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Trying to explain to an 11-year-old girl the fact that her parents died was probably the hardest thing I ever did in my life, the tears would not stop and the torment that it was to see her in so much pain. I wanted to take that pain away from her and tell her that everything would be fine; but could I lie to her like this?

′′ Everything will be fine Claire, I′ll take care of you ′′.

The answer was Yes. Lying to her was the least of my worries at this moment, we are in an underground bunker of the military, a refuge; But it would be stupid if he believed that we are safe. Our parents believed that. . . now they are no longer here with us.

Claire didn’t react much to my attempt to comfort her, but that seemed normal under the circumstances; the military man who was accompanying us assigned us a room for both of us and left. I never saw the man again, I heard that he died months later fighting a mutant beast.

Once we were alone it was time to talk to Claire, she was in pain and emptiness was the only thing in her eyes; but I needed her to listen to me.

“Claire, I need you to listen to me.”

.....

The silence was my only answer. I did not lose my patience with her, I could understand her because I was feeling the same as her at that moment, but I was different, I had to protect her. . . at any cost.

′′ Claire listen to me, our parents are dead, we are alone in this world, without family or friends; nor anyone on whom to depend ′′.

She seemed to hear what I said as her small body began to tremble and tears fell once more.

′′ That’s why now we are family, from now on I will be your brother and your best friend, you and I will be our world, you can always depend on my Claire; we’ll be together forever. ′′

I tried to express my feelings and intentions, reaching the poor helpless girl who lost her parents only a few minutes in the past. She raised her sad little face full of tears and snot; she expressed in a voice full of despair her first words since she heard about the death of her parents.

′′ Brother Desmond, do you swear?. . we’ll be together forever?. . Whatever happens, do you swear? ′′

′′ I swear Claire, no matter what happens, I will do whatever it takes to protect you; You will never be alone Claire. ′′

It was all I could do at the moment, an empty promise, one I wasn′t even sure of keeping; but that I would give my life in the attempt to be necessary to carry it out.

Weeks passed, the beasts still run rampant in the city, the military is only capable of remaining on the defensive, the bunker doors have never been opened since then; sometimes I could hear people’s voices calling for help and screaming in pain. . . but no one was able to help them.

At first, things were not so bad, the military distributed food and I was able to spend my days taking care of Claire. But soon the food they gave us began to decrease, I tried to ask for more as Claire and I started to go hungry but I only received a beating in exchange for my demands. I assumed that would happen but I still had to try.

Things started to get worse a few days later, the food decreased again and Claire fell ill, the fever was too strong to be ignored; I tried to ask for help but they just told me they had no medicine. I knew they were lying, they just didn’t want to waste their precious resources on us.

I was desperate, but I could remember something I heard from another boy in the shelter, something about a man, a priest who would be willing to give us food and even medicine; the problem was what this man asked for in exchange for it. As I wiped the sweat from Claire’s forehead and watched her go through so much suffering, I made a decision.

Following the directions that I asked for on the way to find the priest, after another corridor, I saw him, he was reading the bible to a group of people, wearing his priest’s costume, he truly looked like a man devoted to God; I wish those people knew the truth.

While those thoughts went through my head I waited for him to finish his sermon, when he finished I followed him discreetly to his room, when we arrived he stopped and saw me again; It seems like he had noticed me a while ago.

“Do you need something, my son?”

He exclaimed calmly with a kind smile on his face, I felt so disgusted; But I bit my tongue and said my piece

“I heard from a friend that you can give me food and even medicine.”

′′Oh really? Did that friend of yours tell you how he got those things from me? ′′

He said in a serious but calm way.

′′ Yes. . . I can do the same as him. ′′

I said while I endured the anger that I felt at that moment.

′′ Hmm, you are a little older for my taste, but you are quite cute; I suppose I could give you what you need if you do a great job. ′′

Making an obvious emphasis on the phrase: great job, the man’s intentions were as clear as glass; I could only swallow my pride and slowly nod my head showing that I understood.

Without saying another word the man opened the door to his room and waited for me to enter before entering and closing the door behind him, walked to his bed and turned around; As he loosens his robe and made a significant downward gesture he only said one thing:

“I guess you know what to do.”

I walked towards the man and got on my knees in front of his waist, I started to help him take off his pants; the disgust I felt at that moment almost made me vomit but I couldn’t stop thinking about Claire who was now seriously ill.

At the same time that the man’s pants fell to the floor, he probably heard me murmur when I was kneed in front of his crotch; I didn’t know how but he feel something or knew something because I could see the terror flood his eyes at that moment but it was too late.

′′ whatever is needed. ′′

Before the priest managed to react, I took his leg and made him fall, I climbed on his chest, took the piece of glass that I had hidden in my right boot, and without any doubt to be expressed, I stabbed him in the throat.

Disbelief was the only thing the priest could express, but no word would come out of his lips again, only the blood in which he was now drowning came out of his mouth; my hands were shaking but that didn’t stop me from stabbing him again.

After the fourth stab I stopped, my hands ached and the man was no longer moving. Swallowing back the vomit that threatened to come out, I began to search the room for medicine and food.

I ended up finding them inside a small trunk in the corner of the room, took everything I could into a small backpack that I found, and got out as fast as I could. I took off my blood-stained clothes revealing the second change of clothes underneath, took the glass that I used to murder the priest, and sent it in the bloody clothes; I had plans for these things.

While I was feeding my sister and giving her the medicines, I kept muttering to myself:

′′ Whatever it takes Desmond′′