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“Arianna, what are you talking about?” asked her father, still flustered by her announcement.

She pouted, “I’m thinking, since I don’t have a mom, I could just get married to my crush and be my own mom, and then when the time comes, we’d have our babies,” she figured everything out.

Her father went pale in the face, “How could you think of such a thing, my Ari? Look around you, do you see any of your mates that are married?”

She shrugged, “No,”

“Then why would you think of such, Arianna,” He breathed.

“You said It’s unique to be different. The fact that I think this way means that I’m special and special people do great things. I could go down in history as the youngest married child!” She was so enthusiastic without knowing that underage marriage was banned and her father would be arrested for supporting such.

“Don’t worry, Arianna, if you’re so desperate to have a mother, I’ll get married and you would have a new mother,” He thought it was the best idea.

“No!” Arianna rejected it right away. As a kid, she watched Cinderella and heard tales of what people in her same situation experienced whenever one of the parents got married. If her father got married, his attention would shift to her new mother and the siblings they would make.

.....

“I don’t want you to get married, I only want you,” She rejected the proposal without thinking twice.

“But you said -”

“Fine, I won’t get married!” She gave up on the idea, hugging her father, “It would just be the both of us...”

Her father smiled too early because she added, “And my crush,”

The way the smile on her father’s face fell was so comical. He didn’t see that one coming and must feel jealous of her mysterious crush.

So he pried cautiously, “Tell me about your crush, when would I get to see him?” her father was hungry to know more.

“Soon,” She replied, “For the moment, he doesn’t trust anybody except me coming close to him else you would scare him and he would run off again,”

There was a look of confusion on the man’s face, why does his daughter’s crush sound like a bird. How else would a human run off when he gets too close? Only birds do that. He looked at Arianna in concern and then sighed, perhaps crushing on birds was way better than boys. He couldn’t imagine chasing off boys around his daughter at this age.

“Alright baby girl,” Her father carried her into his laps on the sofa thinking that it was over.

Unfortunately, the bird her father thought she was crushing on was indeed a human boy nor did he realize she was the reason for the sudden missing food and fruits in the refrigerator and not because he was developing memory loss. Her poor father, maybe she shouldn’t have lied to him about stealing those foods. But it had been for her crush.

Back to the present, Arianna tried to remember what her crush looked like but the memory was hazy as if it had eroded with time. That wasn’t surprising, she was just a kid when they met, and just like the wind, he was gone as soon as he came.

If only her father knew she did propose to him in the end – yeah, she was quite stubborn as a kid – and he told her it was stupid yet asked her to return the next day for an answer. Sadly, when she returned to their usual spot as told, he was gone.

Her young self didn’t believe it at first and waited and waited for him all to no avail. Then she held onto hope, thinking that he couldn’t make it or something. So she followed through that same route on her way back from school and yet, he was not there.

Arianna knew she repeated that pattern over and over again and when a month went by without a whiff of him, she knew he was gone and was never coming back. And so was her proposal.

Perhaps, that disappointment must have traumatized her as a kid which was why she never had much interest in the opposite sex – her uncle’s matter put aside.

Now, the same pattern is repeating. Elijah, the one she loved left her without fulfilling his promise and she was holding onto the sane hope she did as a kid. What was she going to do? Give up? Should she learn from the first lesson?

Or maybe she should just give up? Why not simply be done with this life? What was the point of living anyway? There was nobody to live for? The thought came into Arianna’s head and she saw the truth in it and decided to succumb to it.

She was in a situation where she didn’t see a way out except to marry a man she didn’t want to. Arianna glanced down at the tub, this was the easiest way to die without someone stopping her. Big Joe would not let her die if he knew what was on her mind.

Arianna let go of her hands on the edges of the tub and she repositioned herself in such a way that her head had enough space to go into the water.

She took a long gulp, mustering the courage to go ahead with her task. And then with her mind made up, Arianna submerged her head completely in the water.

The sensation was suffocating and she felt the frantic need to breathe but she willed her mind already and was resolute on not rising to the surface for air. She forced her mind to believe that soon it would end and she would be finally free. Free of all problems.

At a point in her voluntary drowning, Arianna thought she saw her father reaching for her in the waters and she gave him her hand just as the last bubble left her mouth.