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Chapter 482: Chapter 438

"Izzy!" Jinn excitedly called out, running at me with arms wide open.

The girl was always eager to give everyone a hug.

I accepted, of course. "Helly, dear." I replied back.

A good portion of us were here at the moment, even Meridia despite her circumstances. The only ones absent were Raikou, Salem, and Venelana.

We were interrupted again as Wilhelm burst through the door, running to some far corner of the house. There were crashing sounds and sounds of things hitting walls when he bolted out again, holding more materials.

"....is he okay?" I finally asked.

"He is fine." Scáthach reassured me.

Just as she finished that, he stomped into the room again, eyes sweeping around. They landed on Jinn and he quickly grabbed the girl, threw her over his shoulder and ran away.

Jinn of course didn\'t mind and was laughing the entire time.

"Very well." I pursed my lips.

"He ran away with Medea earlier." Yasaka commented.

"You need not worry, he is merely being...." Artoria paused.

"A boy?" Scáthach offered.

"Yes, that is an apt way to explain it." She nodded.

"I feel out of the loop." I spoke.

"They just got back from Nuwa\'s Palace." Yasaka informed me.

"Yes?" I looked at her. "And I assume that is why we gathered? Nothing went wrong I hope? He has a record of getting into fights against powerful entities he meets."

"Surprisingly, nothing happened." Meridia gave a small snort.

"Our lover even brought back a few new toys." Yasaka stated. "One of which happened to be a magical flying pirate ship. Hence..." She swept her arm, gesturing to the surroundings.

Ah, that would certainly do it. "I can fill in the rest."

"Should we interrupt him?" Yasaka asked.

"No." Scáthach shook her head. "I enjoy seeing him having fun like this."

That\'s true....there was something pleasant about seeing just his genuine enthusiasm and joy he was expressing.

He came and went again, still utterly ignoring everyone and focusing single mindedly on whatever it is he was doing.

"I bet I can flash my tits and he won\'t even notice." Yasaka suddenly said.

Scáthach raised her eyebrow. "I will take that wager."

"Terms?"

"What do you desire?"

"Threesome."

Scáthach tilted her head. "Agreeable. However, If I win, you can only watch." She grinned.

"Oh, you bitch." Yasaka shared a similar amused look.

Two perverts....

Wilhelm came stomping up again, and quickly, Yasaka pulled down the hem of her kimono, letting her impressive bosom bounce free for everyone to see.

No one spoke any words, and Wilhelm just continued onwards.

"That boy is going to receive a beating." Scáthach said under her breath as he left the house again.

"I am....surprised." Artoria said softly, stealing glances at Yasaka\'s chest, flushing slightly.

I couldn\'t blame her, they were impressive and I found myself taking a glance or two as well.

"I\'m happy I won, but I\'m kind of conflicted that he didn\'t stop." Yasaka admitted. "Who\'s next? Izanami, how about you flash your tits, see if he\'ll stop?"

"Don\'t bring me into your perverted games." I huffed, making her just laugh.

"Meridia~" She said melodiously, looking at the unfathomable woman. "Do you think you can get him to stop?"

Meridia raised an eyebrow similarly to Scáthach. "Do you dare wager something with me?"

"If I win...." Yasaka considered. "I want to dress you up for a day."

Meridia seemingly did not expect that. Honestly, I expected something perverted once more.

"And If I win?" She asked.

"Well, I could always spend a day between your legs~"

"Hmph, so you wish to be rewarded for losing?"

"Oh~ You\'re funny." Yasaka grinned mischievously.

"The same as the previous bet." Meridia crossed her arms. "You are only allowed to watch and nothing else."

"You both are mean." Yasaka\'s ears flattened. "Fine, fine." She huffed.

"Very well, we have an accord." Meridia acknowledged. As Wilhelm approached again, she pulled up the hem of her dress, revealing her.....very beautiful legs.

And.....he completely ignored what was happening and went further into the back of the house.

Yasaka\'s smug grin was only equaled by the scowl shown by Meridia.

Before he could return, she put her leg up onto the side of the couch, pulling her dress up until there was very little left to the imagination.

