YM778.TV Volume 2, 5: Tendo Karen and her Days in a Slump
Volume 2, Chapter 5: Tendo Karen and her Days in a Slump
TL: qbomb
Editor: Deus Ex Machina
Holding an assault rifle, a soldier ran through a snowy battlefield. The character was breathing heavily, and the screen had a whitish tint from the snow.
Coming out of my dash, I slowly advanced by making the soldier lean against the wall with his left shoulder. There were gunshots in the distance. I can’t confirm where the enemy is, though.
“(…Let’s go.)”
Making sure that the soldier had enough stamina, I broke out into a sprint once again.
However, in that next second—
<Boom!>
“Ah.”
Suddenly, the whole screen turned red, and my soldier collapsed onto the snow. At the same time, the win conditions were reached and the game ended. The screen played the winning play of the game—in other words, it was a replay of my character.
…but that was not the case. The replay showed my soldier recklessly turning the street corner, meeting an enemy who was waiting for someone to show up with his knife, and getting killed silently.
…My mistake was perfectly timed.
I felt sorry towards my teammates for losing the game. If we consider my record, I did my fair share of contribution towards the team. However, since I lost the game by dying stupidly, I couldn’t help but feel frustrated
“Tendo.” “Yea…”
At the urging of Kase-senpai, who was one of my teammates, we both left the online match. Right then, I completely used up all of my concentration, and at last, felt like I returned to the real world.
As usual, it was the Gamers Club’s clubroom. Kase-senpai and I were using two monitors to play FPS games, while Oiso-senpai and Misumi-kun were playing fighting games on handheld gaming consoles. …And like always, the two first-year girl ghost members were absent.
When I noticed, Kase-senpai went to the game console to change the game discs. Recognizing that it would normally be what a kouhai should do, I tried to stand up in a panic, but senpai gestured to stop.
Even though I felt a bit ashamed, it’s not something you need two people to do.
While I was bored, watching him change the discs, Kase-senpai started talking as if he was going to make some small talk.
“Tendo. Did you get worse?”
“Ugh.”
The sudden harsh words made me stiffen. I heard the sound of taking damage from Misumi-kun’s handheld gaming console; it looked like he noticed my tense state,
A tense atmosphere wafted throughout the clubroom. However, it was only Misumi-kun and I that felt it, and the two other senpais were completely oblivious to it. Oiso-senpai was focusing on the next match, and Kase-senpai continued to speak bluntly as he was changing the discs.
“And it’s not only just FPS games; lately, it seems like you’ve been losing more often.”
“R-really?”
“Yea. I feel like you’ve been losing concentration and hesitating a lot.”
“Uh…”
“Is your physical condition bad? From studying or from lack of sleep? …But the exam was a while ago, wasn’t it?”
“A while ago, huh?”
As usual, senpai is really indifferent about things other than games. However, I was grateful that he brought up the tests. Using that, I tried to change the topic.
“Speaking about exams, Kase-senpai and Oiso-senpai, you guys were ranked surprisingly high this time.”
“Saying ‘surprisingly’ is rude, you know.”
While adjusting his glasses, Kase-senpai looked back at me as he finished changing the disks. In the back, Oiso-senpai also replied indifferently as she continued to play loudly on her handheld gaming device.
“People who are good at games are people who are smart.”
“That’s some convenient logic right there.”
I made a wry smile because of Oiso-senpai’s far-fetched logic, but Kase-senpai agreed with her.
“Well, people who are bad at learning are bad at games.”
“Hah… is that how it is?”
I wouldn’t go as far as to say that that’s the case. There must be a lot of people who are mediocre at games but are actually smart. For example…
“Is A-amano-kun good at studying?”
I asked Misumi-kun while fidgeting a little. While looking down at his handheld game, he replied with, “I don’t know about his grades, but…”.
“Since he himself says that he’s mediocre… well, I think that he’s about average. At the very least, he’s not at the top.”
“I-I see…”
Although I hung my head in shame, Kase-senpai blew air through his nose and continued talking.
“Hey, it’s as I said. People who are mediocre at games are also mediocre at other things—”
“I don’t think that’s true at all!”
“…”
I shouted out loud, interrupting senpai’s words. The clubroom instantly fell silent. Even Oiso-senpai looked up from her game in surprise. Taken aback, I tried to wave my hands and smooth over the situation.
“Ah, no, um, uh, that’s, um, I don’t think that rankings are everything for gaming and studying…”
“? But that’s not what we were talking about?”
Kase-senpai tilted his neck in confusion, wondering what I was talking about. Oiso-senpai resumed her game and looked back down, and Misumi-kun was the only one looking at me in worry.
While I was still at a loss for words, Kase-senpai started to navigate the menu with his controller, and mumbled as he looked at the screen.
“…Tendo, by any chance, you haven’t lost your enthusiasm for games, right?”
