天天夜日日日日碰日日摸日日澡

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Star

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The next morning I went down to breakfast with Artem. It was the first time I had eaten a meal outside the bedroom in a while. It was nice seeing everyone but it wasn\'t the same since the boys were not there.

After breakfast I didn\'t have anything to do so I went back to the room to read my mother\'s journal. I wanted to see if it gave any insight to what she might have gone through. I curled up on the same window seat that I was in the day before and started at the beginning, though it seemed there were several pages missing and big gaps in time.

[OCTOBER 28, 2002]

I went to a haunted house with Chrystal today. It was amazing. She was so scared. Saw this man with the most epic costume ever. His entire body was painted green and he had flower petals, stems, and leaves all over him. I wonder how much time it took him to make that costume come to life. I really wish I would have gotten closer to him, I wanted to talk to him so bad but there were just too many people in the way.

[OCTOBER 31, 2002]

Oh my Goddess, I saw him again. That man with the awesome costume. I didn\'t notice at first that he was a Fae. That was no costume, he just let his true self show. I knew that some Fae had another form just like us wolves but I didn\'t know they looked that amazing. What\'s more, my wolf really seems to like him. He is my mate, or at least that\'s what she told me. Can a wolf mate with a Fae? I don\'t know but he was hot as hell.

[NOVEMBER 2, 2002]

EEEEEE! I saw him again. His name is Aaron Fields and oh my GODDESS he is amazing. I saw him this time in just his human form. He is so much hotter when he is out of his flower form. He is a pixie by the way and he definitely has that mischievous look about him. He asked me out and said he could feel a pull toward me, like a bond. That\'s why he sought me out and was looking for me. Oh my Goddess, I can\'t believe I am finally finding my mate. My family has been riding my ass for a long time to find him and now here he is. I just wonder if they will accept him since he isn\'t a wolf. Perhaps I should keep it to myself for a little while. I really don\'t think that Alpha Collin will have a problem with it though. I will wait until I can talk to him about it all.

[NOVEMBER 9 2002]

Aaron and I had our first date last night. He took me ice skating on an enchanted lake that was secluded in the forest. It was like a fairy tale come true. HEHE maybe it was a FAERIE tale written just for me. After ice skating we had a magical picnic under the stars. It was the best night of my life. I am so glad that I met him.

[NOVEMBER 14, 2002]

I\'m seeing Aaron again tonight. I just know it\'s going to be special. I want to be with him forever. He is simply the most amazing man I\'ve ever met. Tonight we\'re doing a more traditional route of dinner and a movie. I don\'t mind though, I just want to see him.

[NOVEMBER 15, 2002]

I\'m feeling conflicted right now. Last night was the best night of my life. I had my date and everything went perfectly, I even gave myself to him in the most intimate of ways. He is an amazing lover, someone who knows how to take care of his woman. But, then today I saw him out in the city with someone else. Maybe I am just imagining things. I hope so anyway.

[NOVEMBER 23, 2002]

I had another date with Aaron last night. It was amazing. He told me that he loves me and I must have been mistaken because he says he was not in town that day last week. I believe him, what reason does he have to lie to me? I\'m just so glad he loves me as much as I love him.

[NOVEMBER 30, 2002]

Things have been nothing but perfection for me lately. I don\'t know what I did to deserve such a wonderful life but I am so happy right now. Aaron has been my whole world. We\'ve spent almost every day together for the past week. There have been several dates and lots of love making. I can\'t get enough of him.

[DECEMBER 7, 2002]

Last night was the best night so far. I am not kidding. Aaron pulled out all the stops and planned the most amazing night for me. He made a magical flower garden appear in the middle of the snowy field. It was truly enchanting. And the sex was the best I have ever had. Just the fact that the bed for last night was giant magical flowers made it even more amazing. I could feel him that much more intensely.

[DECEMBER 11, 2002]

Aaron had to go home yesterday, back to the compound with all the other Fae. Apparently the Christmas season is really major for them with some giant Yule celebration. I\'m going to miss him so much but I will survive. Somehow. Not to mention, he left me a magical way of getting in touch with him, it\'s a special kind of paper that will be magically transported to him with special flower magic.

[DECEMBER 12, 2002]

Oh my Goddess. There is major news. I need to tell Aaron right away but I don\'t want to do it in writing. I need to tell him that he is going to be a father. I just found out this morning that I am pregnant. I can\'t believe this, I am so happy. I think Aaron is going to be so excited to learn that he is going to be a father. I can\'t wait to see and hold my baby. It will be sometime in May of next year. 

[DECEMBER 24, 2002]

I finally got a message back from Aaron today. It took forever for him to respond. He must be super busy. I need to tell him about the baby face to face so for now all I have told him is that I have news for him. I haven\'t written him back yet, I just want to wait until he comes home in a couple days.

[JANUARY 12, 2003]

I finally wrote back to Aaron today. He hasn\'t been back to see me in almost a month. I don\'t know what\'s going on with him. I miss him, and he still doesn\'t know about the baby yet. I want to know why he hasn\'t come back for me, for us.

[January 31, 2003]

I have seen Aaron around town for the last week. I know it\'s him. I\'ve smelled him. I\'ve seen him. I\'ve heard his voice. But he just ignored me. He was with another woman. He was treating her like he did me. I am feeling truly heartbroken right now.