Wilhelm walked back, almost to the door, until he stopped, turning around to look at us and his eyes landed on Meridia. He basically dropped what he was doing and ran to her.

"Oh, I see how it is, you ignore my boobs, but her legs are what gets your attention?" Yasaka said in mock offense.

"Huh, what?" Wilhelm looked around, holding Meridia tightly. "Is something wrong? Meridia suddenly shouted something into my head and I ran over."

Everyone stopped and looked at her.

Yasaka in particular narrowed her eyes. "You cheating bitch!"

Meridia, with all her splendor and immense power, looked away with an embarrassed flush.

Despite the wide spectrum of origins, and how different we all were....it felt very warm here.

@***@

Wilhelm POV

"I\'m confused at what\'s happening."

"Nothing." Meridia huffed.

"Just look forward to tonight." Yasaka shot a grin towards Scáthach.

I didn\'t know what was happening still, but whatever.

I let go of Meridia and then went to my other Goddess. "Izzy." I quickly hugged her.

"Hello." She said simply, but there was that hint of happiness to it. Even when she wasn\'t being very expressive, I\'ve come to be able to glean her emotions. "Did you have fun at Nuwa\'s palace?"

"I did." I nodded. "I got some neat stuff."

"....so I\'ve heard." Her lips thinned. "What dare I ask what will you do with a flying pirate ship?"

"Isn\'t it obvious?" I questioned. "Plunder some booty." I may or may not have put my hands on her plump rear.

"Cute." She said flatly, but she didn\'t get upset, so I took that as acceptance.

Not as cute as you.

"But I got some other things too." I said, reluctantly releasing her butt. "Got a cool spell that I\'ll need to figure out." I held up the scroll.

Izzy looked at it, taking it from my hands. She unfurled it, adjusting it from side to side as she read it. "I see, that should be decent."

Yup, it looked pretty good to me too. Even Scáthach thought it was a good pick.

Seemed like it had a high ceiling as well. In that, it was something I could use even against Gods if I practiced it correctly.

"And I got this." I handed over the other thing I picked up.

Izzy casually took it again, unfurled it but she immediately went stiff. ".....why do you have this?"

I may have let out a laugh at her response. "That\'s exactly the same response I gave Nuwa."

"What is it?" Yasaka asked, peeking over her shoulder.

"What an odd object." Meridia joined in, curiously looking at it up close.

"It\'s the God\'s Investiture List." I revealed.

Yasaka went silent for a second. "By that, do you mean the actual List, the one from the legends? The actual List that was hung in the Heavenly Courts and was used to appoint the Gods there? The same thing that defined an era of a whole region known as the Investiture of the Gods? That thing?"

"Yup."

"Okay, just checking." Yasaka sat down on the couch.

"I am unfamiliar with this object, even the knowledge bestowed upon me, I only know the name in passing." Artoria furrowed her brow. "What is the significance?"

"Its...." Izzy even stopped. "It\'s difficult to explain because it requires further going into details about how the workings of the Chinese Heavens and territory operate."

"I would also like to know, I\'m not particularly knowledgeable about this world." Meridia stated. "I can feel something strange from it. Like, a powerful object that lost its....spark? As if it no longer has a purpose to it. I don\'t quite know how to explain it."

"That actually hits the nail right on the head." Should I even be surprised that Meridia could see through its essence? "Okay, I\'ll do my best to explain."

Oh jeez, where to even start?

"Alright, let\'s start at the very beginning. China had its own...Primordial, for lack of a better term." That\'s the best way to describe it for people more familiar with Western Cosmologies. "You have Pangu, the Giant God that was born in the Chaos, just like the Greek Primordials, and even the ones who came before Izzy. Speaking of..." I glanced at her.

"They returned to their origins." Izzy said cryptically. "It is taboo to speak too deeply of their existence."

...ominous.

"Even if they are your parents?" Artoria tilted her head.

"They are not...." Izzy frowned. "We do not have that kind of relationship. I do not know how to explain it in mortal terms. They were not expressive like people, they were more....extensions of the primordial laws of the world. They had no emotions." She let out a breath. "Which, by extension, makes Pangu far different, but with a similar origin."