“Ugh! It’s not like that! It’s not like that but…”
Suddenly I remembered Amano-kun’s stance on games. …Right now, am I enjoying games more than he is? Did I lose sight of something somewhere? Lately, I’ve been having these thoughts… or should I say, Amano-kun has been on my mind lately.
“…Hey, the next game’s starting, Tendo.”
“Eh, ah, yea.”
I realized the Kase-senpai had finished and was waiting.
I hurriedly grabbed my controller and played the online FPS game, which was similar in appearance to the last game but slightly different. …However.
—I, on this day, got the lowest score I’ve gotten since I started playing this game several months ago.
＊
“Fu…”
Even though I was tired of the summer sun, I made my way towards downtown on my day off. It sounds better if you call it a stroll, but in truth, I was just escaping from reality.
“(I really… got worse at games…)”
It wasn’t just the games I played during club activities the other day; when I went home, I played the online game by myself, but the result was horrendous. It’s not limited to just FPS games. Fighting, racing, action, puzzle, strategy… I played badly, no matter the type of game.
…I can’t even say that my bad performance is only temporary. It really was as Kase-senpai said.
I got worse at games… no, at competing.
Suddenly stopping in front of a display window, I looked at my own reflection in the window. I saw my conspicuous blonde hair and blue eyes. People of all ages around me were looking at me as they passed by. That by itself is fine. It’s not new. I’m already used to it. The problem was…
“(I’m making an unhappy face…)”
The summer heat wasn’t the only reason why my face was drained of all energy.
Letting out a sigh, I resumed my aimless strolling.
“(The cause of my slump is… clearly, him…)”
I let out another deep sigh once again, right after the previous one. I have to admit this already.
I am being strongly influenced by Amano-kun.
If I were to say it more specifically, it’s his game style… My stoic playstyle is completely collapsing because my heart has accepted his way of thinking that prioritizes having fun since who knows when. In other words, my thirst for victory has diminished.
But the confusing part was that I’ve only talked to Amano-kun a few times. The number of times we’ve met is actually countable using my fingers, and for me to be that affected by his words… there’s clearly something strange going on.
“(Speaking of strange… whenever I think about him, my body temperature goes up for some weird reason. …I wonder if I’m still mad at him for refusing my invitation to the Gamers Club.)”
Am I really that narrow-minded? …The reason doesn’t feel exactly right, though.
At any rate, because of Amano-kun, my game skills have dulled.
“(Seriously… what a difficult person through and through.)”
If I think about it, I’ve been manipulated by him. The time when he rejected my invitation to the Gamers Club, that Gamers Hobby Club mess, and most importantly… the situation right now.
“(I really wish he would take responsibility!)”
Waving my arms wildly, I steadily made my way towards the town. … …!
“(W-when I say responsibility, that’s not what I mean! That’s not what I mean, ok!?)”
I tried to take back my poor word choice in a panic when I realized what I had said. I don’t know who it was for, though. Even then, my face inevitably burned up. …Ah, mou!
As if I was trying to leave behind my hazy thoughts, I walked down the road with quick steps with my head down—
“Oh.” “Sorry.”
—but bumped into someone as I turned the corner. Just like yesterday’s FPS game. Lately, I’ve been feeling under the weather. This, that, everything is his—
“Oh, uh, Tendo-san?”
I quickly looked up, hearing a voice I recognized. The owner of the voice was…
“Huh!? A… A-amano-kun!?”
“Y-yeah. Uh… um, hi…”
The small-statured, timid boy who was as apologetic as ever… Amano Keita was standing in front of me while averting his gaze.
However, I was acting equally as suspicious this time. Unable to calmly reply as I usually do during this chance encounter, the resulting situation was…
“…” “…”
Both of us were squirming, unable to look directly at each other even though we were facing each other… somehow, we looked like an innocent elementary school couple.
After clearing my throat and regaining my senses, I forced my usual “diplomatic smile”, and interacted with him in a comfortable and relaxed manner.
“Oh, fancy seeing you here, Amano-kun. Are you out shopping?”
While brushing my hair with one hand, I lightly hugged myself with the other while standing beautifully. Like a model.
Alright, perfect. This is the usual Tendo Karen. I made a triumphant pose in my mind.
Amano-kun, though… as usual, he was avoiding looking in my direction. Well, no matter how composed he is, he’ll eventually end up like that.
“I-I, um, uh… … w-was wandering?”
“H-huh?”
My eyes spun at the unexpected answer and Amano-kun scratched his cheek. He continued to talk in embarrassment.
“…I was playing games from the morning at home, but my mom got mad. After leaving my house, I lost my way, so I’ve just been helplessly wandering outside…”
“…A-ah, is that so…”
What kind of stupid answer is that! I never thought that I would meet another second-year high school student that was strolling around, looking even more helpless than I was.
