gogo大胆啪啪艺术自慰

As I strolled along the streets, I read the latest edition of Black and White Reflection whilst trying to predict what would happen next. Thanks to their recounts and what I heard at Liu Shan Men, I was able to finally fill in the blanks during my time held captive.

I had to tip my hat to Gongsun Chu for the mirage strategy. Had Tianhu not decided to play the long game and locate Fiends’ Genesis’ base, Gongsun Chu likely would’ve remained under the radar for another decade. What I couldn’t understand was what Gongsun Chu’s end game was. He should’ve expected The Ultimate Three to go after him when he pulled the stunt. Had Jingan and I not introduced unaccounted problems into his plan, what would’ve been his next moves? He should’ve been aware that killing Princes and members of the Seven Champion White Princes wouldn’t overturn the imperial court. If he didn’t realise any of those things, then he had no place challenging the imperial court. I wasn’t convinced he was that stupid.

Gongsun Chu had to have a backup plan. There was no way he was delusional enough to think he could destroy Li Dynasty in one fell swoop; a second person might’ve attempted that as Ximen Chuideng did, but that second person would never be Gongsun Chu. Otherwise, he wouldn’t still be alive after all his failures in the last century.

We needed to pinpoint Gongsun Chu’s original objective as, given his intellect, there was a high chance that his plans were continuing in spite of his absence. Moreover, there was no guarantee that he’d never return now. He possessed vast knowledge beyond our imagination, excelled with the brush as much as he excelled with a sword, and likely knew more secrets than we thought, so it’d be naïve to assume he had no means of recovering from serious wounds in a short time frame. That was not to mention he had the support of some perverted organisation. For all I knew, he could’ve very well returned one day and joined the group out for my head.

Did I mention there was no mistake that somebody was out for my life?

Shifu said, “Walk along a river and your shoes, socks, dress and undergarments will eventually get wet.” Although the description made it sound as though you were teasing girls in the water, nobody could deny that he was a true thug, which gave his teaching credibility.

Given how long I’d spent on both sides of the law, those who hated me, wanted to kill me for money, in addition to those who considered me a hindrance, were more than likely plotting my demise. Before worrying about old nemeses, Gongsun Chu’s lackeys were probably part of the party already. Would they have the guts to go after Tianhu? How about poor defenceless me? They already tried once; what was stopping them from trying again?

Yan Jiangnan’s old man was part of the unorthodox factions, and I happened to kill his eldest son. If he didn’t try to avenge his son, I’d have no respect for him. Of course, there was no way I’d know whether Yan Jiangnan would accompany his father.

If you added up all the people I smashed, touched and harmed, that was a lot. As for those purely after the prize money, I didn’t know how many there’d be, but there was certainly no shortage of those in that line of work within the capital. While the Qilin Guards had driven out a group that entered the capital recently, surely there should’ve still been five or so small mercenary groups. If the Qilin Guards had to screen them, then they had to be dangerous. As for those tucked away way out of sight, they might’ve stayed hidden, but I wasn’t confident I could handle them if they decided to take action. Worst of all, I couldn’t go into hiding until the exams and all that were over. Hence, my fastest solution was to find bodyguards.

Su Xiao and Tang Ye were the most ideal bodyguards. Plus, since they had improved considerably as of late, it was a good opportunity to put their learning into practice. Problem was, Su Xiao was focused on the academy idol contest, while Tang Ye was still nursing his injuries.

Whether it was the special exams, the bounty hunters Jingan arranged to come after me or the idol contest that Black and White Reflection wanted me to win, I’d have struggled even if I could fight at full capacity, let alone now.

Hmph, since you guys started it, don’t cry when I clap back.

***

Just as you finish pork shoulders bite by bite, troubles needed to also be solved one by one.

At the snap of a finger, I had two brilliant ideas to overcome the exams.

Option one: read for a few days and then, given my gifted talents and efforts, I’d come out on top. While I was a dropkick on Mount Daluo and dead last at Daren Academy, I believed I could take first place considering my top-notch aptitude. However, after reading “Analects” for a damn good while before realising I had the book upside down, I deemed option one not the best one.

Option two: cheat. To facilitate the strategy, I was waiting outside a modest, cultured, opulent manor.