They looked back at me and I continued. "Pangu existed by himself. He became lonely." Or so the legends went. "I can\'t claim to know what happened, but according to the stories, he split the chaos, and separated Heaven from Earth, creating what is the basis for the Chinese Cosmology. In doing this, he sacrificed himself to breathe life into this new place. His body parts actually pop up in different forms, creating new entities and such. Particularly, one aspect of his will became known as the Heavenly Dao. The Heavenly Dao is.....you can think of it as an autonomous system that oversees the Chinese Cosmology. It\'s the reason why they have their own unique method of power even if it\'s derived from the same sources that are known across the world. This System rewards good, and punishes evil. It gives trials to those trying to ascend, and punishes those who fail. It treats everyone fairly within the rules it operates under. If a God commits heinous deeds, it will invoke a tribulation of punishment and provoke bad luck, that sort of thing. It\'s not omnipotent, but it\'s fairly close."

"That\'s being extremely broad in its explanation." Izzy interjected. "But it\'s also not incorrect. All the Gods, everything there is beneath the Heavenly Dao."

"How strong was this Primordial Deity?" Scáthach asked. "If you claim that merely his left behind will supports the modern Gods and sits above them."

That...was actually an interesting question.

"Don\'t know." I shrugged. "If I had to guess, at the very least, on par with Shiva." I think that was a fair estimate to say at a minimum he would exist at that level. "But we\'re getting off topic. So you have the Heavenly Dao, and thousands of years ago, many powerful people sprang up. Immortals became more common, and everyone still interacted with the mortals and the Mortal world. It wasn\'t even long after Humanity in the region sprang up and carved out their own foothold. Around this point, the Heavenly Court came into existence, and the Jade Emperor rose to his position. That\'s a whole other thing I\'m not going to get into. But suffice to say, there were very few Gods during this point and the Courts were nearly empty."

"Things started to go...wrong. You see, the Immortals and Demons and what-have-you started to fight. Things began to escalate, and chaos took hold. Innocents were suffering and dying every day and finally, it reached a point where the Heavenly Dao interceded. It sent down a tribulation as punishment for the wanton chaos and slaughtering of Mortals caused by the conflicts of Immortals. The Heavenly Dao created the God\'s Investiture List, giving it to the Jade Emperor at the height of the conflict. Both as punishment and for meritorious services, it forced the ones fighting into the positions of Godhood in the Heavenly court, suppressing them in part, but also filling in the missing spots to bring peace and stability to the place."

There was so much to cover, I don\'t think for a second I was doing it justice. It\'s like saying, Oh, the Second World War happened because of Hitler, and it was resolved because the Americans dropped a bomb on Japan, then add no other context.

"I can glean an understanding." Artoria nodded. "It was an object that facilitated the Positions of Godhood at its roots."

"That\'s a fair statement." Even if the Godly Positions there were a bit different than other places. They\'re more like....government positions, while still retaining the whole Godly Authority aspect.

But it doesn\'t matter, this information means very little to them than to just give some context.

"And why did you choose it?" Artoria asked. "You seemed intent the moment you saw it."

"I honestly can\'t answer that question." I said, looking at the list. "I just felt like it was something I should have."

"As interesting as this is, I am here to drop off the thing you asked of me." Meridia shifted topics. It wasn\'t her being impatient, but she\'s someone who can be very blunt about her intentions sometimes.

"You found something I could use?" I felt my eyes light up.

"I believe this will help you." She flipped her hand over, producing a tree branch with nothing particularly noteworthy about it on the surface. But I could feel the lifeforce of the thing from here. "It\'s from the Gildergreen Tree in Whiterun. Which in turn was born from a branch of an Eldergleam tree that is blessed by Kynareth. It\'s one of the oldest things still living in Tamriel."

"You....didn\'t have any trouble getting this did you?" I hesitantly took it into my hand. It was very.... neutral, I think the right word was. It didn\'t lean towards any end of the spectrum in regards to light or \'dark\'. Basically, exactly what I asked for.