And why does this person openly admit to such a sad reason? —As I was thinking such thoughts, his face suddenly made an expression that said “Oops”. It seems like he somehow realized what he just said. As his face gradually turned red, he also looked more disheartened.
“…Fufu.”
“? Tendo-san?”
While looking at him, who was the same as ever, I unintentionally let out a laugh. If I think about it, he’s always been this way. Suspicious, nervous behavior… an awfully humane person. My “complete perfection” is radically different from the other people around me. But because of that, I can act with confidence.
After I continued to laugh quietly for a bit at Amano-kun’s embarrassed face, I briefly apologized to him and spontaneously asked him a question.
“If that’s the case, Amano-kun, do you want to walk with me? I don’t have any plans either.”
“Eh, ah, yea, sure. … …Wait, w-what!?”
After reflexively accepting, he then understood what I meant and became startled.
Becoming flustered, he replied incoherently.
“No, eh, that’s, for someone like for me to be with Tendo-san on a day off, um, I don’t deserve it!”
“You don’t deserve it?”
I never thought that someone in the same grade would say those words to me.
“Um, uh, yea… … …As I thought, it’s not good! Yea!”
After pondering over it for a few seconds, Amano-kun arrived to that conclusion. This guy, really… He always rejects my invitation every time, as if it was on purpose.
But this time, I won’t accept that answer.
For some reason, I’m bothered by his nature. It wouldn’t hurt to accept my invitation once in a while.
“Why? Amano-kun, do you hate me?”
With upturned eyes, I asked him a question with slightly malicious intent. Amano-kun’s face turned red and immediately denied it with all his power.
“It’s not like that!”
“What?”
I was the one who brought up the question, but I didn’t expect him to deny it so fiercely with such an angry look. I stared at him blankly… and for some reason, my cheeks became hot in embarrassment.
Amano-kun took back his words in a panic.
“Ah, no, that’s because, it’s not good when you walk with me. Like before, strange rumors will pop up.”
He’s probably talking about the time I invited him to the Gamers Club when he said “before”. Since I don’t talk to boys very often, it certainly became a rumor back then. But such an issue is trivial to me. Even though I’ve refused every single one, I have been confessed to by many boys, so I’m no longer surprised by the strange rumors that pop up from the gossip around school. So, even if rumors pop up that I was walking around with Amano-kun, I’m not particularly…
…
“Tendo-san? W-what’s wrong? Your face is red for some reason…”
“No, i-it’s nothing. It’s nothing, yea.”
“? Really?”
Amano-kun looked at me in worry. Unable to take his gaze, my cheeks flushed red and I averted my eyes.
“(R-really, why am I like this? Why now…)”
I don’t understand why I feel so disturbed. While I was thinking to myself, Amano-kun apologetically lowered his head, looking like he misunderstood something once again.
“Uh, well, it’s something like that, so please excuse me for today—”
“Stop!”
“O-ok!?”
I pulled at his shirt sleeve in a panic. Amano-kun looked at me nervously. Even though I was surprised at myself for stopping him, I steeled my nerves and spoke up boldly.
“I-it’s a stroll!”
“Um?”
“T-this is ‘two people walking together’, not a d… d-‘date’ at all, ok!? So, it’s fine if you just walk with me!”
“Um… … …No, that’s really not the problem—”
“It’s fine, so let’s go, Amano-kun!”
Pulling him by the sleeve, we started to walk quickly.
Feeling awfully embarrassed at the situation,he shouted “I got it, I got it, so!” and made me let go of his sleeve.
As we walked side by side, I sent him a glare to stop him from running away.
Amano-kun, trembled after seeing my glare and reluctantly started to walk together with me.
Letting out one big sigh, he mumbled, having given up on getting away.
“…Well, that’s… um… w-where shall we go? Tendo-san.”
“Now you’re talking.”
He awkwardly returned a smile after I replied to his question with a smile on my face.
＊
“Um, you know—”
As we arrived at my favorite game shop, Amano-kun mumbled with an amazed expression.
I asked him a question, looking sullen.
“Oh. Are you unhappy about coming here?”
“Ah, no, that’s not what I mean…”
“This isn’t a date, we’re out on a walk. I said that earlier, right?”
“No, if it’s a walk, why are we at a game shop first… wait, oh, this is the game I was interested in! Let’s see…”
“Aren’t you already having more fun than me…”
I wryly smiled and started exploring the store. Well, since I’ve been troubled by games lately, it’s certainly strange that I decided to go to a game store during our walk.
But after all, the first thing that comes to mind as a change of pace for me is games. I can’t do anything about that.
I didn’t have a particular game that I wanted to buy, but I looked at the shelves in great interest.
“(…Speaking of which, I talked to Amano-kun for the first time in this store.)”
Looking at Amano-kun’s back through the cracks of the shelves, I remembered that time. Back then, each of the members in the club wanted to invite more gamers.
