YM778.TV Chapter 147 - Show Love and Respect As Good Brothers Should
Chapter 147 - Show Love and Respect As Good Brothers Should
Translated by Eve
Edited by Serefina
5. Show Love and Respect As Good Brothers Should
Xie He looked at Han Wenqian with teary eyes. He gripped on tightly to Han Wenqian’s wrist. With a trembling voice, he said, “Ge....”
Han Wenqian peered down at Xie He’s hands. It was a pair of very beautiful hands. He had slender fingers and well-shaped bones. His nails were trimmed and they had a pearl-like luster. Right now, he was tightly holding onto Han Wenqian’s wrist. He squeezed so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. Han Wenqian’s eyes darkened and he suddenly grabbed Xie He, pushing him down onto the sofa. He gently kissed those exquisite, beautiful fingers.
Xie He had no strength left in him. He had no way of resisting Han Wenqian. He was already in so much pain he was about to lose his mind. He didn’t know what he was doing at all....
“Save me, I’m going to die....” Xie He tilted his head up, his breathing hurried. He tried his best to grab hold of Han Wenqian.
Han Wenqian laughed. He lowered his head to kiss Xie He’s eyelashes, a faint smile on his lips. “Don’t worry. I won’t let you die.”
Because killing you would be letting you off too lightly.
Han Wenqian’s gaze fell on Xie He’s slightly exposed neck and collarbone. There were still marks that had yet to fade on his flawless pale skin that was like white jade. They had been left by him.... He couldn’t help but recall the image of the young man moaning beneath him. Desire once again emerged in his eyes.
He lowered his head and bit Xie He on the lips!
....................................
Xie He’s consciousness was fuzzy. He felt like he had been in a very long dream. The beautiful dream slowly receded...and in the end, an intense, ruthless pain shredded the remnants of the dream, slowly bringing him back to awareness.
His hands were tightly gripping onto the sofa. It was the sofa inside of Han Wenqian’s bedroom.... Right now, who was violating him could be easily seen.
Deep anguish appeared in Xie He’s eyes. He didn’t quite remember how he had gotten here. He only remembered an inability to endure. He had felt like he would soon go mad. But he hadn’t been able to find anyone to help him. He could only look for his older brother...his older brother who had always loved and protected him.
This was the person he had always revered, loved and depended on as his older brother, ah....
But right now, he was just like those men. He was doing the same cruel thing to him. When Xie He recalled that nightmarish experience, he couldn’t help but feel the urge to vomit again.
So disgusting...so filthy.... Why...?
Why did those people have to do that to him? Why...did even the person he trusted and relied on the most have to do this to him...?
Han Wenqian’s actions made him feel more pain and hopelessness than when those people had done that to them.
The betrayal and hurt caused by someone close to you brought forth way more suffering than that of someone who held malice for you.
Xie He used his remaining strength to roll off the sofa!
Han Wenqian didn’t think that Xie He would suddenly struggle and escape his hold. There was a smile that didn’t reach his eyes on Han Wenqian’s face. He looked down at Xie He, tone slightly raised, “You woke up?”
Xie He stared at him, reddened eyes glistening. He asked, “Why?”
Han Wenqian laughed. He calmly dressed himself and fixed his tie. He said to Xie He, “I told you. If you want my help, you have to pay a price.”
Xie He gnashed his teeth. His whole body was shaking. This was not the older brother in his memories. This person...was unfamiliar and terrifying.
The older brother in his memories did not look at him with ruthlessness and ridicule. He did not demand any prices to be paid. He could not bear to see him upset, let alone ever hurt him.... But the man in front of him only had cold indifference in his eyes. The man before him didn’t believe in him. He wouldn’t cherish him anymore.
There was no difference between him and the people like Zhou Yuebin.
Why did his heart hurt so much...it hurt so much he couldn’t breathe. This was the person he loved the most, ah. But this person had chosen to hurt him without mercy.
Xie He shut his eyes in anguish. There were some things that had to be said, even if he knew he would only be asking for humiliation by saying them out loud. But he couldn’t help but want confirmation. He was grasping at the last strand of hope. Xie He looked up. There was a faint, watery light in his limpid, clear black eyes. A hoarse voice came out of him, “You...you’re my older brother, ah....”
Tell me. Tell me that you didn’t abandon me...that you’re still the older brother who will love and protect me.