"No, I made a small deal with Kynareth to infuse the tree with a speck of my power to breathe life back into it. It was dying and rotting while sitting in the mortal city for so long. Her priestesses were being foolish and were not allowing it to properly die and they did many things to attempt to preserve it and instead tainted it away from its proper path. It\'s supposed to die and be rebirthed in time as is natural. I merely cleansed it of all the nonsense they infused into it and let it proceed back to how it should be while giving it another lifetime." She shrugged as if it were the simplest thing possible.

"Thank you." I quickly enveloped her into a big hug.

"It is no trouble." She smiled lightly. "You may rely upon me for such matters."

And I knew she meant it in a heartfelt way.

"Would it be rude if I asked you for another favor?"

"You may ask anything of me, always." She said softly.

"Can I have a strand of your hair? Diluted to the level that a....mortal could process and handle it?"

Meridia looked thoughtful for a moment. "You intend to use my hair for crafting?"

"That\'s my intention." I didn\'t hide it from her.

She, without reservation, plucked a thin strand of hair from her head. "As long as the final item remains in your possession, I do not mind." She offered it up.

It may seem.....infantile on the surface, but she was literally giving me a piece of herself. Everything about her was carefully crafted from her own Divine Power.

"It should be....weak enough, for a mortal to handle with care." She explained.

"Izzy." I turned my head to my other Goddess. "Would you mind if I asked for a strand of your hair as well?"

"A small thing." She dismissed, unceremoniously plucking a strand from her own head. "It should be equal to hers, if I had guessed your intentions."

"Thank you." I said wholeheartedly.

"There is no need for thanks. It is far from the limit of what I would give you if you asked." Izzy was being cute.

I now had the materials I needed to make a wand. Did I actually need the wand intentionally for anything? No. But I also don\'t like to do things by halves. I could probably find a proper use for it later, and I had an idea off the top of my head, but I would need to experiment.

"What\'s Medea\'s stance?" Yasaka asked, realizing what I was prepared for. "We should head out...tomorrow I want to say. Is Medea going to take you up on the offer?"

"I talked to her a little bit when I was showing her my new boat, she\'s....hesitantly on board." I relayed.

"She has trouble accepting good will." Artoria said quietly. "I do not claim to know her thoughts, but if she is even partially interested, then I believe she truly does want to give it a try."

That\'s a good analysis. Medea did better when we worked off of transactions. Just blunt generosity without any expectation of reciprocation threw her for a loop.

She\'s certainly gotten better though from what I recalled of her during the Grail War.

"We can head out tomorrow, I\'ll give Medea a heads up so she can have one more night to talk it over with her Fiancée."

[***]

Floofy floof.

I was keeping myself occupied with one of Yasaka\'s tails. Kunou was playing with both Sir Wiggles and Lady Wiggles as she loves to do.

It didn\'t take long for Medea and Kazuki to finally arrive.

Both of them were wearing their normal attire, Kazuki with his suit, and Medea clad in her Servant stuff. Which would oddly make her fit in more than her Fiancé and even myself in all honesty.

Immediately, I could see there was a smidge of excitement in her eyes, even if she wasn\'t being very emotive about it.

Kazuki carried with him a briefcase which made me think that they were fully on board.

"Can I take it that you both are accepting the interview?" I questioned.

"We\'ll give it a shot." Medea nodded. "Worse case, we can just leave at any moment."

That\'s entirely true. I was making a big enough donation that losing a couple teacher mid school year wouldn\'t be too horrendous.

"Do you mind..." I glanced at Kunou.

Medea\'s expression softened. "I will gladly look after her while we\'re there." She agreed.

It was genuinely hard to dislike Kunou. Even the Witch of Betrayal had a soft spot for the fluffy little fox.

"Well, first stop, we\'re going to the Bank. It should be a good opportunity for you guys to open an account and vault. You can probably exchange other Gold for their specific coinage. And it helps with other matters. While we\'re there, I\'ll send a letter to the Headmaster to give him a small heads up about your impending arrival."

Which he knew about.

It was one of those things, where they expected their arrival for an interview today, or a letter of rejection. Set up ahead of time to not be rude either way, obviously.