To tell the truth, I knew people who were better at games than Misumi-kun and Amano-kun back then, but…
“(I saw him walking out of this game shop with a smile on his face, after all.)”
I always dropped by here to keep an eye out for other students, so I noticed him one day. I knew him one-sidedly.
…Whenever he bought a new game, he would walk out holding a package under the arms, looking happier than anyone else in the world.
“(That’s… without even checking his skill, I instinctively invited him to the Gamers Club.)”
Eventually, I was refused, so I ended up looking like an idiot.
While I was thinking back on that time, Amano-kun, who apparently just finished reading the bottom of a package, looked for me in a bit of a panic, and excitedly walked over to me.
“S-sorry, I got too excited by myself…”
“No, it’s fine. We’re just walking around, so feel free to do whatever you want to do.”
“Well, it’s certainly difficult to look at games together…”
“Right?”
He looked like he wanted to ask, “Then why are you taking me into a game shop?”, but I ignored him and started looking through the store.
After having looked through the games for about five minutes, an idea suddenly struck me and I looked for Amano-kun.
He was standing in front of the used games shelf. And, the package he was holding…
“…’Golden Tricks’…”[1]
Amano-kun was looking at that game for a while, which had a golden-haired bishoujo as the heroine in a dating sim. When I started to mumble behind him, he became startled and put the game back on the shelf.
“No, um, it’s not what you think! I-it was cheap, so, I just grabbed it!”
“It’s ok, Amano-kun. …You’re a boy, after all.”
“Don’t act like a mother who discovered their son’s porn! I’m not buying this anyway!”
“…I see, not buying that… …”
“Why are you disappointed now!?”
After having teased Amano-kun as much as I could, I started up a new topic.
“Well then, Amano-kun. Shall we go to the arcade afterwards?”
“Huh? It’s fine, but… games again?”
“? Amano-kun, you like games, right?”
“Yes, of course.”
“I also like games.”
“Right.”
“Then, since this is a two-person stroll, isn’t it only natural that we visit a game store and arcade?”
“…Huh? A… stroll?”
Amano-kun doesn’t look convinced anymore. Yea, to be honest, I can’t say that my words don’t sound strange anymore. I can’t say the reason directly, but I have to go to the arcade by any means possible.
In the end, I took the reluctant Amano-kun with me and headed towards the arcade.
On the way, Amano-kun asked me a question while feeling wary of the gazes of the people around us.
“Tendo-san, do you like playing arcade games?”
“Eh? Oh… well, for me, the ratio of playing games at home to at an arcade is about 7 to 3. Oiso-senpai and Misumi-kun like playing arcade games more. On the other hand, Kase-senpai seems to only play online FPS games.”
“Oh, I see.”
“How about you, Amano-kun?”
When I asked him a question in reply, Amano-kun smiled wryly.
“Not at all. I even used to dislike it a lot…”
Somehow, I understand him. People who play games at homes and go to the arcade to play are considerably different. Especially for someone like Amano-kun, who doesn’t have many friends and is the type to stay alone, it’s not surprising that he doesn’t like arcade games as much. But the thing that got me was…
“‘Used to’? You used to dislike it a lot…”
“Oh, yea. Lately, I’ve had the chance to play with other people, so I’ve been having a lot of fun with a lot of arcade games.”
“Huh.”
My heart thumped loudly when he said that. …Amano-kun… at the arcade with someone else? Ah, speaking of which, I’ve seen him with Uehara-kun before… him, right? Yea. Right. It’s him, yea. I should make sure…
“…U-um, Amano-kun? It’s only for reference, but, um, who did you play with—”
“Oh, Tendo-san, we arrived. Is it this place?”
“Oh, we are! Yea! This is the place, uh-huh!”
I suddenly looked back, feeling disturbed, and walked into the store in a panic. …I completely lost my chance to ask the question.
“(No, it’s definitely Uehara-kun. Yea. … …It’s not anyone like Hoshinomori-san, or, um, the suddenly alleged girlfriend Aguri-san… right?)”
The more I think about it, I could imagine Amano-kun chatting and giggling with another girl, enjoying themselves as they played a crane game. …In reality, by looking at his usual behavior, he’s clearly not the type to do so, but if I say what I know of him—
“Tendo-san? Um, what’s wrong?”
I replied absent-mindedly to Amano-kun’s sudden and worried question.
“No, I was just disappointed and surprised that Amano-kun was the type of person to shamelessly go to an arcade with another girl.”
“But wasn’t it you that invited me!?”
“Oh.”
When I noticed, Amano-kun had dropped his shoulders, said “There are too many trap choices… !”, and became depressed. It looks like he thought that “going to an arcade with another girl” was referring to the current situation. …Well, with how things were going, it was only natural to think that way.
When I opened my mouth to clear up the misunderstanding, I realized that telling him my train of thought would also be a problem, so as a result…
“Oh, look, it looks like a variety of new game machines have come in!”
