gogo大胆啪啪艺术自慰

Volume 12 Chapter 08 Song Ou’s Comeback

“So you’re saying you weren’t avoiding me because you were afraid of getting hit?”

I pulled my brows together. “Boss, your words rile me up. How can you be so presumptuous?”

And so accurately presumptuous?!

Boss hiked up a corner of her lips. “I prepared you to accept His Majesty’s rewards, and the first thing you said was ‘Fangzhang’. Next thing we know, you’re spouting some incomprehensible nonsense. The guards had to step up twice. I might as well have smeared my own face with mud. You want some bruises for decoration?! Huh?!”

I mumbled, “My nerves disconnected my brain and mouth…”

“Idiot!” Boss puffed up her cheeks. “That was your moment. You were the main star. I spent so much energy praising you to Uncle. Had you played your cards right, you could’ve recouped some of your investment in Nieyao, but, no, you didn’t get a single coin back.”

The events at Nieyao weren’t much of a secret anymore - at least, Mount Daluo’s team knew all about it. That said, Boss was the only one who knew what I went through. If I wasn’t wrong, that was when she set her mind on trying to maximise my rewards for my sake.

“Leave that sort of stuff up to fate. Besides, it’s not like I’m in a bad position at all. If nothing else, I’m a radish now.”

Boss’ cheeks inflated, but she immediately brought them under control to keep a straight face.

“As well, uh… if you do not back off a little, my eyes will die from pleasure.”

Boss wasn’t exactly very tall to begin with. Plus, she had her arm up on my head, so the holy artefacts I could almost feel my breaths on tested my patience and rationality. I’m Liu Xiahui’s reincarnation!

Boss looked down at me and, without blushing, responded, “Huh? So what? You don’t like rewards?”

I swear on my life I looked up faster than the speed of light. “Really?!”

Next, I got an inkstone tattoo on my face… Women are liars!

Boss cleared her throat as she returned to her seat. “I’ll settle the score with you later tonight. I intended to talk about something else.”

Rubbing my face, I asked, “Which is?”

“Uncle told me to stay behind after the banquet to have a word in private. Not only did he praise our office’s recent performance, but he also entrusted me with a few cold cases in addition to information on troublesome unorthodox factions in Jiangnan that his entourage have been monitoring. Evidently, he is giving us an opportunity to prove our worth.”

“Nothing surprising there. I mean, shouldn’t he trust our competence after all the events?”

“Hence, he wants me to find and assemble the Twelve Great Constables.”

“Oh?”

When Yan Shisan was still in power, the Twelve Great Constables were the chief force against Ximen Chuideng. Emperor’s Entourage was in charge of intelligence, but they operated off the grid a lot more than nowadays, where they even showed up in person to investigate as though they were trying to replace Liu Shan Men. If Qilin Guards didn’t subsume 60% of Liu Shan Men’s stragglers, they’d still be stuck defending the borders. Among the Twelve Great Constables, though, the majority of them chose to become hermits, like Xiao Huangquan.

Boss was told to “find” them and not “summon” them owing to the fact that the twelve departed in the first place due to disappointment in Yan Shisan. If they could be summoned, they wouldn’t have taken off in the first place.

Anyhow, His Majesty’s intention to give Liu Shan Men more power was written on the wall with this move. It was impossible for Liu Shan Men to be competitive as it stood since we lacked firepower and merits. If we checked those two boxes, he’d have a valid reason to give us more power.

“But that’s not what I want to mention. I can manage Liu Shan Men just fine when I have so many people. You, on the other hand… How are you going to manage the exam? If we were in the past, I wouldn’t be worried if it was a martial arts contest, but right now… Additionally, you don’t want to reveal your abilities. How do you fare at studying?”

“I guess you can say I’m familiar with Hundred Family Surnames, Thousand Character Classic and the sort.”

“I’m not playing. Daren Academy is the most advanced study faculty in our dynasty. They’re most well-known for making things hard for dropkicks and beating idiots. You have to report in to the faculty tomorrow. You have a plan in mind?”

What sort of place is it? It sounds like crap! Did a dropkick eat all your braised pork shoulders at home?!

“I will cross that bridge when I come to it.” I scratched my head. “I may fail at everything, but taking advantage of situations is something I excel at. I’ll roll with the punches for a few days and then figure something out.”

“Well, there isn’t an alternative. All that said, I must stress that there are lots of people you shouldn’t accost there. They themselves may not be dangerous, but the people backing them are the imperial court’s politicians. As a representative of Liu Shan Men and Mount Daluo, you need to tread carefully.”

“Huh? So if a rich playboy bullies, me th-”

“Lay him out! To hell with him!”

“…”

Boss cleared her throat upon realising her face was feeling hot. “I never said to take everything lying down. When it matters, you have to fight back.”

“Boss, you sound familiar with the place. Have you been there?”

Boss wagged her hand. “I studied at Qiyuan, Daren Academy’s primary competitor. My dad is also an alumnus of Qiyuan. He didn’t let me attend Daren Academy because he reckoned it’s a complicated place.”

Sheesh, I never knew advanced education was so complicated. Now I’m worried about my future.

“Oh, one more thing.”

“There’s still more?”

“Nothing major, but you should still be aware. A fight took place at Daren Academy recently, and it’s been blown up enough to reach Uncle’s ears.”

***

One particular courtyard of Liu Shan Men starkly contrasted the celebrations taking place elsewhere across Liu Shan Men. Except for the current era, the captain’s courtyard would have the most personality and noise as it was where all attention was directed.

“Hmph!” Song Ou hammered his table, making himself cough on the dust he propelled into his own nose. “Nobody has cleaned my office in the six months I’ve been gone? It’s all because of him. Everything is because of him!”

Ever since Ming Feizhen joined, the world Song Ou presided over changed. People didn’t crowd around Song Ou when they returned from the south. The Liu Shan Men representatives Emperor Yuansheng summoned were Ming Feizhen and Shen Yiren. Nobody reported in to him when he returned to the office. When he sent someone to go find out what was going on, he learnt Ming Feizhen went to Shen Yiren’s room.

“You’ve worn my tolerance dry.”

Someone quietly entered Song Ou’s room. “Captain, you have received a letter from Long Estate.”

“Open it.”

Once he read the letter, Song Ou laughed heartily, much to the bafflement of the individual who delivered the letter. He chucked the letter onto the table, then slammed the table again.

Cough! Cough! Cough!

Despite his face being caked in dust, Song Ou asserted, “… Ming Feizhen, this time, I’ll make sure you’re finished!”

I am Liu Shan Men’s true captain! I, Song Ou, shall make my comeback!

Glossary

Liu Xiahui - You may know him as Zhan Huo, a governor of the District of Liuxia in the Lu State. He was said to be a man of eminent virtue and supposedly once held a lady in his arms without the slightest imputation on his moral character, like yours truly.

Hundred Family Surnames - You may also recognise it as Bai Jia Xing/Hundreds of Chinese Surnames. As the title suggests, the text composed of common Chinese surnames. It was one of the texts - almost universally - used to teach character recognition to children.

Thousand Character Classic - This, too, acted as a character recognition learning tool for children from the sixth century onward. Like “Hundred Family Surnames”, the passages are organised into four character, four line rhyming stanzas so that they’re easy to remember. You can consider them an equivalent to the alphabet song in English.