"Sounds good, boyo." Medea said, clearly on board now. I think the idea of her watching Kunou made her feel better because she was \'paying us back\' or some other nonsense. I wouldn\'t poke at her because of it, people handle their own issues in their own ways.

"Ready to go, Kunou?" Yasaka asked.

"I\'m ready, momma." Kunou hopped over, both Bunnies on her shoulders.

"Then, without further ado." I opened a portal right outside the bank, making sure to calculate for any organic matter as to just not walk on top of someone. And a slight trick to not allow anyone from the other side to see into our side. "Ladies?" I offered.

"Yes, you\'re such a gentleman." Medea rolled her eyes, grabbing her Fiance\'s arm and happily walking through with Yasaka and Kunou right behind.

And lastly, I went through last, shutting it behind me.

The sun annoyed me for the most miniscule of moments, going from indoors to outdoors without a buffer, but I quickly ignored it.

People were staring, surprised and what-not, but I ignored them. It wasn\'t uncommon for people to teleport here, it\'s just our method was something utterly different than what they\'re used to.

I gave Medea and Kazuki a moment to take in the new sights before gently pointing them towards the Bank Building.

The two goblin Guards standing outside were a dead giveaway as they had been warned about the residents here.

I picked up Sir Wiggles and Lady Wiggles, giving them the letter intended for Dumbledore, and let them fly off to deliver it.

"Come on." I gently nudged the Witch of betrayal.

"How strange." She muttered, but they all followed along as I pushed open the doors.

Bank first, then let Medea and Kuzuki go to their interview, and then we could do some shopping with Kunou. It was going to be a wonderful day.

The Goblins were keen on our arrival, some light whispers as if they were expecting us and some messages were passed as the Teller behind the counter jumped down, ran around the back door to the front to meet us.

"Mr. Schweinorg." He paused, looking at everyone else. "And Guests. The Bank Manager is expecting you." He was quick to usher us away from the main floor.

I shrugged, not caring.

The faster the better.

He led us right to the Manager\'s office that I remembered from my first visit. He knocked once, and didn\'t wait for a response before pushing the door open.

The Goblin behind the desk looked initially annoyed but brightened up a smidge seeing us enter.

"Mr. Schweinorg, you\'ve returned." Ragnok greeted, shooing away the other Goblin out of the room. "And you brought others with you." His lips thinned, pushing himself off the chair. He almost became...diplomatic in his mannerism as he approached Yasaka. "On Behalf of the Goblin Nation, we welcome you into our borders." He did a slight, but polite bow.

Yasaka perked up a tiny bit. "On behalf of the Kyoto Youkai, I thank you for your hospitality."

Well, certain niceties needed to be observed for first time meetings. Yasaka, as I told them previously, was a Ruler, and the Goblins consider this their own nation.

"And this little one, I assume she is going to be attending Hogwarts?" Ragnok asked.

And I was genuinely surprised at the tone and demeanor of his. Previously, he was crude, blunt but now it\'s like a complete 180.

Then again, he did say they loath Wizards and Witches, which.....Yasaka and Kunou certainly were not. A sort of comradery that is reserved for non-humans around these parts?\'

"Hi, I\'m Kunou." My daughter introduced herself.

"Hello, Kunou. I am Ragnok, Manager for this branch of Gringotts. I will be taking care of any of your banking needs during your stay at Hogwarts." He did something resembling a smile, I think.

It was hard to tell. But he was noticeably more gentle with her than even Yasaka.

"I have a couple friends here as well." I gestured to the others. "They\'re potentially going to be teachers for Hogwarts this year, and potentially more."

Ragnok paused, looking at Kazuki, sizing him up. "You have the stance of a killer."

"I was an Assassin." Kazuki bluntly replied.

Ragnok didn\'t even blink, just nodded with a smidge of....respect? "A muggle, how rare." He said under his breath. "And you have the stench of old Magic. Very old Magic." He said, looking at Medea.

Medea pulled down her hood. "Is there a problem?" She narrowed her eyes.