It looks like completely changing the topic was a solution that wasn’t well-received by Amano-kun.
“Hah… yea…”
“(Ah, he’s clearly feeling depressed now! S-sorry, Amano-kun.)”
Even though I apologized over and over in my heart, I couldn’t say my true intentions.
Anyway, I tried to get him to forget about it as quickly as possible and pulled on his sleeve forcibly.
The arcade we arrived at was a three-story building that was different from the one I saw Amano-kun and Uehara-kun at in the past.
Without even looking around the first floor, which had crane games and photobooths aimed towards families, I headed straight for the second floor, which had video games.
While I was still pulling on his sleeve, Amano-kun laughed in a strained voice.
“Tendo-san, you’re really consistent.”
“?”
“Ah, no, see, I was just thinking that you were the opposite of Aguri-san, who would immediately bite at the chance to win a prize at one of the crane games.”
“Oh, certainly, I don’t really have much of an interest in those things—”
When I said that much, I realized something.
“(…Isn’t Amano-kun somehow strangely familiar with Aguri-san’s personality!?)”
I was sweating. …Is there something between them after all?
“(But… I’ve heard from people that she and Uehara-kun were dating. But… Hoshinomori-san’s testimony also had credibility…)”
While my brain ran around in circles, I passed the video game floor without realizing it and arrived at the third floor, which had medal games.[2]
Looking back at Amano-kun in surprise, I saw that he also had a look of uncertainty.
“…Um, Tendo-san? Are you… going to play medal games?”
“Huh? Oh—…”
It seems like he expected me to go to the video game corner. …To be honest, that was my plan all along.
At any rate, the reason I dragged him to the arcade was so that I could play against him.
“(If I played a game with Amano-kun once again… somehow, I thought that I would be able to understand how to break out of my slump, but…)”
What should I do now, having come to the medal game floor? There aren’t any fighting games, nor are there any puzzle games. Letting out a sigh, I cleared my throat to distract him, and looked back at Amano-kun to go back down a floor—
“Oh, we must’ve come here to kill some time as a change of pace as we play medal games! As expected of Tendo-san. I didn’t think of that at all.”
“…Sure?”
Suddenly, Amano-kun’s eyes glittered, having come up with a reason for my actions by himself.
Ignoring me, who had stopped moving, he made his way to the middle of the medal game floor.
I chased after him in a panic… Standing in front of the medal exchange machine, he pointed towards a sticker and looked back at me with a grin.
“Look, Tendo-san! Once a month, they give three times the medals, and that’s today. We’re lucky!”
“Y-yea, we are. That’s definitely great value.”
“Right? For now then, since today’s special, let’s spend about 500 yen.”
“Yea, sure—uh, no, um, w-wait—”
Amano-kun put his hand into his pocket, pulled out a single 500 yen coin, and put it into the machine before I could say anything to stop him. The medals jingled as they came out the machine and into the cup.
“Oh—…”
“? What’s wrong, Tendo-san? You’re making a face as if a magician in your party just wasted his MP on some useless stuff.”
“Why can’t you have been more perceptive like this earlier!?”
“Ueh!? D-did I do something bad?”
Amano-kun became frightened as he held the cup of medals, which jingled loudly.
Sighing deeply, I took out my purse from my pouch, stood in front of the machine, and exchanged my own 500 yen for medals.
Holding my cup, I glared at Amano-kun, who was shrinking back in fear. And then… in the next moment, I thrusted my finger towards him.
“Let’s have a match, Amano-kun!”
“? Huh?”
Amano-kun looked at me blankly while tilting his head. I continued to speak with firm resolution.
“This isn’t what I intended to do… but it’ll work. Let’s have a match with medal games this time, Amano-kun!”
“H-huh. …Um, if this wasn’t what you meant to do, then we don’t have to do this…”
“Amano-kun!”
“Y-yes!”
“You made a very good choice. Certainly, if it’s a medal game… where practically everything is decided by luck, I can compete seriously with you!”
“Putting aside the fact that you subtly dissed my gaming skills… compete earnestly, is it?”
“Yea! This is… the deciding match with my life and my comeback on the line!”
“It’s my first time seeing someone so enthusiastic about medal games!”
“Amano-kun! I will definitely defeat you! And then I will retake what I have lost!”
“…Um, well, then should I lose?”
I replied in indignation when Amano-kun hesitantly suggested to throw the match.
“D-don’t joke around like that! Trying to withdraw from a serious match… You’re the scum of gamers! Shame on you!”
Amano-kun replied in bewilderment to my exasperated words.
“But, um, I have nothing to lose… and Tendo-san, you said that your life depended on this match, so…”
“That’s…! …T-that’s a figure of speech! Ignore that part! Nothing’s on the line for me! Nothing, ok!? … W-whee whoo~”
“What is that really unsettling whistle!? It’s actually really scary!”