Han Wenqian looked at Xie He. The young man was a sorry sight lying there on the floor. He had clearly been tormented until he was black and blue all over, but he still questioned him with a tiny sliver of hope inside.... He wanted to get an answer that would set his heart to ease. He wanted to get the last shred of comfort he could while drowning in this despair.
But when it had been my turn to ask you this, why didn’t you give me the answer I wanted to hear?
Han Wenqian chuckled quietly. There was the sound of self-ridicule in his laughter. Unfortunately, Xie He couldn’t hear it.
He said, “Don’t joke. You’re nothing but a plaything my family raised. You lose sight of your status as soon as I treat you a bit better.... Did you actually think that you’re worthy of being my younger brother?”
Xie He’s face turned deathly pale.
At that moment, he could no longer believe in his own delusions. Han Wenqian’s words had shattered his last shred of hope into smithereens.
Han Wenqian said that he was nothing but the Han Family’s plaything.
From the day he had been brought into the Han Family, he had been fully aware of his status. Back then, although he had been young, he had still remembered his biological parents. That was why he had understood that these people were not his real family.
As a frightened child who had come into an unfamiliar household, he had lived very cautiously. From the start, he knew that he shouldn’t have any unrealistic hopes.... It was just that Father and Mother Han had treated him very well. He had the kind Mother Han and the dignified Father Han, as well as an older brother who had sheltered him since he had been young. Everything had been so beautiful...and this beauty had lasted sixteen years.
These sixteen years caused his heart to gradually open up. He had integrated himself into this family and he had been so grateful for everything they had given him.
And it was precisely because of the fact that they were not related that he was even more grateful.
He felt so lucky. To be able to come here was Heaven’s blessing. Therefore, he had always tried his best to be a good, obedient, lovable child. He hadn’t wanted to lose their love. He hadn’t wanted to disappoint them. He hadn’t....
He had already worked so hard, but because of this one mistake, he’d been forced to make another mistake.
And just like that, he lost everything that he had so carefully guarded for sixteen years.
He hadn’t wanted things to turn out this way. He hadn’t wanted this either. He hadn’t wanted his life to be ruined, or to be r*ped by those men, or to be seen as a corrupt individual&#k2026;. He hadn’t wanted this&#k2026;.
But Han Wenqian didn’t care. What he wanted was probably a clean, lovable little brother, and not a filthy toy like himself.
Xie He let out a bitter laugh.... He slowly crawled up to his feet, disregarding the liquid flowing down between his legs. He said to Han Wenqian, “I understand. Thank you for telling me.”
He would no longer hold any unrealistic expectations. He would come back to reality.
Xie He picked his clothes off the ground and dressed himself. When he reached the door, he couldn’t help but turn to glance at Han Wenqian. This one look seemed to hold all of his hopes and deep yearning love. In the end, his expression transformed into deathly stillness and he pushed the door open, walking out.
Han Wenqian watched as Xie He left and shut the door.
The last look on Xie He’s face kept replaying in his mind. Suddenly, his heart felt like it was being clenched into a ball. What was this baffling, suffocating feeling he was submerged in?
Isn’t this what he wanted? He had wanted to slowly pile the pain onto Xie He, to make him feel despair, hadn’t he?
From the moment he had been reborn, these words had been brewing within him. He had pledged to say the most ruthless of words to the person who had betrayed him, to hurt him first. He would not give him the chance to hurt him again.
But why did his heart hurt?
【Ding, the target Han Wenqian’s Favourability Value +10, Blackening Value -10. The current Favourability Value is 50. The current Blackening Value is 50.】
....................................
Xie He returned to his room, shut the door and lied on the bed.
【Xie He：Gege is 100% 18 cm long. I feel so good, ah. Smile.JPG】
【444：O(∩_∩)O~】He had helped Host dada retain consciousness before going out so that Host dada could feel good.
【Xie He：Baby, have you been earnestly helping me keep an eye on him lately?】
【444：Yes! (⊙v⊙)】
【Xie He：How is it?】
【444：Aside from taking the time to deal with you, he’s also been secretly investigating Qin Ye. He will likely do something to Qin Ye soon.】
【Xie He：Very good. Xiao Qin is also not a good person. Help me keep a close watch over both of them. When it’s time for them to really battle it out, Xiao Qin will come see me.】
【444：Ah...won’t Han Wenqian blacken when he sees you two together? _(:зゝ∠)_】
【Xie He：Baby, have you ever heard of this phrase?】
【444：What phrase...?】
【Xie He：Whoever started the trouble should end it. 】
【Xie He：Xiao Qin must make an appearance. However, before that, I can still play with my little “boyfriend” for a while longer. After all, I haven’t slept with him enough yet.】
【444：......】
Xie He shut himself in his room all day. In the dead of the night, he slipped into the piano room across the hall.