Ragnok recoiled ever so slightly under her gaze. "Gringotts doesn\'t care about the matters of Wizards and Witches." He quickly reaffirmed. "As long as you abide by our rules within our nation."

"Hmph." Medea crossed her arms. "I will open a Vault after you are done with..." She waved her hand flippantly. "This."

He looked unsure of how to respond to her and just nodded. He cleared his throat moving to a shelf behind his desk. "I assume you are here to retrieve your sword?"

"If it\'s ready?" Which, considering the shape and size of the box it was more rhetorical.

"It was finished a few days prior." He gently took it down and walked over to me. "It\'s one of my finer works, I am very proud of it."

He opened it up, revealing a glint that shined under the lights within the room.

It was certainly not the color of steel. It had that lighter tone associated with Silver, but even then, it didn\'t quite look like normal Silver either. Perhaps a tiny bit almost like Pearl in its coloring and sheen over normal Silver.

The guard looked to be made of a Bronze I didn\'t recognize, but certainly not normal Bronze either. The handle was wrapped in a black leather strap, for which I didn\'t know which animal it came from as well.

"A Han Jian style sword?" Yasaka looked at me. "I\'m surprised you wanted this style."

I picked it up, gently taking it from the box. "I have a Katana in my Zanpakutō, and I have several \'western\' style swords, I like variety." I replied. It\'s funny, it\'s almost becoming a pattern now that I left China, yet I also commissioned a Chinese-type sword.

Completely happenstance, but regardless, I was more than happy with how it turned out.

"It\'s pretty." Kunou gave her opinion on it.

"I think it\'s pretty as well." I chuckled, giving her a quick pat on the head.

I took a step to the side, away from everyone to give it a few swings followed by a thrust, and I combined several movements in quick succession to get a feel for it. "The balance is impeccable. The weight feels perfect as well. This is a very well forged blade." I was utterly sincere with my praise, it was more than earned.

"It\'s a nice sword." Medea inspected. "May I?"

I offered it up for her to hold. She was someone I trusted enough to hold my important treasures.

She took it in her hand, and nearly expertly swung it a few times. A Witch she may be, but you did not survive in her time period without knowing your way around a sword or other weapons atleast to a modest degree.

"It has a strange principle about it." She looked at the blade itself after another couple swings.

"Goblin Steel." I replied. "From what I\'ve been told, it has an impressive Greed infused concept that takes in stronger things to make itself stronger."

Medea raised an eyebrow, handing it back to me. "And what\'s your plan with this thing? You already have plenty of weapons as is."

That\'s true, but I would never turn down more treasures.

But this in particular, well.

The image of the Mage King popped into my head. How he effortlessly dispelled my own Magecraft and countered with his own.

The teacher of even Gramps.

I was going to find any and all anti-magic materials I could and let the sword eat them all up. By the time I was finished, I was going to make it the natural predator to any and all things magic.

But even so, even if it could ignore magic, a pointy metal blade wouldn\'t do much against the King of Magecraft.

And after becoming so heavily anti-magic, obviously, I couldn\'t enchant it further nor use my own magic to enhance it, thus I needed a different way to increase its lethality.

If it can take in things to make it stronger, well, then I would feed it all the most heinous and vile Poisons and Venoms I could get my hands on.

A blade that can ignore magic and contains some of the most dangerous poisons ever conceived.

"I\'m going to turn it into the ultimate Mage-Killer."

[***]

Non-Canon Omake: Through the looking glass, Part 2.

Teleportation Circles lit up in the room as a bunch of familiar faces appeared. Some I\'ve seen from the outside, one I \'ve only seen in the mirror.

"Mom!"

"Miss Shimoda!"

"Big Sis!"

They all filled into the room, ready for battle. Noticing the non threatening situation they sort of fumbled, but then immediately noticed me, the stranger, and were about to charge in for a fight again.

I admit, it was odd seeing myself like this. I mean, I\'ve fought my copies through my Zanpakutō and Bankai Training, but this just felt...different.

Especially because it was a younger me.

"Mom, who is that!?" My younger self pointed at me.

God, I forgot how short I used to have my hair.