“! You’re a really fussy person! I-if you’re like that, girls will hate you!”
“Isn’t my favorable impression rapidly dropping today somehow!?”
“Anyway! This is a medal game match, Amano-kun! Alright… 30 minutes! After 30 minutes, we’ll come back here, and the person with more medals is the winner! Do you understand!?”
“H-hah, I got it…”
“Then, in 30 minutes! …Game start!”
As I announced the start of the match, I started to speedwalk around the floor while looking around for places to invest my medals in.
“(The most orthodox game would be the pusher game. A simple, classic, and visually appealing game where the goal is to use the timing of the pusher to push already-existing mounds of coins off the ledge. But…)”
After seeing a lot of elderly people and families around the circular machine, I grimaced.
“(The machine’s way too popular, like I thought it would be. And naturally, the empty spots are…)”
I quickly checked the LCD display. …As expected, all the good spots are taken. Lately, this sort of game has bingo and sugoroku elements added to it, and each seat accumulates points that are shown on the display. In other words, a person who is able to get a seat with a high number will profit a lot, but since this game is popular, good seats are taken fast.[3]
“(It’s a fun game with various elements, but since today’s goal is to get as many medals as possible in a short amount of time, it’s not the best…)”
Quickly coming to a decision, I ruled out pusher games. By the way, it’s only been about ten seconds since the start of the match.
While constantly thinking over my strategy, I looked over at Amano-kun to see what he was doing, And, he was…
“Alright!”
“(Hey—)”
The pusher game that I ruled out in the very beginning… and furthermore, he went to the seat with the lowest number of points without checking it just because no one was there and sat down.
I was dumbfounded for a second, but I snapped out of it and immediately analyzed his actions.
“(Is that his strategy!? Did I not see the number correctly? No… that’s probably not it. B-but, he can be attentive at times, so maybe…)”
“…Fumu fumu. …Heh~… … Oh, there was that kind of rule, huh…”
“(He’s a complete amateeeuuuuuuurrrrrrrr!)”
I nearly tripped. Amano-kun… he probably sat down because the pusher game caught his eye… Well, it’s just like him.
“(Somehow I feel like I’m losing my strength… But I won’t be careless! I, I will do the very best I can! And then I will break away from Amano-kun’s loose and easy-going nature!)”
I firmly made a fist and resumed walking around the floor, hoping for a machine with a high income in a short amount of time.
Twenty minutes later, in front of the medal exchange machine. There was—
“…” “…”
There was a girl holding a cup filled with medals to the very top without even having used up all the time, and a small-statured young boy who was feeling depressed.
Already knowing the result without even counting, I asked myself a question.
“(…Then what?)”
I didn’t feel the exhilaration of victory nor any disappointment in Amano-kun’s poor performance.
I felt nothing. The only result was the outcome that I anticipated from the start. Amano-kun prioritized having fun as always and suffered a crushing defeat. I prioritized getting points and so I won in a landslide. It wasn’t interesting at all.
“Ahaha… as Tendo-san said, if it was medal games, the match would be more competitive, but… it was just pathetic.”
“…”
As I watched Amano-kun drop his shoulders, I kept thinking to myself.
Certainly, he should’ve had a decent chance of winning. But… if, for example, he had won and I had lost, I feel like I would still have this strange feeling. …there’s nothing at all.
“(I have really… become half-hearted. I don’t feel the exhilaration of winning. At the same time, I’m not like Amano-kun, who’s satisfied with just having fun. …I… what the hell is it that I want to do…)”
It’s not even an exaggeration—I felt like I hit rock bottom. Amano-kun must’ve also been sad, but… for me, this situation was painful.
Because… I no longer knew how to enjoy games.
The one thing that had always been a pillar of support in my heart just crumbled.
Feeling light-headed, I dropped a medal from my cup. Amano-kun sent me a sidelong glance, picked up the medal, and tried to return it, but he saw my vacant look and hesitated.
I laughed without any energy when I saw him hesitate, and talked carelessly.
“It’s ok. You can have that medal as thanks for picking it up.”
“Huh? Is it really fine? Woohoo, thank you very much!”
He bowed exaggeratedly. While thinking that he was a strangely innocent person as always, I looked around, wondering if I should put my remaining medals in the deposite machine. However, I noticed that Amano-kun was no longer there.
“Amano-kun?”
I looked throughout the store while calling out his name. I saw him at the place he was playing at originally for some reason… returning to his seat at the pusher game, he was looking at the machine with a serious look, trying to measure when to put his coin in.
Sitting on one side of the two-person seat, I looked at his face, combed my hair, and said, “Amano-kun?”
He became flustered when he noticed that I was close to him, and scratched his head in embarrassment.
“No, um, since you gave me this medal, I thought I would bet on the match with this…”
“Match? What match?”
“Eh? Of course, the one with Tendo-san about who could get the most medals…”
“Hah?”
“Huh?”
