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Chapter 319: Break (15)

“I’m sorry..."

My efforts only resulted in criticism that the tension in my throat made my voice sound less like it was worn out from crying. It was clear. I should have known better when I saw Goh Yoo-Joon\'s cheeky smirk that he was just messing around.

I sighed quietly and made sure not to attract attention. We were still stuck on the first part of the song, and hours had passed because I couldn\'t get the emotions right. This session was the polar opposite of recording a Chronos track. I felt a sense of disorientation envelop me.

Eventually, Reina signaled for me to step out of the booth. “Maybe we should take a short break?" she suggested, probably thinking that pushing any further would only backfire due to the strain in my voice.

As I exited the booth, Reina was already on her phone. “There’s a cafe terrace on the first floor. Why don’t you go down, have something to drink, and listen to some tracks I recommend? It might help you get into the right emotional state."

“Yes, Senior. I apologize for the trouble."

“Oh, you don’t have to apologize," Kun-Ho chimed in for Reina. “Reina always takes this long when recording. She is very picky, but the results are always worth it." His whisper was just quiet enough so Reina couldn\'t hear.

Looking around, I noticed that despite the lengthy session, nobody seemed particularly worn out. In fact, everyone appeared quite unfazed. It seemed rather common to repeat sections this many times in the studio.

I felt slightly relieved knowing that I wasn\'t the only one who might be the cause of such delays.

Reina stopped me from leaving and said, “Just a second. I will give you my card. Treat yourself to something nice."

“No, Senior! I will buy my drink with my own money. I feel bad enough as it is."

“Oh, come on. Don\'t worry about it. Wait a sec~" Reina was insistent and pulled out her wallet. Fortunately, Su-Hwan intervened and handed me the YMM corporate card instead of letting me use her personal one.

“I will be back soon." I took the card and headed alone to the cafeteria. Su-Hwan made a move to accompany me, but Reina stopped him, insisting that I needed some time alone to gather my thoughts and feelings.

I sat alone on the cafe terrace with music in my ears all day. However, it didn\'t seem to change much. After all, every scenario that could have been done had been completed both before and during my time in the studio.

Despite my best efforts to engage with the song deeply and deliver an emotionally charged performance, I was repeatedly told it wasn’t good enough.

‘It’s not that I can’t grasp the emotions. Perhaps I simply lack the skill.\'

This thought added a layer of sadness to my frustration.

The Americano on the table might as well have been invisible at the moment. My focus was entirely absorbed by the music flowing through my earphones while pondering, ‘What\'s missing? If it’s not a lack of skill, what should I do?’

As these thoughts and worries swirled around in my mind, a jarringly loud ringtone shattered my peace.

“Argh!" I winced. Frowning deeply, I checked my phone to see who was responsible for the disruption and for almost destroying my eardrums.

[Dude]

It was Goh Yoo-Joon. He had mentioned a video call today and had managed to time it perfectly during my break.

I looked around cautiously and then answered the call.

- Hey! Is that really you, Hyun-Woo?

- Yeah, it\'s me. Are you outside? What’s with the mask and hat?

The friends Goh Yoo-Joon was talking about were the guys we met during Graduating. He didn’t have actual high school friends who would warrant a video call like this. Hee-Su and Joon-Hwan were on the screen, waving enthusiastically. Behind them was Lee Cheol-Min, who was always grumpy, but he never missed out on these gatherings.

“How’ve you been?”

- Of course, we\'ve been doing well. As for you guys, I hear about you every day, so no need to ask. Where are you?

“I’m in the middle of recording.”

-Ah, that\'s too bad. If not for your schedule, we could have met up.

“Yeah, let’s definitely catch up next time." I slightly lowered my mask to chat with them when Goh Yoo-Joon, ever the ringleader, dragged Lee Cheol-Min into the frame too. Soon, all four faces were squished into the camera\'s view.

“Hey, what’s up with your voice?" Goh Yoo-Joon asked, his tone laced with concern. But his face still wore its usual light, cheerful expression as if it wasn’t a big deal.

On my end, things were less upbeat. The recording session hadn’t progressed, and I was deep into coaxing out as much genuine emotion as possible. So naturally, my face wasn\'t exactly picture-perfect. I managed a strained smile, the best I could muster under the circumstances.

“It’s just not coming together," I admitted.

Goh Yoo-Joon suddenly paused, glanced around, and stepped away from his friends. The phone was still in hand.

- I need a sec to talk to this guy. I will be right back.

- Only the two of you? Okay, go on then.

- We will start eating, okay?

- Sure.

Stepping out from what looked like a room set up inside a barbeque restaurant, Goh Yoo-Joon stepped outside, fully masked and capped.

- What’s not clicking? You should’ve told me.

“I’ve been trying to nail the emotions required for the song, but they say it’s still not good enough. It\'s just my lack of skill, nothing more to it."

- What did Reina say?