"I\'m your long-lost twin brother." I just randomly blurted out the first thing that popped into my head.

"Wah!?"

"Stop making things confusing." My mom slapped my arm.

"The truth is, I\'m actually you from the future. I\'ve come back in time to warn you about –"

"Stop it." Mom slapped my again. "One more time." She warned me with that look.

"....he does look a lot like you." Venelana\'s daughter said skeptically.

"That\'s stupid, there\'s no way he\'s me from the future." My younger self rolled his eyes.

"Wanna know where he keeps his stash of porn?" I looked towards my mom. "It\'s in his closet, under the –"

"Shut up!" My younger self turned red and his voice cracked slightly.

"Oh stop." My mom rolled her own eyes. "And besides, I already knew about the hiding spot under that loose floorboard in your closet."

"Mom!?" He squeaked out.

"Miss Shimoda." Sona Sitri pushed up her glasses. "Perhaps we should discuss the pertinent subject. Like how a stranger bypassed your houses\' defenses."

"That was like, hours ago. Where have you been?"

"Don\'t –" Mom was about to chastise me, then she paused, her expression blanking for a second. "Wait, that was awhile ago, why are you just getting here now?"

"What? They only went off a few minutes ago." Sona looked confused.

Mom looked at her then at me.

"Yeah, I fucked with them." I shrugged.

"Language." She slapped my arm.

"Mom, stop hitting me." I huffed.

"Wait, mom?" My Alternate self repeated.

"Woops." I realized my slip up. "Guess that cats\' out of the bag."

"Wait, is he actually my long lost brother!?"

"Takao, don\'t be silly." Sona interjected. "There has to be some reasonable explanation. He\'s not your long lost brother, he\'s not a time traveler. That\'s just absurd."

"I\'m him from an Alternate Reality." I just ripped the band aid right off.

Everyone looked at me, then at my mom.

"What? He\'s telling the truth this time." My mom defended.

"That\'s ridiculous!" My younger self proclaimed.

"Honestly, I\'m feeling pretty similarly right now." I agreed.

"This is new to you too?" Rias questioned.

"Oh no, I do this all the time." I shook my head. "I\'m talking about the fact that my other self is apparently dating that thing." I pointed at Sona.

"What is that supposed to mean!?" Said girl all but growled.

"I\'m glad you asked –"

Mom slapped my arm again. "Takao." She warned.

"Ugh, fine." I stopped, on behalf of my mom. But....I couldn\'t help myself. "By the way, all his porn is about girls with big boobs." I shot once more towards her.

Mom hit me again.

Sona\'s eyes widened, and she turned towards her apparent boyfriend.

"He\'s lying!"

"Actually, he\'s not."

"Mom!!!"

"We\'ll talk about it later." Sona huffed, pushing up her glasses again then turned to me. "Honestly, it just sounds like overt jealously." She turned up her nose.

I covered my mouth.

"Takao, is something wrong?" My mom looked at me in concern.

"Sorry, just threw up a little when she insinuated that I was jealous."

"Why do you keep insulting my girlfriend?" My alternate self was seemingly getting upset.

"Sorry, threw up a little more in my mouth."

"Takao Shimoda!" My mom raised her voice.

"What?"

"Not you, the other Takao!" She corrected after my alternate self blurted out.

"This is confusing." Rias grumbled.

"Well, to make things easier, I don\'t go by Takao." I replied, because it was getting annoying. "Wilhelm Henry Schweinorg, at your service." I properly introduced myself.

"Why do you have a German name?" Sona asked.

"What\'s wrong with my name?" I frowned. "It\'s from my Grandfather." Sorta, kinda.

"Grandpa Zeo?" Takao spoke up.

"What does he have to do with anything?"

"Duh, who else? Mom\'s dad is dead." He snorted.

"My Grandfather." I shrugged. "Adopted."

"Well, I think it\'s a lovely name!" Mom interrupted, and being the best mom ever, she easily accepted and didn\'t question my choices. "Now, tell me more about my grandbabies!"

"Wait, what?"

"You\'re pregnant!?" Rias screeched, looking at Sona.

"I\'m still a virgin!" Sona squeaked back.