When I reacted in surprise at his unexpected words, he also replied in surprise.
I forcefully pulled his shoulders towards me and asked him.
“Um… Amano-kun, are you still trying to win?”
“Huh? No, I didn’t have any medals and didn’t get out of my last bet, so… But since I received a medal from Tendo-san, I’m aiming for a comeback victory. I still have some time left.”
Replying with an attitude that said, “Isn’t it obvious?”, he took up a posture to put the coin in once again, but I reflexively called out to him.
“Eh, w-wait a bit, Amano-kun.”
“W-what is it? Are you trying to stall? Don’t stop me, Tendo-san!”
Without looking in my direction, Amano-kun looked for the right time to put in the coin as he talked in a slightly irritated tone. Even then, I continued to ask him questions.
“W-why are you trying to win?”
“Because this is a competition!”
“But, you, you’re not that type…”
“Huh? What’s that supposed to mean, ‘that type’?”
Amano-kun closed one eye and carefully aimed the coin, replying to me in a slightly rude tone.
I gulped, feeling a hunch that a big assumption of mine was just about to be overturned, and asked the question that struck the heart of the manner.
“Isn’t it fine whether or not you lose…”
In reply to my words,
Amano-kun, while concentrating on the tip of his finger, told me his true intentions without any lies… and it was a big shock to me.
“The match is definitely more fun if you win!”
“(Eeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhh!?)”
The biggest reason that I fell into this slump was “Amano Keita’s game stance”. While shouting words that completely ruined my theory, Amano-kun pushed the medal in.
And the result was—
“…” “…”
It didn’t have any influence at all and only added to the mound of coins. The outcome felt like a failed punchline.
In the next instant, Amano-kun grabbed his head, taken aback.
“Ahh, mou! This is irritating!”
“Ir… irritating…?”
“Hah? Yea, irritating! I lost my last bet!? I!”
“Y-yea, but… but, isn’t it fine if you had fun in the process?”
“Huh?”
Amano-kun tilted his head in curiousity. …I’m the one who doesn’t understand, you know.
Sensing a family that wanted to play behind us, we left our seats in a panic, traded in my medals, and then left the arcade.
For a short while, we had a casual and carefree conversation as we walked through the city and we finally seemed to be taking the most “stroll”-like activity of today.… at a tree-lined passage in the park. Finally, I decided to ask what was on my mind.
“Amano-kun. Didn’t you… refuse to join the Gamers Club because you didn’t like to fuss over winning and losing?”
“W-why ask so suddenly? That’s… no, well… if I say it directly…”
Amano-kun must’ve thought that I was mad since he replied in an awkward tone, his eyes downcast.
I started by reassuring him, saying “I’m not criticizing you or anything”.
“But a few minutes ago, you said that losing was irritating and tried your best even with your last medal to win, right?”
“Yes, I did.”
“…Isn’t that strange?”
“…Is it strange?”
It looked like Amano-kun didn’t understand what I was saying. Getting slightly irritated, I piled on the questions.
“After all, your top priority is to have fun when you play games, right?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Then, in other words, it doesn’t matter whether you win or lose, right?”
“No no no, it does matter whether I win or lose. I want to win.”
Looking upset, Amano-kun shot back a tsukkomi. In the end, I couldn’t understand at all.
“…Your claims aren’t consistent, Amano-kun.”
“Uu. Well, certainly, my beliefs aren’t as strong as Tendo-san’s… …I still don’t think what I was saying sounded strange, though.”
“How? Isn’t it strange? Prioritizing having fun, and yet caring about the result of the match—”
When I said that much, Amano-kun interrupted me and said it directly.
“It’s about playing together, you know?”
“—”
I was dumbfounded when when he said a contradictory statement once again.
Rather than being concerned about the matter on hand, Amano-kun looked around, worried that we would be discovered by other Otobuki students. While walking, he offhandedly replied to my silence.
“But if I really didn’t care about winning or losing… then games wouldn’t be fun at all, no?”
“Ugh”
That’s right. That’s me right now. The one whose enjoyment of winning has diminished. But the one that doesn’t even enjoy playing; that’s the incomplete me.
Amano-kun suddenly looked upwards at the sky and gave an easy-to-understand analogy.
“Look, it’s not only about the competition. In an RPG, if you just sigh when the boss kills you… doesn’t that mean that the game needs tons of farming and that it’s a completely shit video game where the balance is off?”
“That’s… well, probably. …B-but!”
Feeling unconvinced, I asked him a question.
“You said it before, right!? That you played games with your brother like fools while laughing out loud! If you play with that kind of feeling, doesn’t that just mean that you don’t care whether you win or lose? Am I wrong?”
“You’re wrong.”
“Huh?”
“Rather, it’s the opposite.”
“O-opposite?”
Amano-kun replied with a nod to my hysteric voice.