Goh Yoo-Joon’s serious attention was unexpected, especially since he\'d been drinking and seemed to be having a good time with friends. I hadn\'t planned for this call to dive into deep waters, so I found myself unexpectedly confiding the whole situation.

Goh Yoo-Joon chuckled.

- What? You are trying to reproduce the voice of someone heartbroken and exhausted? That’s pretty specific.

“No, the image is clear in my head. It’s just that I can’t seem to bring it to life.” I explained.

- Hmm.

Goh Yoo-Joon murmured, sounding like he was seriously pondering this. I doubted he had ever needed to express such precise emotions himself. Unless he had experienced something similar...

Neither of us had ever dealt with heartbreak or the exhaustion that comes from crying after trashing our homes, right? Well, maybe Goh Yoo-Joon had some similar experiences...

Just as it felt like we were getting somewhere, Goh Yoo-Joon suddenly gave up on thinking too deeply by saying, “Aight.”

- Anyway, isn’t this about getting that exhausted-sounding voice?

“Yeah, basically."

- Okay, where are you now?

“Why do you ask? I am at the company\'s cafe terrace."

- When are you going back to record?”

“I need to settle into the right emotions first, so maybe in about thirty minutes?"

- I will be there in fifteen minutes. Wait for me.

...What the heck? The call ended abruptly. I put down my phone, perplexed by Goh Yoo-Joon’s promise to be here in just fifteen minutes. I took a sip of my Americano for the first time since arriving at the cafe and wondered. ‘Is he really coming? Was he nearby? Is he coming alone or with the others? Why is he even doing this? What for? Seriously, why?’

My mind was still swirling with thoughts.

Fifteen minutes later, Goh Yoo-Joon actually showed up, true to his words.

“Why on earth did you come here?"

Thankfully, he didn’t bring any other friends. I was still puzzled about why he\'d left a fun gathering to come here.

I let out a laugh of disbelief, and Goh Yoo-Joon just grinned as if he found the whole situation amusing. Sometimes, I found it hard to comprehend his actions and thoughts.

“A friend’s in trouble, so I had to come help."

“With what? Where are the others?"

“I told them I had an urgent schedule and slipped out. I feel bad for dragging them along. I will head back soon."

So why leave the fun to come here? He wasn’t planning to sing for me, nor did we have a clear solution to my problem. However, before I could even say anything, Goh Yoo-Joon was checking his watch and gesturing toward the cafe exit.

“We don’t have much time, so let\'s just go. Just in case, let Su-Hwan know."

“I can’t just leave. Reina is waiting upstairs."

“It’s fine. It’s super close. Like two minutes away? We will be back in ten minutes."

His suggestion to just go even though we were short on time was utterly baffling, but I found myself following Goh Yoo-Joon since that was my only option.

Occasionally, Goh Yoo-Joon can come up with unexpectedly creative solutions despite his somewhat foolish antics. Maybe this was one of those times. I texted Su-Hwan.

[Hyung, is it okay if I spend thirty more minutes by myself? I just want to listen to the songs Reina sent a bit more.]

The reply arrived in less than a minute.

- Reina will be back after her meal. Make sure you are back within an hour.

The time I needed to return extended from fifteen minutes to an hour. I relayed this to Goh Yoo-Joon, and he led me toward our destination with a relieved expression.

***

“Sir, we will need thirty minutes."

“Alright, thirty minutes. Will it be for both of you?"

“No, just him." Goh Yoo-Joon pointed at me with his thumb. The shop owner then sized me up, informed me of the individual rate, and abruptly handed me a baseball bat.

“What\'s this for?"

‘What\'s going on?’

Goh Yoo-Joon had brought me to a place I\'d never seen before. The rough interior and the baseball bat in my hand only added to my confusion.

“Room Two is available."

“Okay, thank you."

Unlike me, who felt out of place, Goh Yoo-Joon completed the payment with ease. He even chatted briefly with the owner, and then led me to Room Two.

“Tell me, what\'s with the baseball bat?"

“You said you needed to sound exhausted, so... Ta-da!"

“...What?"

I was clueless about where I was even inside the room. There were golf clubs and a hammer next to the wall. The danger wasn\'t just in the baseball bat in my hand. The items around were odd as well.

There were mannequins, tires, used monitors, TVs, plates, and pottery made of plaster. It felt ominously like a danger zone.

“Here." Goh Yoo-Joon handed me a helmet and safety gloves.

What was I supposed to do with these? Was this some kind of playground for cool kids?

Goh Yoo-Joon finally explained after sensing my confusion. “I saw this place on UTube. It’s called a Rage Room, a place to let out stress." He pointed at me. “Do you have to be heartbroken to smash things? Just think about all the things that have pissed you off or made you angry and smash them. Like stuff with Supervisor Kim or things that happened in the US... You’ve got plenty."

I was supposed to sound tired during the recording, but... “You mean, really get exhausted?"

Goh Yoo-Joon cheerfully replied, “Yep."