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Chapter 594: In the Shadow of Fear - Part 5

RETH

It was getting late. And he had left Elia alone all day. He yearned to get back to her, but even more so, feared what state she might be in by now. At least he could be certain Gahrye would have joined her for the hours after dinner.

The elders all prayed and agreed they would reconvene after Reth and the Security Council had determined the best way to handle Lerrin. Which would have led naturally into discussion of the gathering to show the people Elia\'s shift, but no one spoke of it directly.

Reth wanted to bite something. The decision had been made, no matter how much he wanted to fight it. And he couldn\'t fault the logic. It was time to accept that this would happen, and try to mitigate as many of the dangers and stresses for Elia as he could.

As most of the younger elders began to file out, and the security council as well, Reth tipped his head at Aymora who crossed the floor to join him. Behryn, Brant, and a couple of the others remained, talking in low voices that he chose not to listen to, knowing they would be discussing his mate as if she were a pawn in a game, rather than a precious person.

He stood as Aymora came to a halt in front of him, her arms crossed defensively. They stared at each other a moment before he started.

"I can\'t believe you didn\'t tell them this was too much for her!" he growled.

"I tried, initially," she said firmly. "But Reth, they\'re right. She is Queen. And no one knows better than you: Sometimes a Ruler has to put themselves on the line for the people. That is your job."

"But our cub as well?"

"The cub is unharmed by her shifting."

"Unless she can\'t come back and our daughter loses her mother!" Reth growled.

Aymora gave him a warning look. "You really think I would do this, believing that would be the outcome? Her fear is what holds her back, Reth. Not her weakness."

"She would not be the first Anima in history to be overcome by fear, Aymora."

"She is better than that. She has been hurt and endangered. She is traumatized. Until she sees that she can walk forward without harm, she will not be free of it."

"Her trauma is a result of these people!" Reth hissed. "You think demanding that she do this for them—the thing that frightens her most—will somehow remove her fear?!"

"No, but I know she is strong enough to come through it!" Aymora snapped back.

Reth was about to roll his eyes when Brant\'s voice sounded right next to him. He startled. He\'d been so focused on Aymora he hadn\'t even heard Brant approach.

Brant put a hand to his shoulder and leaned in close. "Your regard for your mate is a good thing, Reth, and speaks well of both of you. But you know if it was you in that bed, if you were the one at risk, and you could see how this would help the people, you would do it in a heartbeat."

"I have a lifetime of learning to dominate my beast," he countered. "She has had weeks—and none of them successful. She is dealing with a fully grown, dominant beast and she is ill-equipped."

"The only way for her to become equipped is to shift," Brant said, unmoved. "Only in learning the fight can she find victory."

"And I would have worked with her—after the babe was born. But now?"

"Do you believe we should allow the tensions in the people to bloom and grow?"

"Of course not!"

"Do you agree that this vision of Elia, of her newfound strength and unity with them, that it will inspire them to peace?"

"Yes, but—"

"Then stop fighting the decision, Reth, and instead look at how it can be made with the least negative impact."

Reth blinked at Brant, angry at the male\'s seeming dismissal of Elia\'s discomfort and pain… but also aware that it was advice he would have given if the roles were reversed.

"I will not push her too far, Reth," Aymora said a moment later. "I will choose a day when she is as rested as she can be, when she is in the best frame of mind."

Reth shook off his fury and turned to her. "You\'ll do better than that," he growled. "You won\'t even mention this to her. The fear of it coming will only make her stress worse—and make her weaker. When the day comes that you believe she\'s best prepared, you\'ll tell me and I will talk her through it. And in the meantime, you\'ll keep working with her about how to take her power back after the shift."

Aymora didn\'t look pleased, but she nodded tightly. "By the same token, though, Reth, if you are serious about helping her remain calm and rest, you have to keep her calm. No more aggressive or emotional discussions. When you\'re together, keep her resting."

He nodded. "Of course."

"No, not of course, Reth. If she raises the bears and the portal and that entire mess, you tell her you\'re working on it. You don\'t try to convince her to your way. You\'ll only anger her."

"Fine," he said, but his mind was already turning back to that moment on the trail when he\'d been yearning for her—and remembering that flash of empathy for Gahrye.

The germ of an idea came to him then. But he was distracted as Brant clapped him on the back. "You are doing the right thing, Reth."

He knew that from the outside looking in that appeared true. So why did he feel like he was betraying his mate? Stupid… stupid, stupid, stupid to not have seen this when he raised her story to them. And now he was paying the price.

He just prayed his mate would forgive him when she heard the whole story. That she wouldn\'t reject him, or blame him for this position they found themselves in.

Please, Creator, he prayed. Let her forgive me.