gogo大胆啪啪艺术自慰

Volume 11 Chapter 12 Flying Guardian. Confusion and Panic.

“Fly-flying human? What is that?” stuttered Yangyang’s father.

Whilst feeling the feedback of Iron Guardian’s muscle contractions on my fingertips, I pointed to him. “Watch my attendant closely.”

Once I had everyone’s attention on Iron Guardian, I flexed my index finger up ever so slightly, sending Iron Guardian into the ether without him telegraphing it! He resembled a four year old kid over the tallest tree in the village.

I did call it flying, but it actually resembled Iron Guardian being launched into the firmament. A villager who made the distinction cast his gaze back to my finger. “He’s not flying! His Majesty is making him fly!”

Their astonishment, or suspicion, didn’t bother me. I drew a small circle with my index finger in the air, and Iron Guardian flew a lap in the same direction I drew the circle.

The villagers all knew what qinggong was. Even among bandits, there were elite martial artists. At the end of the day, nonetheless, the most advanced qinggong was still only qinggong. Moving around in the sky for a prolonged period wasn’t achievable using qinggong regardless of how skilled one was. Accordingly, there could only be one explanation, and I could see from their reactions that they had drawn that card - a miracle.

“Watch closely.” I started writing “three,” “four,” “five,” while Iron Guardian wrote them against the charcoal canvas, inciting laughter amongst the children. “I’m still going.”

I went through the character “mouth”, then “river”… all the way until I finished Lantingji Xu. By the time I was done, the villagers only had admiration for me and laughter whenever they looked back at Iron Guardian frothing at the mouth.

If my eyes didn’t lie, several villagers contemplated if Iron Guardian would be mincemeat once he returned to the ground so that they could make a meal out of him. That was when I coiled my index finger to kill Iron Guardian’s momentum, effectively dropping him. Adults covered the kids’ eyes, while some closed their own eyes. I was right, by the way: some of them pulled out pots…

Iron Guardian continued to accelerate to the ground, suggesting he was going to create a massive crimson bouquet on the ground until I… caught him as though he was a feather.

“This is child’s play to me,” I remarked. “If I tell you that you will be saved, you will be saved.”

The villagers finally showed us the tears that were cried beneath what the rest of the world pretended they didn’t see. I doubt it was attributed solely to my exhibition but a sense of security that compelled them to trust me with their feelings. Even my two hundred minions cried. I could understand why. Some of them came from villages challenged with the same ordeals.

The only person who didn’t cry was Hong Jiu. Instead, he mumbled, “Crazy! I had no idea Leader had this skill up his sleeve! I keep setting traps for him every day. What if I’m the next victim to fly in the sky? I’m scared…”

Well, that was just Hong Jiu being Hong Jiu.

I wasted no time telling my followers to distribute the rations we received from the previous village to this village - in addition to sending a few kids off to hunt. I hadn’t had enough of Nanjiang’s roast meat yet, so why not curb my craving?

Although the villagers were grateful for the offerings, their respect was no longer a sense of fear of the unknown but rather heartfelt gratitude.

The village kids kept asking me to perform Flying Human again, which took me back to the main problem: how was I going to make it rain? I had no answer for the question. I couldn’t have Iron Guardian fly every time something came up. Even if he could manage, I wasn’t immune to exhaustion. Plus, it didn’t solve squat.

“… We cannot make it rain,” Wood Guardian whispered to me.

“What?”

“We… do not actually have the ability to make it rain… We cannot summon rain. We can only predict when it will rain…”

“… Can you elaborate?”

“We merely predict when it will rain and then go to the village suffering a drought. Our predictions have a margin of error of ten days, but it will rain. Thanks to numerous correct predictions, people began to believe we can summon rain.”

Why the hell didn’t you tell me sooner?! I’ve been anticipating something all this time! This is just the same crap Grandmaster pulls!

“To summarise, you’ve never been able to make it rain?”

“No… We did not calculate it since His Eminence does not allow us to help you, so…”

Ol’ Ge, you’re flying next!

“Who predicts the rain? Get him to calculate when it’ll rain now.”

“He… would be White Cleric.”

So he’s not a useless character but a useless-weather-predicting character.

“All right, I’ll go make him work.” I stopped in my tracks after my first step. “Why are you suddenly helping me?”

“Who’s helping you?” Iron Garden’s cheeks started to look a little warm. “I’m helping the villagers… They’re our followers.”

Tsk, tsk, tsunderes.

I had only resumed walking again when a cold air arrow blew against my neck. I followed the direction it was fired to spot a muscular man bolt out from the bushes, big broadsword raised. Forget his incredible speed or the skull necklace he had. I never detected him at all when he was so close.

The jacked man’s first target was Wood Guardian’s neck!

Glossary

Lantingji Xu - Literally, “Preface to the Poems Collected from the Orchid Pavilion”. It’s a Chinese calligraphy work generally considered to be the work of famous calligrapher Wang Xizhi from the East Jin Dynasty. I say “generally considered” as none of his original works are still around. Works claiming to be his are subjects of controversy for their authenticity.