The white piano sat there quietly. Music was his passion. He really, really loved this piano. He remembered the moment Han Wenqian had given this to him. He had been so happy then.
Xie He reached out to gently stroke the keys. When he looked at the black and white keys...sorrow appeared in his eyes.
A long time later, he looked like he had made a decision. He walked to Han Wenqian’s door and knocked gently.
After some time, Han Wenqian opened the door in his pyjamas. Under the dim light, his features looked even more callous and heartless.
Xie He parted his lips, a raspy voice coming out. “I...have something to say.”
Han Wenqian cocked his head to the side and said in an indifferent tone, “Come in.”
Xie He walked into the room, fists clenched tightly, trembling slightly. In the end, he spoke as if he had steeled his heart, “I...want to ask you to help me become clean...I don’t want to...continue on like this anymore.”
He could not give up. He still had dreams, things he wanted to pursue. He wanted to continue playing the piano, continue with the music he so loved....
He didn’t want to let his life fall to pieces like this. Even if it was foreordained to be a tragedy, he wanted to struggle to the end.
Han Wenqian’s lips quirked up. “I can do that. I’ll send you to a rehabilitation center tomorrow.”
Xie He’s lips turned white. He shook his head, eyes reddening. “I don’t want to go there. I don’t want anyone to know.... You can help me, right? If you help me, I’ll do anything in return....”
Han Wenqian stared at him. A few seconds later, he said, “Do you know what you’re agreeing to?”
Xie He’s eyelashes fluttered and he said, “Yes.”
Han Wenqian narrowed his eyes slightly. What was it that had made the young man, who was on the verge of breaking down, want to persevere? Whatever. You’re the one who brought yourself to my door. Although, you were already in my pocket to begin with.
Han Wenqian said in a tone loaded with meaning, “OK.”
Xie He finally sighed in relief when he heard this. He had been really worried that Han Wenqian would not be willing to help him. If that were to be the case, he would have no choice but to end up at a dead end and let his life fall into shambles. Or, he would have to reveal his scandal and be forced into going cold turkey. He would not be able to bear that.
Xie He looked up at Han Wenqian and quietly said, “Thank you.”
Han Wenqian’s eyes narrowed. He hadn’t expected this word of thanks. Why was it that, although he was being treated like this, Xie He could still thank him...? Shouldn’t he hate and detest him?
However, when he looked into Xie He’s clear eyes, he suddenly understood.
Xie He did not think that it was expected for Han Wenqian to help him anymore. He no longer saw him as his older brother that would unconditionally love and protect him. He only saw him as a heartless man who would hurt him. Because he no longer had any expectations for him, he would not resent him and or think it unfair. He thought that Han Wenqian treating him like this was only to be expected.
Because to get help, he had to pay the price.
Han Wenqian’s face chilled when he thought of this. “Get out.”
Although Xie He didn’t know why Han Wenqian was suddenly angry, he did not question him or show any unhappiness. He silently walked out.
Han Wenqian stared at Xie He’s disappearing back before abruptly smashing a fist against the wall. Truly....
Hehe...what ‘older brother you love the most?’ Why don’t you struggle in pain for a bit longer? Why do you resign to your fate so easily...? It was so easy for him to give up. That must be why it had been so easy for him to betray Han Wenqian in his last life.
He didn’t see them as his real family at all.
【Ding, the target Han Wenqian’s Blackening Value +20. The current Favourability Value is 50. The current Blackening Value is 70.】
....................................
【444：Host dada, did you purposely provoke him just now? _(:зゝ∠)_】
【Xie He：Yes. Even you were able to tell. Smile.JPG】
【444：......】
【Xie He：It wouldn’t be fun to do away with the Blackening Value so easily, would it? If I don’t put in a bit more work, how will I be able to ensure the regret is firmly engraved into him after my death? We’ve already begun. I don’t believe in doing things halfway. I’m not ready for him to pull back.】
【444：......】Shoot, he really wants to know if the other systems have ever encountered this kind of host!
【Xie He：Moreover, a blackened “boyfriend” is much more exciting to f*ck. I like it. 】
【444：O(∩_∩)O~】He thinks that this is the main reason....