“Both of us always make a huge uproar about winning or losing. We say that [I will win next time], or that [today’s match was unfair so it didn’t count], and argue that we won, counting all previous matches. Well, you could say we argue over it like a massive scandalous dispute. It’s like a direct way for us to quarrel in a lighthearted way.”
“…”
“So when I say I like to play games with my brother, we both have massive mood swings from the outcome of the game.”
It felt like I was just hit on the head. I think I was just taught the natural way to enjoy playing games again.
And… he simply gave me what I was desperately looking for, like how I simply gave him the medal that he picked up for me.
While unintentionally shivering and feeling vulnerable, I continued asking questions.
“…What the hell? Then why, Amano-kun… did you not join the Gamers Club…”
“That’s because I simply lacked the willpower. Naturally, I want to win, but I didn’t have the enthusiasm to practice over and over again just to be able to win.”
“…”
“I think I’ve already said this before, but for me and my brother, games are for ‘amusement’.”
“I… I see.”
Amano-kun smiled warmly towards me with a grin. While feeling like I was gradually learning how to have fun with games again, I kept asking questions.
“Hey, Amano-kun. When you see… me trying my hardest only to win… and the Gamers Club as well, is it funny to you?”
“? What are you saying? It’s not like you to ask questions like that, Tendo-san.”
As if he was blowing all my troubles away, Amano-kun shouted while laughing, which unusually filled my whole body with confidence.
“The fact that I love winning and am so irritated at losing is the best part about playing games!”
“…Is that so.”
“So, from the bottom of my heart, I don’t think people who obsess about winning and use their irritation of losing as motivation to improve are funny!”
“…”
Noticing that my eyes were wet, I looked downwards in a panic. However, it didn’t look like Amano-kun noticed at all, and scratched his head in embarrassment.
“Well, since I don’t have the conviction and the willpower, rather than trying to improve my skills, I’m just running away by playing other games…”
“Fufu.”
“S-sorry…”
I unintentionally smiled as the negative Amano-kun apologized.
If things were as always, I would give him reassuring words, but…
“Really, my expectations for Amano-kun were betrayed.”
“U-uu… I’m really sorry for being disappointing in various ways…”
When I saw Amano-kun dejectedly drop his shoulders, I stuck out my tongue.
“(Well, I actually meant it in a good way, though.)”
But to say it so directly is a bit mortifying… and embarrassing.
I walked a few steps in front and turned back to look at him.
“Alright, this is where our stroll ends!”
“Eh!? Ah, yea, I understand, but… i-it’s very sudden, you know?”
Did I do something rude?… said the uneasy expression on Amano-kun’s face.
I waved my finger and smiled, denying his worries, and turned my back to him.
“Can’t do anything about that.”
I raised my hand in lieu of a farewell, and—
“Right now, I want to play games, so I can’t help it!”
—started my journey towards home, where games were waiting, with energetic strides like the old “Tendo Karen” and completely unlike the “Tendo Karen” right before the stroll.
…
…However.
A later development
It was Monday after school at the clubroom.
“Tendo, you…”
“…”
After finishing a round of an FPS game, Kase-senpai put down his controller and started to talk with a meek expression.
Uncharacteristically, Misumi-kun and Oiso-senpai paused their game and were looking in our direction.
As I was waiting eagerly for judgement time, Kase-senpai—
—shouted loudly, looking utterly amazed.
“You got even worse! What is this!”
“Uu!””
I crashed onto the table at his overly harsh words.
Kase-senpai quickly got over his amazed state, and as if he was afraid, swallowed his spit.
“No, it’s safe to say that you’ve returned to your old playstyle. Your thirst for victory and your improvement from losses as well. That much I’ll recognize.”
“Uu—…”
“But, that’s why this is so confusing. Why do you…”
“…”
“Why do you make stupid plays that would make even a beginner surprised!? Whenever you get carried away, your face flushes red!”
“Oh.”
When Kase-senpai pointed that out, I couldn’t say anything and just hung my head.
“(Uu… that’s probably…)”
After my stroll with Amano-kun, I’ve been able to understand the joy of games once more, got my enthusiasm and joy for games again. That much is good. But…
“(Why… Why do I always think of Amano-kun’s face, who plays games for fun!? This is really strange, me! Is there a bug in my brain!?)”
This was the current reason for my bad performance.
“Uu…”
I groaned and glared at the monitor with teary eyes, having set a new low score.
I slowly thought over the events that happened recently.
And then—I came to a conclusion, and shouted with all my might in my head.
“(As I thought, this is Amano-kun’s faaaaauuuuuuuuullllllllllllllttttttttttt!)”
—The day when Tendo Karen returns to her normal condition in the truest sense was still a ways away.
Notes:
1. Reference to Golden Mozaic.
2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medal_game
3. This sentence really confused me, as bingo and sugoroku really shouldn’t have any connection to pusher games. However, it may be referring to them as elements of luck/RNG.