[FEBRUARY 14, 2003]

Did he pick this day intentionally? Did he choose to respond to me today and lie to me because it\'s Valentine\'s day? Is he getting some sort of sick pleasure from treating me this way? Why won\'t he come see me so I can tell him about the baby? It\'s obvious now, I\'m showing and everything. He couldn\'t possibly think I am lying when he sees me.

[APRIL 16, 2003]

Aaron tried lying to me again today. He says he\'s been in the compound this whole time. Why does he think I am so stupid? I may have been naive when it came to him but that doesn\'t mean that I am stupid. And the baby will be here at any time now.

[MAY 5, 2003]

My baby was born early this morning. My family hasn\'t disapproved of me at all but there are so many people in the pack that are questioning who my baby\'s father is. I think it has to do with the girl who went missing a while back and had her baby at the beginning of last year. She ended up killing herself because she couldn\'t bear the pressure of the stares and the finger pointing. To this day no one knows who her daughter\'s father was. But that\'s not like me at all. I know who my baby\'s father is, I just haven\'t told the pack who he was. There are some very old fashioned people around here. I don\'t care though, me and my baby Astraia will be just fine on our own. I have my money to protect us.

[NOVEMBER 5, 2003]

I saw Aaron today. He was at the coffee shop while I was there. I pointed him out to Star but I know she is too young to have really seen him. I hope she gets to meet him one day. I hope he loves and accepts her because she is wonderful and special.

[MAY 5, 2004]

Star is a year old today. I haven\'t felt much like writing lately but I have been loving my life with my baby. She\'s so perfect and special, and so smart. She learned to walk early and she is already saying so many words. I wish that my brother would come back home soon too, so he can meet his niece. I\'ve sent him pictures and videos of her though so he knows what she looks like at least.

[AUGUST 2, 2004]

I sent Aaron a message yesterday. I feel like I am in danger right now. There have been people watching me. I have even gotten threatening messages that say they know what Star is. They called her an abomination and said she needed to be put down. I will do anything to protect my baby. I don\'t care if Aaron loves me or not, he needs to know about Star so we can protect her together and put an end to this dark cloud hanging over the two of us.

[MARCH 15, 2005]

I think I have found an ally. There is a man who is in the pack that has been helping me to look into the threat against me and Star. There is someone out to get us and I know it. There have been breakin attempts on my house. Someone has vandalized my car repeatedly. It\'s just not safe for us here anymore. I might have to leave town until it is all gone.

[MAY 12, 2005] I have to leave now. I have to. There is nothing else I can do here. I know that whoever is after us is too close. I almost lost Star to him this morning and I can\'t wait any longer. I have packed the bare essentials for us and I am heading back home to my family\'s home pack. I know that I still have a lot of family that lives there, I just don\'t remember any of them at all.

[MAY 18, 2005] 

I never knew how beautiful it was here. My family\'s original pack is hidden in the forest and I feel so much safer here. I think things are going to be really good for us here. Though, my family isn\'t the nicest I could have asked for. Honestly, they told me if I didn\'t support them financially then I would not be able to stay. They know I have money but not how much. My great uncle Calvin left his entire estate to his grandkids, and since Griffin and I were raised by his kids he sees us as his grandkids too. We each got over two hundred million in the will and I was a savvy investor. I turned that money into almost a billion in just over five years. I don\'t mind helping these people out with money, I have enough of it anyway, even with just my monthly allowance I have sent to me. No one but me and Star will ever be able to access the entire fortune though, again, I\'m not stupid.

[JUNE 2, 2005]

There is a strange man here putting weird thoughts into my uncle\'s head. They\'re saying that Star is a weak wolf all because I won\'t tell them who or what her father was. I need to get us out of here. The problem is, they\'re watching us. I am never left alone. I even feel like someone is there when Star and I are sleeping in the bedroom. I don\'t know what\'s going on here but this pack is a lot weirder than I thought it was.

[June 12, 2005]

That man Howard, the one giving my uncle ideas, has been looking at me and Star with a nasty look ever since we got here. He has made it clear he knows she is not a full blooded wolf. I don\'t know how he figured it out but he has turned the family against me. I haven\'t even found an opening to escape with Star and I fear what will happen to her if I am not here to protect her. I don\'t know what to do but I feel like I failed Star by bringing her here. I have even sent more messages to Aaron, begging him for help but he still won\'t take my letter. The paper won\'t even be sent to him, it\'s like the magic is all gone now. What am I going to do?

~~

Star

~~

That was where my mother\'s entries just stopped. I know that she died shortly after that. I could feel myself crying as I read my mother\'s thoughts over those years. I don\'t know why she kept this journal, or who had even hidden it in that box in the attic, but I was happy to have it. And I wish that my father had been there for my mother in her time of need.

It hadn\'t taken me long to read the journal\'s entries but I was exhausted when it was over. I think it was the emotional rollercoaster that the words had sent me on. I didn\'t want to think about my mom having been so lonely and so scared. I knew what that felt like all too well. It was a horrible way to spend the last days of your life.

After reading the journal I curled up on the couch and fell asleep. I couldn\'t keep my eyes open any longer than it took me to get into the position. I fell straight to sleep and dreamt of my mother, all the pictures I had seen of her yesterday and the words of hers I read today. I know that I was crying in my sleep.