The next day, Han Wenqian looked for Xie He. He brought with him a pill case. He said, “When you feel it, take two. Don’t take more than that.”
Xie He was already finding it a bit difficult to bear. He nodded hurriedly and reached out, wanting to take the pills. But before he could touch it, Han Wenqian pulled his hand back, looking at Xie He with a cold and mocking expression in his eyes.
Xie He’s hands froze. He looked at Han Wenqian with fear and worry.
Han Wenqian examined Xie He’s face. Although he had doted on him for more than ten years, and although he had always known that his younger brother was very charming, he had never had any other kinds of thoughts about him...until now.
After tasting that deliciousness, he began to think about it constantly.
The young man’s body, the pained sounds of pleasure he made, his watery limpid eyes he used to look at him...they were all unforgettable. He yearned to have it all once more.
Han Wenqian slightly parted his thin lips and spat out, “Take your clothes off.”
Xie He paled. He knew what Han Wenqian was hinting at. He paused for a moment and then pinched the button in his collar with trembling fingers.... He cast his gaze down, hiding the pain and shame.
He knew that he had to pay a price. He had told himself that it was nothing. In any case, his body was already filthy. Wasn’t it just the same regardless of whom he slept with? He didn’t have to be nervous, he didn’t have to care....
The world was cruel. If someone wanted something, they had to pay the price for it.
All of the beauty in the past was nothing but an illusion. This was reality.
Han Wenqian looked at the young man before him. The other slowly undressed himself, revealing his exquisite, beautiful body. He finally couldn’t hold himself back anymore. He gripped the other’s neck and kissed him on the lips.
You are mine. Regardless of whether it was the last life or this one, don’t you dare think of betraying or escaping from me.
....................................
From that day on, Han Wenqian wanted Xie He constantly. Xie He never resisted. He could not live without Han Wenqian’s help.
The process of going clean was extremely painful. But for the sake of being able to get back on stage and continue playing the piano—continuing his passion for music— he could bear it all.... Music had become the only thing he lived for. It was the only thing that could give him peace.
Xie He no longer shut himself inside his room. He went down to eat and chatted with the Han couple like normal.
Even Han Wenqian hadn’t expected for the seemingly weak youth, who didn’t look like he could endure a single hit, to have such a tough side. He thought that he would choose to commit suicide.
But as reality would have it, he had chosen to persist.
Xie He acted normal during the day. But at night, he would enter Han Wenqian’s room. Han Wenqian kept his promise. As long as Xie He listened to him, he would help him.
A few days passed like this. Xie He received a call from an upperclassman. Xie He’s phone had been turned off the whole time. The upperclassman had gotten hold of his home phone after much difficulty and asked him why he had taken so many days off school. The performance in May was coming up but he hadn’t come to many rehearsals in a row, let alone attend school or practice. Even their teacher was getting rather angry.
That night, Han Wenqian held Xie He in his arms and bit his ear. He found that he was getting more and more addicted to this young man. There had never been someone who had attracted his heart and gaze like this before.
【Ding, the target Han Wenqian’s Favourability Value +5. The current Favourability Value is 55. The current Blackening Value is 70.】
Xie He’s whole body felt soft. He obediently lay in Han Wenqian’s arms, eyelashes stained with a layer of tears. His eyes were vacant. After some time, he quietly said, “I...want to go back to school. Can I?”
Han Wenqian chuckled, “Of course.”
Xie He’s eyes brightened. But when he thought of his current circumstances, his eyes dimmed again. He could not leave Han Wenqian. He fell silent for a long time before shame appeared on his face as he begged softly, “I...I’ll come see you at night, OK?”
Han Wenqian pinched his chin and kissed him. He said, “Looks like you feel really good getting f*cked by me. You can’t even go one night without a man.”
Humiliation and grief flashed through Xie He’s eyes. This person knew the real reason but still said such humiliating words to him....
Han Wenqian smiled in ridicule. “Go. I’ll come get you after school.”
Xie He nodded stiffly and then shut his eyes, exhausted.
When the sky turned bright, Xie He went back to his room very quietly. So that Mother and Father Han wouldn’t notice anything strange, he would always go to Han Wenqian’s room at night and return to his room in the morning.
Although he had to endure unimaginable pain, torment and humiliation every night, he didn’t dare let anyone find out.
These unjust days passed by just like this, time dragging on.