"Oh wow, younger me, you can\'t do anything right, can you?" Mom decided that I deserved my cheek to be pinched.

"I wasn\'t talking about Sona." Mom clarified.

"Thank God for that." I muttered, even at the expense of further mom cheek pulls.

"Wait, what?" Sona did a near about face.

"I was expressing my gratitude at the mercies of the universe that my children didn\'t come from you." I clarified.

"That\'s not what I was talking about!" She hissed. "I\'m talking about how you can invoke that name without any problems! Even if you\'re a half-devil....Takao still can\'t do that!"

"...oh, she\'s right. You Devils get hurt from saying God, right?" Mom look confused now too. "Are you not a Half-Devil?"

"I am." I shrugged.

"Then how are you ignoring it?" Rias asked.

"Have you tried praying?" I offered. "Maybe if you ask nicely it\'ll go away?"

"Oww." My other self suddenly held his head in pain.

"Wait, did you really just fucking try to pray?"

"Language!" Mom pinched me again. "And Takao, don\'t listen to obviously misleading things."

"How was I supposed to know he was lying!? He\'s me!?"

"And if he tried to sell you drugs, would you take them?" Mom huffed then looked at me with eyes narrowed. "Don\'t even start."

"I was not going to say anything."

"I know that face." She held a finger up at me. "And be honest."

"Once you get strong enough, it won\'t matter." I said simply.

".....brother can say it too." Rias muttered.

"How strong are you?" My Alternate Self looked wide eyed. "I\'ve been training in Magic, but I\'m still having trouble getting the hang of it. Sona\'s a Genius, but even so, I\'m pretty average..."

"Right, Genius." I rolled my eyes.

"I\'m one of the most talented in the Pillar Families." Sona defended herself.

"....and?" I asked.

She twitched a bit aggressively.

"Wait, if you\'re not together with Sona, who are you with?" My other Self asked. "It\'s Akeno, isn\'t it?"

"The stripper?"

"The what!?" Rias exclaimed.

"Then who?"

"Why does it matter?" I shrugged.

"Don\'t listen to him, He\'s obviously making it up." Sona harumphed.

"Whatever."

"Seriously, who did you end up with? If you\'re like...a future me or whatever." Takao kept pushing.

"What\'s wrong, are you embarrassed to tell Momma about your little sweetheart?" Even my mom was nudging me.

"Harem."

"Huh?" My mom tilted her head.

"I said, I have a Harem." I clarified.

"Wait, like a real Harem?" My other self went wide-eyed. "Like with multiple girls."

"Yup."

"....bullshit."

"Takao, Language!" Mom chastised. "But I agree, in less abrasive terms and with more motherly affection."

I took my phone out and flicked it a few times to get to the pictures and slid it over to them. The all seemed to crowd around Takao as he picked It up and started swiping.

"Wait, stop." Sona said. "Isn\'t that the Youkai Leader."

"Yasaka." I nodded as that was probably one of the only faces they would recognize immediately.

They continued to flip through the pictures until Rias made a very strange noise. Besides that, they all went deathly silent.

"Mom!?" Rias then blurted out.

"...son." Mom\'s tone had a fearful sternness. "Why is there a picture of your Grandmother here with the others?"

"Oh wow, look at the time." I stood up. "I think I should head home now. I don\'t want to disturb you any longer –"

"Sit down."

"Yes mom." My butt became glued to the seat.

"Rias."

"Yes Big Sis?" Rias stiffened.

"Go call your brother. And your mother. I think we have something important to talk about."

"Y-you.... Our Grandmother!?" Takao blurted out.

"Don\'t look at me like that, I\'m not fucking ashamed." I crossed my arms, only realizing seconds later that I said the wrong thing. ".....please don\'t take off your sandal, mom."

[***]

A/N

Next up, we get to see Medea and her Fiance interview with Dumbledore. It will obviously be a very boring and normal interview, I\'m sure :V.

If you want to read 9 chapters ahead or support me, visit my p.a.t.r.e.o.n.c.o.m / astoryforone

I have a boosty for people who can\'t use the above, same name.