didn’t play around with me during our journey to make up for lost time but also to raise my spirits as she knew what opinion I had of Six Evils. Thanks to her, my mind wasn’t clouded.

Ever since accepting Emperor Yuansheng’s request to slay Six Evils, I was stressed out because no strategy would allow me to win on my own. I was hoping we could find a way to reduce our death toll by even one. The most optimistic outcome I could see based on our current forces was, all my secrets being exposed and becoming a wanted criminal. Mount Daluo’s six disciples would make it out alive, but half of us would be cripples, and four of us would never recover for a decade. Liu Shan Men’s only survivor would be Boss Shen. Qilin Guards, Emperor’s Entourage, Evil Spirits, Luo Sword Manor and Xiuyu City’s military would be tributes to history. Luo Ming would forfeit his life. Abels would need seven years of recuperation before he could fight again. I couldn’t even imagine what the worst case scenario would be. Rather, I didn’t want to imagine it.

I only fought one of Six Evils once. Technically, it was only one of its offspring. Never had I been so intimate with death.

I never understood what Mount Daluo’s founders were thinking until that encounter. That might should never be allowed into this world and never given a chance to grow. The only way you could put up a fight against them was if you embraced fear and fought with the resolve to go down with it if it came down to it. Use every “cheat” you have. Use all the power you have. Use everything at your disposal. Every extra Divine Realm adept in your squad will reduce the death toll considerably. The last point was my chief reason for visiting Baimu. I’m always dead serious!

Wu Ba pulled over: “Sir Central Plain, we have arrived.”

“Yeah?”

I brushed open the curtain to see Baimu’s resplendent palace walls.

Wu Ba hopped off his horse and jogged over to me: “Please hop off. The rules in the palace forbid anyone from standing up so high. Besides great guyas, everyone else must enter the palace in a bowing posture.”

“I want to see Martial Paragon. Can you take me to him?” I outright ignored Wu Ba’s behest.

“Y-you want to see Martial Paragon?!”

“Can you take me to him?”

“Y-yes, but we will need His Majesty’s permission and to set an appointment with Martial Paragon. It may take a while…”

“Figures.”

“Hey, what are you two doing?” The leader of the pair of guards drew his machete on me and blathered something in Nanjiang-nese that I didn’t understand. “Get off the carriage!”

“Can’t you tell? Storming into your palace.”

“No, no, no, we are not. This is a misunderstanding. He is my guest.” Wu Ba obviously wanted no part of criminal activities. “Sir Central Plain, what are you freaking doing?”

Fast learner, I see.

“I need to see Martial Paragon today. I’m just going with the express route.”

The guard switched to Mandarin since I spoke Mandarin. “Lord Wu Ba, even if he is your guest, he must ask for permission from His Majesty first if he wants to enter, let alone standing up so high.”

A guard pointed his blade at me: “Here, only the strong have the right to stand above others. If you don’t come down, I’ll skin you alive.”

“In other words,” I glanced down to the guard without moving my neck,” the weak should be crawling on all fours here?”

“What was that?!”

“Kneel.”

The guards on both rows slammed their knees into the ground. Just as every time I cast the technique, the guard looked at me bewildered - and scared.

There was no quicker way to gain respect in Nanjiang when might made right in their culture.

In a deeper voice, I stated, “None of you are worthy of speaking to me.”

I lowered my head to lock eyes with the trembling guard. To scare him even more, I breathed down his neck and demanded, “Summon Martial Paragon. I have business with him.”

Having heard “Martial Paragon”, the guard changed his tone right away. “M-may this one ask for your name? He shall report in.”

“Tell him,” I narrowed my eyes and paused to add some coolness, “Central Plain’s Jiang Zhouzi has arrived.”

Glossary

“Your way of using Mandarin is too flowery. When you want to use figure of speech, just say, ‘freaking insert whatever.’ When you need idioms, just switch them to, ‘Motherflipping insert whatever.’” - One thing I cannot account for is how vast the variations of their Chinese equivalents are. While “freaking” can cover an array of usages, it just can’t compare to the Chinese version. For instance, “your sister” can mean “f-word you”, but it still can mean “your sister”. “Your mom”, “Your grandpa”, “Your grandfather”… can all also mean “f-word you”.

Jiang Zhouzi - Deliberately modified syntax of “Braised pork shoulders in soy sauce” to have a Chinese name format.