The manor located amongst the homes of other officials in the capital was average in size – both residential area and land-size wise – but it stood out amongst the mansions of the other officials.

I followed the steward through several courtyards before I finally saw the man I needed to see. I rushed over to him and grabbed his hands.

They say shoot the horse down if you want to dismount the jockey and capture the leader if you want to capture the bandits. Therefore, if you want to cheat, you needed to strike at the head examiner first.

“My respects, Prime Minister. I have missed you so dearly. Let us head inside to talk.”

The touched prime minister responded, “Is this still my house?”

“No need to stand on ceremony, Prime Minster. Nobody said this was not your home.” I dragged Prime Minister Li inside, sat him down in the master’s seat and helped myself into a guest seat.

When his middle-aged wife came out to greet me, Prime Minister Li expressed, “This is Duke Ming and the student His Majesty entrusted to me.”

Lady Li, smiling, conveyed, “I hear a lot of positive things about you, but I have not had the chance to meet you. I now see that the praise is rightfully deserved.”

“It is an honour to meet you, Lady Li.”

Prime Minister had his son and granddaughter greet me before the two of us had some private space – although his wife stayed. He kept the conversation casual, never questioning the purpose of my visit, and I went along cordially.

“Ah, this old one is really getting old.” Prime Minister Li hit himself on the head and smiled. “An honoured guest is visiting, yet this old one didn’t tell anyone to prepare you a meal. My Lady, please tell the kitchen staff to prepare dinner. Duke Ming, please give this old one a moment. He remembers there were some leftover steamed corn breads from yesterd-”

I caught Prime Minister Li and said, “Prime Minister, it would be inappropriate to trouble you when this one is younger and your student.” I passed him a thick accordion that I took out from my shirt.

Prime Minister Li smiled. “This is?”

“This is the menu. You can just follow it.”

“Understood. My Lady, let the kitchen staff have the rest of the day off.” Prime Minister Li sat back down and glared at me, to which I chuckled, so he chuckled along. With a thumb up, he told me, “This one was right about you. You truly are as shameless as this old one.”

“This one has always aspired to be as perceptive as you.”

“Duke Ming, get to the point. Or are you planning on eating me into bankruptcy?”

I flicked up a thumb. “Before I descended the mountain, Shifu said everyone in the imperial court except for you should take a hike because only you could keep lead the country to prosperity. I can now say that I witnessed the greatness that he spoke of with my own eyes.”

Prime Minister Li chortled. “That was our progenitor’s words. Patriarch Ming has an admirable memory. This old one is useless now. They are too kind.” Stroking his beard, he then added, “It is about time you explained the purpose of your visit now, right?”

“I want to cheat in the exams.”

“My Lady, shut the doors!”

Lady Li shuddered, hurriedly shut the doors and told the servants to leave. Judging from her swift reaction and initiative, I was willing to bet it wasn’t the first time she’d had to put a lid on a secret discussion at the manor.

Despite the door getting shut and servants being shepherd away, Prime Minister Li still checked around prior to grumbling, “Duke Ming, it’s good to be frank, but you’re too frank here.”

“I am just cornered.”

“You’ve been excused of preliminary county exams and gone straight to the finals. Shouldn’t you be glad?”

“Why would that be something to be glad about?! If I could take part in the county exams, would I be worried about this? I would not even make the cut for the county exams.”

“Hohoho, everyone but you hopes to win the grand prize. How curious. Unfortunately, this old one cannot help you. Countless students study assiduously until they have grey hairs, even dreaming of passing in their dreams. This old one would be wronging them if he helped you.”

“I know. I know you will not help me change my name on my test paper or amend my paper. You just need to tell me the topics.”

“Amend your paper? You sure are daring. This old one will not help you with even one word. You are a constable of Liu Shan Men; you are trusted with maintaining order in the martial world. His Majesty is only entrusting civil tasks to you temporarily. He will eventually return you to the pugilistic world.”

You’re far too optimistic, Prime Minister. I think His Majesty will send me to the execution grounds after he sees my paper.

I expected to be rejected, so I cleared my throat before deploying my trump card.

“Prime Minister, you may not know, but a certain group of villains are targeting me.”