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AARYN

"That doesn\'t seem very reassuring," Aaryn growled.

"You have to understand, they aren\'t in a position to jog over to my tree and chat," Reth said.

Aaryn\'s head spun. "Then I guess I hope that our people are finding them when they head across the desert."

"They\'ll be found," Reth said quietly. "I\'m certain of it."

They were both quiet then, deep in thought.

"So, Elreth has learned that some of her people are bringing humans into Anima, and they are not staying in her Kingdom," Reth rumbled a few minutes later. He winced. "How did she handle it?"

"Very well, actually," Aaryn admitted. "Better than I did. I was raging. I couldn\'t believe they\'d kept it from me."

Reth shot him a look and Aaryn nodded. Yes, he heard the irony in that statement.

"What did she do? What did she decide?"

"She hasn\'t, yet. She\'s going to think it all through and figure out what she thinks is best. But she handled it very well. She stayed calm. She dominated. And she… even when I know she was reeling, she was already considering the many different options she had to deal with it. But no, she hadn\'t decided yet."

"Where is the human?" Reth asked casually, though Aaryn knew the male was tense.

"She\'s with the disformed for now. We have a cave where we meet… most tribes don\'t even know it exists. They won\'t be found there. Elreth asked them to stay until she decided the best way forward."

"And you say she stayed calm?"

Aaryn opened his mouth to talk about her conflict with Gar, then snapped it closed again. He couldn\'t tell Reth about that without giving Gar away. Reth\'s eyes sharpened on him, but Aaryn just shrugged. "Mostly," he said. "She got a little tense at the end as we were leaving, but I don\'t think most people saw that. As far as they know, she was thoughtful and determined, and… and they\'re going to get their asses kicked for keeping it from her."

Reth chuckled. "That\'s my girl."

Aaryn smiled. "Actually, that\'s my girl."

Reth gave him a flat look, but Aaryn held it until the older man nodded and looked away.

There was another long silence, then Reth said, "So do you want to tell me about the fight? I know it can be hard. And I\'m not blind to Elreth\'s flaws. I will try to give you good advice for both of you, not just her."

Aaryn sighed and ran both hands through his hair. "She doesn\'t think I should retain Alpha of the disformed at the same time that I\'m her Advisor. I felt that leaving them to someone else now, at such a crucial time, would be abandoning them. Or at least, that they would see it that way. She says I am choosing them over her."

Reth winced. "I take it you told her you would rather stay Alpha than take the Advisor role?"

"No, I told her I didn\'t feel like she was giving me any choice. I know how they will perceive that. They\'ve been neglected, or attacked, their whole lives. I\'ve been with them since I was young, and now I lead. If I were to become King and the very next day turn around and tell them I\'m leaving them to someone else so I can be a Cohort… they would see me as one more person who can\'t be trusted to stick by them when things are tough."

"I would have thought they would want you to be a Cohort."

"They do—but like me, they thought I could do both. Elreth thinks it will put too much pressure on me to prioritize them in my advice to her."

"She\'s probably right."

Aaryn went very still. "She often is. But not always."

Reth nodded and ran his hand over his face again. "So, do you want my thoughts?"

"Yes, actually," Aaryn said, though he fought feelings of defensiveness. Was Reth just going to see it exactly as Elreth did?

"Okay, so let me put this to you from her perspective first, as ruler. Then make sure I understand yours.

"She\'s in a position where she has to care about and seek the best for everyone. But it\'s always impossible to do that. So the next best thing is to make decisions that hurt everyone the least, right? She\'s thinking if you\'re her advisor, you\'re in a position to help the disformed—to help her make decisions that won\'t hurt them in ways she\'s not aware of. To build a society that helps them thrive—which is good for all the other tribes too."

Aaryn nodded. "She basically said that."

"Sure, so if I see this right, you\'re thinking that it doesn\'t matter how much you\'re helping behind the scenes, you\'re going to be seen to have abandoned them. And that\'s going to risk them rebelling, or just giving up and leaving. Not to mention, create tension within them because some of them will be okay with you going… basically it will be a lot of upheaval and risk for the disformed, which makes you feel like they won\'t thrive anyway. Or that it will be harder to help them."

Aaryn breathed a sigh of relief. "Yeah. I hadn\'t thought about it in those terms, but yes. If I leave and they think I\'ve abandoned them, it will create problems—and they won\'t see me working for them with Elreth. At least not right away. Plus, she\'s worried if I stay Alpha, my ties to them would be so strong that it would push my advice off-balance. That I\'d be biased."

Reth growled. "My daughter underestimates you, I think."

Aaryn was startled. He sat up straighter. "Thank you. I think?"

Reth leaned forward onto the table. "Look, it\'s not common to have Alphas as Cohorts, but it has happened. The bigger problem, I think, will be the drain on you. I don\'t really see how you can be an effective Alpha when you\'re also Advisor. If you were Second, maybe? But as Adviser, you\'ve got to be there for everything. Which means at the end of the day—if you aren\'t helping your mate, you\'ve got to find a way to pick up the pieces of your own people with the scraps of time you have left. That is, in my opinion, the bigger problem. The humans have a saying that I think applies very well here," Reth finished.

"What\'s that?"

Reth held his gaze with a small smile. "Damned if you do, damned if you don\'t." Aaryn gave him a flat look, but Reth just chuckled. "Oh, and there\'s another one: Better you than me."

Aaryn wasn\'t laughing.

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