When Xie He reached his school, it felt like it had been a whole lifetime since he had last come here.
He stood at the school gates, dumbfounded, for a moment. He then went to see his teacher. His teacher, Xu Guokun, was an internationally-renowned pianist. He had taken a liking to Xie He’s talent and diligence so he had accepted him as a student. He took very good care of Xie He and guided him well. If it weren’t for this teacher, he would never have gotten a chance to perform at S Country’s royal concert hall.
Xie He looked at his teacher with eyes full of apology. He said, “I’m sorry. I was sick so I didn’t come to school.”
Xu Guokun had always found this student of his to be humble, sensible and diligent. Not only was he talented, but he also had a good character. Therefore, he placed great importance on him. Who would have expected that he would disappear for over ten days without a word? It was already very close to May. It had seemed like the young man hadn’t been making good use of his chance and was just doing as he pleased, without restraint. This had made him extremely angry! But now, he saw that Xie He had become much more emaciated and had dark circles under his eyes. The other’s thinned face evoked a feeling of distress in him. When Xu Guokun recalled how lovable his student was and how he never acted out...he thought that the illness may have really been just that severe.
Xu Guokun sighed. “You should at least let me know next time.”
Xie He nodded his head repeatedly and said quietly, “I understand.”
Xie He very readily admitted to his wrongs so Xu Guokun didn’t lecture him anymore. “Go, don’t disappoint me.”
Xie He deferentially bid goodbye to his teacher and went to the rehearsal room. The other students all inquired about Xie He’s health with great concern when they saw him. The lovable Xie He had always been very popular. Everyone felt very worried seeing his appearance as he looked like he had suffered a very serious illness.
Xie He felt his eyes sting when he saw the genuine concern in his classmates’ eyes. He smiled. “Thank you. I’m fine now.”
As he spoke, he looked down, not wanting anyone to see the weakness in his eyes. His classmates’ concern made him feel a shred of warmth again. So there were still some people and some things that hadn’t changed. It wasn’t the case that everyone had abandoned him...so he would still definitely be able to continue on.
....................................
When Xie He was preparing to leave his school, it was already somewhere around 5 or 6pm. When he was almost at the school gates, he heard someone calling out to him.
Shu Yan ran over to him dressed in a pale yellow dress. She was gasping for air and glaring at him angrily. She said in a furious tone, “Lin Xin!”
Xie He looked at Shu Yan, remorse filling his heart. He turned his face away and didn’t dare to look at her.
Shu Yan glared at Xie He. “You’ve been missing for so long and didn’t even give me a call. Do you know how worried I was? I heard you were sick but no one could get into contact with you.... That in itself isn’t too bad but you actually didn’t come to see me even though you came to school today?!”
Xie He looked at Shu Yan. This was his first girlfriend.... He had dated her very earnestly.
But how could he tell her about what he had experienced? Such a filthy, ugly thing.... It wasn’t like he hadn’t thought of Shu Yan, but he didn’t have the face to see her. He couldn’t face the girl he liked.
Shu Yan stared at Xie He’s silent appearance and her eyes turned red. Tears streamed down. “You...you don’t like me anymore, is that it? You’ve been avoiding me....”
Xie He took in Shu Yan’s hurt appearance and really wanted to comfort her. But before he could reach out, he recalled how he had been toyed with by men in all sorts of ways.... He felt that it was a disgrace to her if he were to touch the pure girl he liked with these hands.
Therefore, Xie He didn’t reach out. A long time later, he said, “I don’t like you anymore. Let’s break up.”
When Shu Yan heard this, there was disbelief in her beautiful eyes. “You....”
Xie He said, “I’m sorry.”
Shu Yan covered her mouth, tears still streaming down uncontrollably. She suddenly turned and ran away.
Xie He stared at Shu Yan as she left. When he thought of her crying appearance, his chest ached dully. He didn’t want to break up. He wanted to be with her. He had even been thinking of their life together after graduation.
But it was no use. Sometimes, one had to let go if one loved another.
Xie He stood in place. He could no longer see Shu Yan’s figure but he couldn’t bear to leave. It wasn’t until the sky darkened that Xie He slowly turned around and hid the sadness in his eyes.
He had to return home at night.
However, before he could take two steps, he noticed Han Wenqian leaning against his car door, clad in a black windbreaker, staring at him. Who knew how long he had stood there for?
sere: im srs just too tired to be angry at this point